Tag Archives: Me

I especially want to voyage to..


JOURNEY: 30 Day Journal Project that’s taken months lol but not giving up.

Day 29

Prompt — I especially want to voyage to..

Some people travel the world I may never get to do that. But every day I have access to me. So many things in my life including people have tried to shut me down. The person who I am. My prerogative is to live out loud and at the very least enjoy my life and let that joy be released somewhere. All the better if it helps someone else!!

Lately so many photos on my face book news-feed have been of friends I know traveling the world sharing their adventures. It is lovely and how easy it is these days to share what one is doing even on the other side of the world. I get to see places I could never afford to see but alas it does remind me of how closeted I am. How boring and poor I am lol travel wise. 🙂

I enjoy seeing the world though but it can make the four walls around me seem to be closing in mighty tight especially when you think outwardly too much about it and wish yourself away but you cannot go there in person.

When I was thinking about this prompt I mean obviously there are many places in the world I would love to see. I grew up learning about the bible and the stories in it and I actually would love to travel to the Holy land and see those places for real.. I am best friends with a Canadian on line so obviously as I have talked to him all about his life and where he lives I have grown an interest in his part of the world that would be fascinating to see in person especially cause it would mean meeting him too.

But honestly thinking too much about what I cannot do is quite self defeating.

So my mind was whirring as I contemplated this prompt and suddenly a song popped into my head. The song with lyrics “I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me..” Vivian Chow is the artist and Ron Miller the composer.
I have not been all over the world in fact I have never traveled out of Australia except to Tasmania lol which is an island state but daily I can visit and trip to ‘me’ and lack of money cannot bar me from this journey.. The imagination alone of one human being can change a world. Look at artists and authors whose imagination has brought much joy through the ages!! Dr Suess, Ronald Dahl, J. K Rowling, J. R. R. Tolkien, Frida Kahlo, Vincent Van Gogh, Claude Monet.. Andy Warhol.. to name a few.. So I shouldn’t be so afraid of being in my own little world.

You can never be bored if you open up your mind, use what you have at hand and introverts can really be at home with themselves and enjoy their own life much more than extroverts could.. If you can be happy on your own and find your own amusement right where you are it makes the hard times extremely bearable and you can still have a full life. Paint your world red or blue or green or multi-colored and change it every day if that’s what you wish.

Obviously art journaling, prompts, blogging etc all these are ways to explore myself and my faith and life. If I can keep doing it daily it truly helps me stay positive, happy and stops me shutting down. Cause we all know life can be hard and a daily slog and when not much changes around you, not much money etc you can pine away and lose hope.. Creativity keeps the inner world alive and kicking and imagination can take you places that are fun, challenging, deep or shallow and do not depend of others being there or not.

That song I quoted before many of the lyrics resonated with me so I added them to my art journal page.

It’s interesting as I look at the pages which I did a while ago now. That although the black figure which represents me seems boring it is surrounded by very bright colors!!!  I can see in my art I am depicting that I am not found where naturally one would think I should be.. I live on in my art and I don’t know whether other people do see that or not. I do not get a lot of responses and although I am not really very social at all I think my art is me being extremely social!!!

My art continues to go out into the world so people can find me if they really want too and I hope get to know me better this way.
The key word for this days journey is Advice and mine is ‘Live out Loud’ which just seems so appropriate and what my life has been all about as I am said to be a quiet, introverted person yet bright yellow in the background really does scream something quite different doesn’t it.

Deaf people are often muted in the world simply because we cannot communicate in the normal way so we can be easily forgotten and left out.

One important way to live fully functioning for a deaf person is through expressive sign language which I don’t think anyone can help noticing!! It’s very visual and many hearing people nowadays enjoy learning it.. A whole new path to communicate.

Art has been my path and it so beautiful and I am very thankful to God for it. Loud is  expressed in the colors that I use. Loud is speaking my truth and sharing my spirit/heart publicly often even when it appears no one is listening.

Sharing my blog which is my thoughts etc into the world via social media IS being loud. It all says something about who I am and what my message is to the world and sometimes I am amazed just what I am expressing and how easy it is to do when in the natural I feel quite tightly bound and muted. I cannot physically put myself out into the world like I wish I could but here oh wow I am as free as a bird. So where I am missing in this world.. you can still find me.. right here is where I am and what I share is what I feel and think and see. So where I cannot travel in a physical sense with words or in person or to different places because I do not have the money or availability to do so. I can travel through myself via the creative expressions I use.

This lyric from the above mentioned song say it perfectly.

Because I had to be free.

What deep down, have you hoped for all your life?


To Matter. To Belong. To be loved for who I am, to be cherished.. To feel respected especially by a man for who I am as a woman and feel like I matter to them.. A romantic dream/day dream I’ve had for a long time is to share all my love and all my heart with someone and know I was treasured, wanted and I could love them in return and we could share our lives, hearts, bodies and souls… To share myself with another self… face to face, soul to soul.. Heavenly. That who I am doesn’t drive someone away but draws us closer together.. Bliss…

I’ve always been told its not about me.. Which is soul destroying.. Instead told…Its about being a mother. Being a good Christian.. Being this or being that. But hardly ever its just about being me. But wow I am me and I always will be me till eternity! Lol so why not be about me. I don’t think you can ever be happy and full till you are fully free to be yourself.. That’s when you can start looking outward and enjoy someone else fully and so on and so on.
Doesn’t every person deserve love just because…. They exist… God created us all different so we wouldn’t be all the same. And every single soul is precious huh!! Yes SIReee… But also Jesus said He didn’t just come that we have life but life to the full so why cannot we have the things we most deeply desire?? That would make life very full wouldn’t it!!! And don’t happy people…. well it spills out of them.. Life that is.. Ha ha think about.. Isn’t love making the spilling out of the the overflow of love and new life is born from that.
So a full life comes from deep down knowing we are valuable and it takes someone else knowing it too. Life is doubled when you share it and where love is returned a family is born..

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage
Lao Tzu

When I was married and my MIL was in our families company and we travelled anywhere I would quietly take a back seat in the car giving up where I usually sat in the front to honour her as special and worthy of sitting beside her son.
I liked watching my then husband honour and treat his mother special… I wanted to do what I could to make her feel that way too.. We didn’t see her that often so it was even more important to make her feel loved and special..

I used to work sometimes in my Grandmas book store when I was younger. I am the oldest in my family and I had the special privilege as the oldest to help serve in the shop and sometimes I received gifts for my time and effort.. One thing I received that brought me great pleasure is my Uncle who also worked in the store would sometimes take me out to lunch. I felt very grown up to go out and have lunch with my Uncle.
I could order special treats like a milkshake and as it was something I didn’t do in my normal life the whole experience from choosing a table, picking what you wanted to eat, being served and not having to clean up.. I felt happy and special and very loved!

This picture by Goog Guarino really speaks to my heart today.. I am worth value just being “ME” and so are you who is reading are valuable just because you are “YOU”