Tag Archives: poetry

Journey

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— Journey — Sometimes it’s easy to feel like life has picked you up and swept you along in a direction not entirely of your choosing. Both comfort and anguish, our dwellings shape us to express our true nature. To re-chart spirit in a new direction… I am an artist in my own right. Communicating.

Jesus always with me..

“Truth has no path, and that is the beauty of truth; it is living.” — KRISHNAMURTI


Soul Smashing

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Day 21 Soul Smashing.. 30 day Journal Project. Obviously I have not done this in 30 continuous days lol.

“It’s hard to go. It’s scary and lonely… and half the time you’ll be wondering why the hell you’re in Cincinnati or Austin or North Dakota or Mongolia or wherever your melodious little finger-plucking heinie takes you.
There will be boondoggles and discombobulated days, freaked-out nights and metaphorical flat tires.
But it will be soul-smashingly beautiful..
It will open up your life.”

— Cheryl Strayed

Prompt..

It has opened up my life…

Oh absolutely. I mean it gives me a story to tell unlike anyone else’s stories. I am just going to share this little moment I had recently.

I have a heap of books on the go. Don’t look at my Good Reads account and my personal list of books I’ve added there.. lol I have SO MANY books on it that I have started reading and stopped and picked up something else. Oh my. My latest addition is ‘The Artist’s Way’ because a reference to it keeps showing up over and over and I am taking it as a sign. 🙂
In this book it suggests doing morning pages. 3 pages of writing anything at all just to get it on the page and out of you. Apparently this is supposed to help unclog our creative flow. Even if all you can say is ‘I cannot write today I have nothing to say.’ over and over. Getting yourself into a writing ritual and it isn’t meant to be pondered and it’s just for your own eyes.
I have done Morning pages for two days now.

I found myself writing about the difficulties I have had with other people who have gossiped about me and how it has possibly ruined my reputation or clouded people’s opinions of me. I will not quote myself here because it’s personal and I have never learned to write in such a way people cannot see right through me. I am not about ruining anyone else either. Of course I am not 100% about what things these tongues are saying about me. It is just that a lot of people have been indifferent towards me for quite some time and if I put two and two together I suspect that this is what has happened. I have had fall outs with a few people and I have spoken about such here on my blog and on social media. Never to out or gossip about people but to cope with it, survive it. Anyway I was sharing about this today in my Morning Pages and something else completely unrelated came into my path almost immediately after.

It has amazed me and indeed smashes my soul and is perfect for this prompt for Day 21 of 30 days.

I randomly picked up a book of Sonnets by William Shakespeare and was flicking through it. The thought bouncing around inside my head was that possibly reading one sonnet a day could help my creative inspiration or even just that I could see if the book was worth keeping. I have a very bad habit of collecting books and art supplies and ‘gulp’ not always using them. I have been slowly weeding out one thing daily and today I wanted to see if this one was worth keeping for reading, cutting up, or getting rid of. Yes I do cut up good books but most of them I pick up second hand at thrift stores so although it is still strange to cut up books I feel more justified doing so with old/used books.

At first glance I thought why am I bothering with such writing. Old style poetry/sonnets? Kept browsing looking for pics to cut out and keep and I was almost going to just ditch it when I found a sonnet with crow pics that caught my eye. I love crows. I see them all the time when I walk and I don’t know they seem to watch over me almost. Keep me company because they are simply always there.. I identify with them. They are seen as a bad omen by some yet I see great goodness in them. Birds created by God and HE takes care of them. Many scriptures about God caring for birds.

So I gave the sonnet No.70 my undivided attention. I can thank the recent Mental health and literature University course I’ve done for teaching me the value and strength of writing like this. To look deeper into it. Not expecting every word to make sense but to read out loud or ponder it and stay with it’s words and meanings and identify with the heart of the poet/author. I even went on-line to see if I could find the actual poets meaning of it. Lo and behold it echoed much the same as my feelings and thoughts I had written in my Morning pages, of course not in so eloquent of words but woah!!!

Just like that a bridge appears in my life. A bridge that connects me here in the future to the past, via my own frustrations and struggles and links me to what William Shakespeare for his own reasons wrote so very long ago. It is at this point I’m blown away with the unique timing of it’s appearing. The similarity spanning ages and my soul just sighs.

I can’t help acknowledging God immediately. I just sit and let the moment sink in. I just see so clearly as I study the words in the sonnet that the similarities found show something much deeper and far more reaching is at work. I think my jumbled and mis-matched life just makes it that much more of a miracle that this sort of connection happens. It kind of says to me something greater is working in and through us all which does link past, present and future.

I AM going to cut this sonnet out and use it in an art journal page. How mysterious that a sonnet penned so very long ago connects with me in 2017 and so beautifully describes to me similar feelings. It encourages me that all is not lost. Using Crows as well none the less.
Strengthening me that such things said about oneself shall not be to one’s defect! One’s worth shown to be greater simply because tongues have indeed risen against.

Such moments of connection do indeed happen so often in my creative life that I swoon over them and it is why I naturally want to be arty. Heart is overjoyed and my whole outlook is lighter. I feel a huge overriding sense of a past and present oneness of Spirit and at least at this moment can see it all melds together. That no matter what happens and how strange it might seem all peoples’ throughout time have experienced such. Identifying a similarity, a common thread and it comforts me. I am helped by these words in this sonnet which I will copy a pic from the book here below.. It is extraordinary.

I think to myself. For something as powerful as a connection like this to happen in a small tiny random moment in my life. How much more is happening out there to all of us that maybe we are not yet aware of but it IS still out there working beautifully and hopefully my sharing might make someone else notice soul smashing moments too.  Gives one incredible fortitude to think of the similarity of Spirit connecting us all.

 

If my life is my art, then…

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JOURNEY: 30 Day Journal Project

Day 17

ARTMAKING

“Life is pure adventure, and the sooner we realize that, the quicker we will be able to treat life as art.”
— Maya Angelou

Today’s Journal Prompt

If my life is my art, then…  Here I am.

I did an art journaling piece for this day 17 and also wrote a poem. Taking my time with this 30 days. 🙂

Took me about 24 hours to do so. I have been participating in a free Mental health and literature university course so what I have been learning has influenced the way I wrote it. Using a rhyming parameter within the poem because I like the challenge of fitting in the content of what I want to say to a sort of guideline. I haven’t let myself get too pedantic with it because I am still learning to write but I worked with it quite a while to make it sound more the way I wanted it too and feel proud of myself I had a go.

I really don’t know what to name it lol. so atm the poem has not got a title.

The art journaling quote is actually adapted from a talk by Stephen Fry when he spoke on a video lesson from said University course above. Resonated with me. I used my own writing  to show it has personal meaning to me.

I think my art is too simple but yet the spirit in me is NOT simple and I have to get over the fear that my physical life (deafness, shyness, introversion, simplicity and lack of social skills) doesn’t restrict my spirit.

I can connect to others despite myself and still make my way in the world.

I love love love the explanation Stephen Fry shares of how an artist uses his or her craft. My heart leaps inside me to be of this kind. It is exactly what I hope and wish the time I spend, the work I put into my art be for. That this isolation I face daily, this being alone so much actually has a purpose in the whole scheme of things and my writing and art journaling is in actual fact a bridge of connection for me to walk over spiritually, mentally, emotionally etc

With this whole days prompt I have tried to describe what art means to me, how it helps me, why I do it and why it is SO important. I really am learning to define myself better and can you believe it. Use less words lol. I tend to over explain everything though. Poetry is good for condensing what you want to say.

I am trying not to be too religious rather I want that to be seen in my heart and expressions, not just because of my language and outward appearance.

But it is hard not to be. I have been religious almost all my life. So its a challenge not to put God in there as I think people want Him to be in there or even how I think HE should be in there. I want to try new things. God is always my source so I want my heart to flow from that naturally. I am rather tired of the religious trappings and it tends to stifle me too. I have learnt to bypass the way most people communicate because of deafness and I think yes unlike the parameters in my poem. I want to be anti boxed in with my spirit. I want my soul/spirit/expressions to be real and authentic and find a connection not just with religious people but all people. Everyone has a spirit. God is everywhere and HE can speak to people in many ways and I try to push the boundaries of how I express my faith.

 

Perimeter of my life.

Gauging the edges.

Authenticity from strife.

Flows beyond inspiration.

Not just a heart expressed.

Spirit healing co-ordination.

Channeling Kingdom within.

Transparent of heart.

Communication is the thing.

Breaking through cessation.

Art the portal.

Soul colored exclamation.

– Peacechild4 :SMP –

 

A poem I wrote – Infant loss

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I am currently doing a free 6 week course at Future Learn called Literature and Mental Health via the University of Warwick. Current topic is “Speaking words we can’t find”. Asked to share – Are there any pieces of literature – old or modern, prose or poetry – that speak to you in the way that Katherine Philips’ poem speaks to Paula?

We have  been studying a poem by Katherine Phillips she wrote on the loss of a little baby boy which remarkably was written in the 1600’s.

I have also lost an infant baby boy. So this study is very very close to my heart. I was given a miracle of peace by God when I lost our baby infant back in 1997 which changed my whole life. For some strange reason I was easily able to talk about it too at the time but very few around me were available to me to listen to the extent I needed. So one day I got out my electric typewriter and decided to write about everything. I guess I just imagined I could do that all in one sitting. lol it isn’t possible of course. I eventually wrote 29 chapters.

But it is wonderful the very first thing I wrote was a poem. It was just a small piece of writing to lead into the actual main piece of writing which was the first chapter and so on. It was a miracle I wrote at all because I had three other little children to raise at the time I started and it came remarkably easy and I had never written a book before or since. I will add the link to this blog post to the university comment section to share it with others there but also because it was straight from a grieving mothers heart and I just see that it helped me to get it out, to see it in written form and others have been helped by it too. I have not edited it, it is the exact same form I wrote it. The very first thing I wrote before I typed up what is now the entire story. It doesn’t even have a title it was just the leading paragraph at the very start. To introduce the story. Again it is a miracle also this poem began it all because at that time I HAD never written poetry before either.

I have even kept it in the form first written. because as I have been learning in the course, the written form is also part of how we express our emotions etc.. It is religious in nature because my faith was exactly what was helping me through. All based on a miracle of peace from God through this terrible period when our baby son Tyler was born, became very ill when he was only a few days old and died at 8 weeks old from a heart/lung abnormality.

See in the address up top of this blog.. eternalpeacechild. It is all linked to what I experienced through this loss. My online name is peacechild4.

I have not ever published the book.. I did share the chapters on face book and with family and friends in written form and on a few websites but not as book form or even ebook form. Poem in bold so you know what is the actual poem..

 

I wrote this poem, a mother coming to terms with the death of my child.
I have seen much that I have had no control over. I have suffered the weight of feelings I can’t escape.

What I experienced alongside my child has survived.
So precious that I had to write this down.
Although nothing can take away what has happened.
I know throughout his life there was meaning.

If my son received the inner peace throughout that I have been given through my faith in Jesus Christ.
Then all that I saw, all that my child went through, that has produced my lack of fear to write, brings hope.

I have the calming reason to believe, that from my experience of peace. I am given assurance of how much more Tyler deserved it, and how a loving God would give all the more to him.

In my impression of Tyler’s story I endeavor to share how he received what I now hold onto.

Tyler’s Story never ends.
It just begun in a different place.



Truth Matters

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Creating art via journalling/digital ap and sharing it. Also I’ve decided to write a poem about my art!! 

I’m really encouraged to post this today. Haven’t blogged in ages. A few days ago I said a difficult thing to a family member. It’s hard for me to say how I feel believe it or not. I was more worried about how she’d feel than actually being true to myself and how I was feeling. But the greatest sign that I was right was straight afterwards I was creatively inspired and it was easy. For quite some time I’ve been blank again.. Uninspired and unmotivated.. So it really has shown me the way through!! 

 It was like my heart channel was opened again. I easily completed two art pieces!! This is the third! Plus a poem!! 

The thing that surprised me also was spiritually I felt the art was more powerfully expressing in a deeper way than ever before.. This is the most exciting thing. Because you know it’s felt such a fruitless, long, lonely path. Just existing really. But to see such depth of meaning from flat, boring, blank, what seems lifeless months.. Shows me all is not lost.. I have been learning in this vacuum of what feels no mans land. 

It is absolutely true you see Gods Spirit with you most acutely in your weakest state. You know your lack well. You know all that isn’t happening.. HE is that oomph from your empty vessel.. Gives you unbelievable hope!! 

Isn’t this the reason for poetry and painting? To express what we cannot say in common language?

“Sketchbooks Lisa Sonara”

I think it’s the reason also we fall so short.. So that the rising is so much more beautiful in its unfolding.

Sometimes you can’t express yourself the way everyone else does so you choose to find another way. You might not even do things the way everyone else does or do things everyone else thinks you should do. 

Sometimes to say how you feel is not socially acceptable. It makes you look pathetic and weak instead of brave. Sometimes things happen to you and the world around you doesn’t listen or are not open to hear you.. Writing and art is my way to express what I’m feeling and I love love love doing it!! It’s a freedom that I truly don’t use enough.. 

Screaming silently.

Noiseless suffering. 

Feels like drowning.  

Beneath deep waters. 

Emotions unexpressed. 

Keep me submerged.

I must throw off restraint. 

Look fear in the eye. 

Allow truth to surface. 

Buoyant spirit to arise.

Falseness give up its deathly grip. 

Slipping away into dark abyss.  

Alive with spirit wings. 

Breaking through. 

Where naked soul is welcome. 

Where honesty is desirable.

Where fear is no more. 

Unshackled in the wind. 

Soaring in the ebb and flow.

Emphatically free.

SMP – Peacechild4

New Years Resolutions

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I start off writing furiously.

Good intentions.

Can’t write fast enough.

Keep my room clutter free.. 

Write daily..

Read daily.

Cook nicer meals.

Walk daily.

Keep in better contact with people.

The list goes on..

But very quickly as the days pass.

I get distracted.

Time slips by.

One by one I forget.

Guilts nags.

I dare not read back that far.

Reminding myself I can’t do this resolution thing.

But wait one habit did stick! 

It’s hard not to walk now!!

I have kept that up!

So something did work!

Perhaps this thing isn’t so much about failings.

But about what triumphs were created! 

Now to go back and rewrite this year. 

Only need one to stick than I will have two!!!

—— 

Following along She Writes Poetry explains more there. A free writing challengefor 2016.. 

 
My doggie Bella and me.. About to go on one of our daily walks!! 

Found Poem

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I found a free sample offering of a Poetry course I am thinking of doing in the near future. I will add link below.. I do recommend the teacher she is amazing! Her name is Beth Morey! I have purchased her poetry book. “Night Cycles.”

Her book on amazon

Her free offering encouraging me to write a “found poem”. Insert below copied from her post.. find link to post below..

For our first assignment, let’s have some fun and create found poems. According to the Academy of American Poets, “Found poems take existing texts and refashion them, reorder them, and present them as poems. The literary equivalent of a collage, found poetry is often made from newspaper articles, street signs, graffiti, speeches, letters, or even other poems” (source).

I love cutting out pictures from magazines etc so this pic is from a fashion magazine and I found an old book and just cut out words and phrases here and there. Whatever took my fancy at first.. What first caught my eye was the phrase. ‘She wore the green dress’.. so I used that as the basis of the whole poem.. Hence the picture I found with a woman in a green dress.. Than built the poem around those words. Of course some words I had already cut out didn’t fit so it was a real challenge to find words to fit my pic and poem..

Put them altogether. It really makes you think about what you want to say, what the photo evokes in you etc.. Like writing a mini story..

Being a single woman. On my own a lot and a romantic at heart. I let my imagination run wild.

 

The Guide 

She was dreaming.

She wore the green dress.

he would guess mythical, romantic, carefree.

What an extraordinary girl, he thought.

He let the tranquility and mystery cloak him.

it entered, sat in his heart.

He held it there.

She wished to be unobserved.

He sat for a moment and watched her.

Yet now, unbidden.

Sank back to normality.

Hauled out of his daydream.

maybe one day.

Coming towards him.

eyes fixed with hunger

made him giddy beside her.

He sighed, waiting.

He could only watch, helpless.

the one guarding her.

he stood.

and looked out over to the west range

but the garden and surrounding grounds

remained empty of life.

 

 

The Guide

Introducing POETRY IS + Free Sample! – she of the wild

 

Little Streams

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(To create the digital image that fitted my poem – combination of pictures I used Diana ap.. A third picture miraculously appeared in my iPad ap. So astounded me! Worth mentioning here! Added it below so out of all my pictures that could have appeared that one turned up!!! So I decided to combine the three pics together. Ha ha the LORD wanted in and it wonderfully is what this poem is about anyway!)

Little Streams

Don’t be afraid to let go the broken pieces.
Cupped so tightly in your hands.
The pieces that you’ve gathered from near and far.
They pierce your hands even as you hold them.
Mingled with your blood and tears.
They’ve been trampled on and flung to the ends of the earth.
Nobody treasures them but you.
Let them go into the little stream.
I know your in a desert but see it.
Even here it still flows.
I know you’ve lost your way.
Can’t find your tribe.
The people who understand you.
Who embrace and love every part.
They are waiting too.
To join with you.
But first you must find that you are exactly where you need to be.
You are found.
Now let them safely go..
Each jagged piece matters.
Place them in the little stream because it always flows from where you are to where you need to be.
Just need to realize that you can find the little stream right where you are.
It will carry all that is misunderstood and all that is broken towards the purest crystal sea.
HE is there.
To collect and mend your broken pieces and welcome you home.
This little stream and every other all flow towards HIM.
Flowing to a place so beautiful you can finally show your full face and all that you are without shame.
Where there is no more hiding.
No need to escape.
No more being lost.
No more misunderstanding.
No more rejection.
No more abuse.
No more poverty.
No more injustice.
No more hatred.
No more evil.
Where your soul has yearned to be.
Where you are completely free.
Love lives there.
For the stream will carry all that has brought pain in your life to this healing place.
Your heart will be at peace as you fully release your earthly bondage.
Even while you are still kneeling there.
Wherever you are.
Whoever you are.
Unearthly strength will flood your whole being and instantly change everything.

By SMP ~ Peacechild4

  

  

Hope

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I have NOT blogged for awhile I really really need too..
I tend to shut down if I don’t.
Journal or blogging same thing.
I tend not to write with a pen because my writing is so very messy.
Depressingly messy. Artists scrawl the most beautiful messages on their art work.
It’s sad I can’t do that. Not really. I think the writing unless you want the meaning hidden. Should be
Legible.

Yesterday I spent a lot of the day creating a painting. Do not do that often.
It really pumped me up to do it.
The night before last I woke in the early morning hours after a nightmare a little before that.
I was speaking in poetry!! Weird I know but it woke me up enough to notice it. I quickly got
Out my ipad and started taking notes. I rarely can remember my dreams so I knew if I didn’t
Take notes that I would not remember it in the morning.

This art piece shared here and the poem have sprang from that. I have wanted to write poetry for ages.
I mean I have been here and there writing pieces. But it hasn’t flowed easily. But what came to me in
The night was perfect! To me it was! It fit with a beautiful hand crafted stamp I recently received
From a local artist. The words in my mind also fit with my personal situation and that they came the
Way they did and in a continuous flow was mind blowing. Especially because poets write using descriptions
To explain what they are feeling. I don’t know why but I struggled to think of my feeling in symbolic form.
Everything that I was thinking. The words. Images. Everything just all of it I can relate too!! I really
Couldn’t have said it that way naturally if I tried!!

I have been reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s newest book “Big Magic” and she speaks of trains of inspirational
Creative thought that seek us out and we are the ones that need to take hold of them when they come..
It was exactly as she had written about! I really have not had many of them. It has for a long time
been me sweating it out and not knowing what I wanted to do. Especially how to describe it. Break through
for me!!

How to do it and a direction to take. I love creativity. I love writing etc
But to actually create something with function and that beautifully and powerfully expressed my whole life
As I am currently experiencing it.
I mean WOW!!!
This is in a form that I could give away. Could sell..
Though I wince at that thought. My art has mistakes. I originally posted this first on Instagram.
Posted first with the poem digitally added. Neat and tidy.
Later I cut out each line and found a marker to outline it which has smudged.
It isn’t pretty and possibly the words are not clear. I have ruined so many markers trying to write
over paint and/or crafty substances.

The poem. The words. I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it. Miracle. Magic. I believe it is of God’s
Spirit!! Thanking Him over and over.
I so want to be authentic with my own voice. I do not want to overtly religious.
I want to speak in every day language.
When I originally told the artist Asphyxia (I will add a link to her website) I loved the cross idea. Some
Of her other characters held crosses. I wanted her to represent me. I think the cross is known to be
Associated with Christianity. Obviously people will always interpret what your meaning is in art work in
Their own way. But to me it represents my spirituality, my faith and relationship to Jesus!
It is everything I am about. You can’t take it away. It is who I am. Core of my being. Central to who I am.

I hold it up. It is what I want seen. Can’t take the spirit out of the girl. But it is so much more than
religious. I think of religions as set in their ways where I am definitely not that kind of person. I think
Religious people are set apart. Rock solid in what they believe. I like to define myself as one who stands
On the rock rather than being a rock myself. I have found that people do not accept you as easily if you are
different to the mainstream. I do identify as a believer but unique and special in my own way.

I suppose there are some that will always reject me because of the cross. There are also those who will reject
Me because I do not do what everyone else does. No matter my core beliefs.

This is me! I love love love to share it!!

Poem..

One day on the steep slope she became a poetess.

People looked for her.

Thinking she’d fallen down a deep hole.

Never looking up.

Instead they looked down.

Peering from the edges. 

Glaring into the darkness.

All they ever said was that she’d fallen.

She was still on the steep slope though.

Tenaciously holding onto her cross.

It provided strength and purpose.

Blinking in the bright sunshine.

She could still see the people. 

But they were not looking for her anymore.

She decided to sit awhile. 

Contemplating where she was.

Her view gave her inspiration.

She started engraving etchings.

On the side of the mountain.

Realizing that the journey was not in vain. 

One day someone will look up again, 

she thought.

So she stayed there. 

Kept doing what she could do.

Time became her friend.

Eventually people did look up 

again.

They recognized her. 

Read her messages.

They began to understand 

why she’d gone.

What kept her there.

She gave them hope.

Asphyxia ~ art, book & inspiration

hope2

Unexpected

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Don’t know for how long.
I’ve wanted the unexpected.
Longed for it like water is needed in a dry and dusty land.
For what though?
I can’t name it or put it into words.
Just an intense ache.
Looking for a window to open up.
For things to make sense.
Something more to happen.
Energy-less.
Stationary.
Waiting.
A tiredness of soul that no thing or person can touch.
Now knowing why or for what or how to address it.
Not held back or sad even. 
Just an unknowing of a way to go forward.
Little desire to do anything.
My world seems empty.
So I cry out to GOD.
With what breath I have left I pray.
It all drives me to HIM..
No answer in any other place.