Tag Archives: Painting

What it all means personally.

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Happy Easter..

I have not blogged in simply ages. I have been concentrating on art expression in visual ways and paint on paper or canvas ways. Today because it is considered one of the highest important holy days in the Christian calendar and as I did not attend a physical building I think it might be a perfect day to write and connect hopefully with others. When I say connect I mean others can read and respond or just read or ignore completely which probably happens more then not. 🙂 But it is my way to share this moment, on this day, on this occasion just in a different way then others share it. Except I am not confined to a physical location and specific time. When I post words and thoughts and any corresponding pictures it stays there and can continue to speak. That kind of tickles my fancy.. A bit thrilling cause it becomes timeless in its own way.

Just an easier place to connect for me and it is more meaningful too. Where I am not just sitting and vegetating in an environment where I am not feeling connected to others.

I cannot hear or enjoy any music, nor really join in singing or worshipping that way nor hear a good sermon or even bow in prayer and join with others cause I have no way to know what is being shared around me. Because I cannot hear it and I get distracted and I cannot enjoy it. I am not really drawn that way any longer.

I am here.. God is here and I am at peace and I can wholly immerse myself in what I am writing and flowing with here. I enjoy it.

I am so very thankful to HIM for what Easter means and I can talk about my recent painting that I didn’t get to share more about. HE continually is placing religious art and art supplies in my way and its so personal and HE is saying to me.. enjoy this journey and please express it and gladfully share it. I am here with you. So close. I have given you this way to express yourself and connect with others don’t be afraid to soak it in and you do not need to be this or that or go here and there and you do not need anyone else’s approval or to do anything different to what is on your heart and how I am leading you.. I feel so precious. So favoured and because I am online I can also share it which makes it a way to communicate too.

But it is different to the majority and it means not looking to traditional methods and it means every day reflection and inspiration not just on certain days. Every day is holy and divine but I am free to experience it in normal and every day life and also a way that is incredibly life affirming and life giving to me personally.

Religious type art expression again can set you apart and there will be only certain people who will respond to it and sometimes no one but it does sort of encourage people who are not religious to respond and take notice simply because its in art form and there is freedom there. All people can appreciate freedom well I hope they can. True freedom is what our LORD came to bring to the world in any case.

2 Corinthinans 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

My art of Jesus on the cross.. was inspired by a $1 dollar purchase of a beautiful prayer book. I did intend at first to cut it up for collage and art journaling and it was cheap but I may not of course because I find it hard to cut up beautiful things. So much gorgeous art in this beautiful book as well as prayers and writings. You see when I find these things it truly is as if HE puts them in my path. Well within my budget and yes I will admit to collecting many beautiful things and also things that inspire me and I enjoy being surrounded by them…

I do not want to be so ‘religious’ as such though this would be considered religious art.. I want my art to be personal, from my core and spiritual but also approachable. To be completely honest to who I am and what I believe but also not make it so that it isn’t disrespectful to GOD and HIS presence and glory. HE is holy and grand in the grandest sense but HE is not to me a central focus where I feel I need to be like everyone else.. not that I do not need people or too belong. Just that through HIM I believe and see that I am joined to everyone else and I guess that fixed gaze does tend to keep me not drawn to different ways of living or needing to be like everyone else. Through HIM I live and find my whole being revitalised and totally at peace.

My whole reason to exist, like HE is the sun and I am simply one of the planets among a whole solar system of other planets and we are all rotating and going through our existence revolving around HIM and although each is its own separate existence we are all one because of HIM who is at the centre of all life.

Seeking HIM first and HIS kingdom and HIS righteousness (not my own) and then all these things are added to me .. my rendition of Matthew 6:33

I thought first about painting on a canvas or something blank that you could do something else with or display at a later date. But my art journal is where I am daily. It has many things in it that are all personal to me. I have not set out to make a living from my art money wise or to display it other then online. I just felt led to create it at a personal level. I had already pre-painted the background. It felt right to paint it in here. Alongside a cut up collage of a city scene in winter .. It says.. here is where I seek and find GOD in my every day life right where I am, as I am.

So I put myself in the painting looking up at HIM like I do in my personal life. Being Easter HE is on the cross and inspired by that book I just found recently so it all fits in together. I did hesitate to paint something like this because the image I am basing my painting on is so perfectly painted. By artist Rogier van der Weyden (1400 -64) Christ on the cross..

This is where I have to lose all fear. Just have a go. Let go. let GOD. I remember the other day walking around the house after painting the initial painting. I love to pray walking around lol and also I can pray doing most anything.

I was saying to God.. how minuscule what I create is.. How I live. How I appear and present myself in this world. All so miniscule. Immediately after that prayer was said my youngest son came up and offered to me a plate of my favourite snacks. It was so beautiful. Like a reward straight after and I thanked God and was at peace. I mean I tie everything in you know. So I just do my thing. I find my joy in it and good things happen to me along the way!!

This is my intention always. ***

2 Corinthians 4:7 New Living Translation
We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.

and for a different slant from English Standard Version
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.

So I can be unafraid even amongst the curled up pages of my art journal. My cluttered room. My introverted ways. By simple paintings.. to show you this absolute greatness of GOD that chooses to show HIMSELF through me.. ***

HE was vulnerable on the cross. At the mercy of me as an artist lol but also in life at the mercy of soldiers who didn’t care for human dignity or human suffering the cross was punishment and extremely cruel. I mean I realise they didn’t believe it was GOD right. But they would have heard the stories and maybe even witnessed miracles I do not know. I know the bible says on that day remarkable things happened. I mean this man was well known and he had followers and loved ones surrounding him. HE had stirred up a lot of people including the religious people of that day. HE was hated and HE was loved deeply.

To paint his body. HIS manly body. HIS human body. HE was probably stripped naked on that cross.. No decency here right. But I covered his maleness. I just wanted that to represent how I wish to depict truth but also not disrespect GOD or others in the process. I do not do what I do for shock value or even to disrespect others way of life. I see that modesty and honour is important. But I did start out being quite crude with my painting. I mean his arms are not right because HE was a carpenter HE would have been strong but to me the whole closeness of SPIRIT is hard because there is no touch.. there is no physical presence and I find that hard. It is lonely and I miss physical presence but faith isn’t seeing so you have to learn to trust and when you let go of the need for the physical closeness that strength and support brings.. you must find form and fortitude in weakness. So as I persisted on through my painting HIS face, heart, chest and lower body it became easier to form and paint. It was beautiful painting HIS body.. It felt freeing and I could identify with HIM as thoroughly human through this painting.. HIS suffering is beautiful to me because I have suffered and HE has become real to me in my suffering. So I am comforted.. I find hope and beauty in HIS suffering so that is how HIS thorns transformed to what appears a floral wreath.. though I did not mean that at all. I find my strength and momentum to live because HE is close to the broken hearted and HE himself was broken for me. Though HE is on the cross I believe and know HE has already overcome death, suffering and all evil and so will I.

By HIS wounds I am healed. At Easter and every day forward and back and for all eternity. I find life and not just life but abundant life.

 

 

 

 

She Remembered

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I read those words in a novel I am currently reading and they stood out and motivated me to create this art and make a perfect heading.

Absolute struggle for me personally of late and this time I have told nobody except God alone. I don’t think I have ever done that before. Especially considering the intensity of it. I had a night of disturbed sleep and very dramatic dreams and I was struggling with what it all personally meant to me. Alone with it but I went straight to GOD and it was enough!! Peace came.. An absolute complete turn around in me.

The girl or woman figure in the painting is in black and white. No colour in her world. She craves it but you cannot change things sometimes no matter how hard you want it changed. I knew immediately that she was going to be in black and white and you were only going to see half of her face. She is right there easily accessed awake and waiting. But she’s struggling.

I wanted to add these words too which were my own truth.

She fails. She hurts. She’s anxious. She doubts. She has faults. She needs.

But what strikes me in my own life as I created this is that I can so very easily interpret it right here and there is so much meaning and I don’t intend for it, or work for it or even have to think it out. But yet I am able to easily see it in what I have created that it is flowing out of me with absolute ease..

I can tell you I am not one to easily explain myself to anyone even those closest to me and yes I didn’t recently tell anyone either even though it was such an intense battle I was facing. In fact my hardest battles have mostly been fought on my own. So it is from all this that my art expression in this painting finds its outlet.. And there’s this incredible difference between flesh and spirit and how I face the world when I live via one as opposed to the other.

So my black and white portrait despite the struggle is up nice and close, even in her rawness shes not staying small. She is incredibly upfront and vulnerable but to me that is bravery. My life too has been incredibly hidden yet I believe and can see that at least art wise, creative wise I am up front.

She is looking straight ahead. I find such strength here despite the fact I am writing raw words, hard words. Even void of colour she is still head forward, eyes opened and I think very fearless.
The painting is depicting that moment where she is remembering HIM and all that HE has become to her on her journey and how when that comes into the light faults don’t even matter in fact we can be shamelessly bold. I know I quote this alot. When I am weak HE is strong but I am going to take it even a step further because the well known verse talks about being able to boast about it and that this is exactly how best HIS help is seen in us and through us.. And it is exactly how it is in my life to especially me.

But here I think you can best see the juxtapose of my painting. The frail human next to the strong figure of Jesus who is the Christ yet they stand level and together as one. In HIS rich and vivid colours HE is full of beauty, majesty and also ever present help and is accessible to me but it is not by sight but by faith so I chose to have his eyes closed because HE is my rest and my comfort and I don’t need to see him to know HIM. I also believe that I can fully trust HIM to bring together all my loose ends and all that troubles me and it will be a great ending despite some very hard and long chapters..

I know many talk of walking and talking with HIM.. Hearing HIM and even seeing HIM.. I haven’t had that to a great extent in my life. It has been a pure faith walk.. Spiritual battle that is way beyond my strength and ability to cope and even make sense of… So I find incredible fortitude when peace fills my heart despite all that comes against me and all that falls away and all I fail at. Gives me rock solid unsinkable hope.

Changes the atmosphere around me and I can find my rhythm and express my faith in a way that paints purpose into my life and I also get the joy that comes because I share that with you. I resonate also with the red colours on his face.. There is pain in HIS face mixed with royal beauty and majesty and I resonate with the suffering HE went through coming to earth to live as a fragile human to help me find and access eternal life on earth even before I die.

This painting so lifts up my spirit because its so meaningful to my life, journey and testimony but its also honest about where I am and I who I am and I hope and pray you can see HIS strength because it is absolutely life changing especially when I have been so fragile and it is radiating in me so strong and beautifully even though people close to me only partly see me and that for the most part I have felt so black and white in this world ..

I don’t want to impress people with my talents that is not my desire at all. I want to show what GOD has done to help me through my difficulties and I know my weakness shows that up better then my strengths ever could.. HE is so real to me and so present. The inspiration behind the painting.. The creative ideas came from HIM. I had nothing I was nowhere even close to creating something like this but HE just makes that much difference and the peace that comes I mean you need no props and it didn’t come from anyone else at all so anyone can have all this as well right where you are and right now as you are. I truly was all those things I wrote. I just desire with all my heart to show what HE does for the fragile soul for the soul that struggles in this world and does not understand what is going on. But who can find hope, purpose and joy just in being who I am, and encourage you to find all these as you are and through who we are created to be… faults and all.

I was struggling but when I remembered it made all the difference..

HE is
I AM
LOVE
PEACE
TRUTH
LIFE

****

“Meg, I give you your faults.”
“My faults!” Meg cried.
“Your faults.”
“But I’m always trying to get rid of my faults!”
“Yes,” Mrs. Which said. “However, I think you’ll find that they’ll come in handy on Camazotz.”

From the movie ‘Wrinkle in Time’

Finding my voice through finger painting

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Doing a new course I started via an art bundle by Alena Hennessy.. I was asked..

What did you discover or uncover by doing this lesson?

What surprised you? What felt familiar?

My thoughts below on these questions along with my art piece..

I pulled out the colour acrylic paints that I was attracted too. Started in a sort of flow pattern using my fingers not a brush. I was less worried than I have been before about what I was actually doing. I always approach painting even something as simple as finger painting with a bit of trepidation. I feel it has to mean something from the get go. I’m not used to free form painting I’m used to my art having some sort of structure. I did do it with that lurking in the back of my mind. So I am not quite free yet but every time I paint I am a little bit freer.
What surprised me as I got started is that I instinctively started to form something on the page without thinking. And even though I did not have a formal plan it started to take a shape of sorts. I just kept it up and used the colors I had originally been drawn too. Only now I found another separate color would come to mind and I went and got it and added it. Not for any reason but that the color came to mind so I used it. I started with blues, greens and a maroon color. Then for some reason I thought of the colors yellow and bit later white. I added pink as well. I didn’t wait till it dried before adding more so that changed some.. It surprised me that I was thinking of colors out of what seemed like thin air. Then as I kept at it I felt that things were fitting into a kind of pattern. It was starting to mean something and that felt really good but there was also no pressure on me whatsoever. The relaxing meditation before I started really calmed me and although my body didn’t appear to be giving me any messages at that time.. which was one of the things we were asked to take note of. My painting did actually feel like I was painting my back bone and blood and it was channeling my creative flow and the wonderful growth and beauty it is bringing to my life.

So astonishingly enough my body was actually speaking to me cause there it is on the page!! I could literally feel that flow in my fingertips and how all my creative endeavours up to this point in life have been changing me within and ‘tada’ this is what was showing up on the page.

Familiar feeling to me was using creativity and enjoying my art journal.. Feeling free creating and feeling that now I’m expressing myself on a page I’m a true artist.. I had the idea as I kept it up that it wasn’t finished. So I just kept adding to it.. kept going till I was done..

The longer I painted the more I could feel where I wanted to add a color and how that color fit onto the page.

When I look at it now I feel its finished. How do I know?? I do not know lol.

I sense the word ‘Persistence’ when I look at it. I have had to be Persistent in my life, faith & art.. stubborn to keep my chin up.. Develop a back bone and creative expression has been a major factor through which Gods Spirit has brought me back to life.. Cause I’ve really felt in the past I was almost extinguished and felt stagnant.. separate to everyone else because my path became so narrow.. It was like I’ve been walking down a long, dark tunnel mostly on my own for a very long time but I can still see the world I just can’t break through.. Art has been the roots of a new strong me breaking through!!

I really like seeing in this painting that my life is beautifully flowing again.. and it’s all connected and I can truly say I am no longer stagnant or feeling as separate and alone..

I am really surprised just how colors that I have so easily finger painted onto a page can be so meaningful.