Category Archives: Soul Expression

However that comes…

Finding my voice through finger painting

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Doing a new course I started via an art bundle by Alena Hennessy.. I was asked..

What did you discover or uncover by doing this lesson?

What surprised you? What felt familiar?

My thoughts below on these questions along with my art piece..

I pulled out the colour acrylic paints that I was attracted too. Started in a sort of flow pattern using my fingers not a brush. I was less worried than I have been before about what I was actually doing. I always approach painting even something as simple as finger painting with a bit of trepidation. I feel it has to mean something from the get go. I’m not used to free form painting I’m used to my art having some sort of structure. I did do it with that lurking in the back of my mind. So I am not quite free yet but every time I paint I am a little bit freer.
What surprised me as I got started is that I instinctively started to form something on the page without thinking. And even though I did not have a formal plan it started to take a shape of sorts. I just kept it up and used the colors I had originally been drawn too. Only now I found another separate color would come to mind and I went and got it and added it. Not for any reason but that the color came to mind so I used it. I started with blues, greens and a maroon color. Then for some reason I thought of the colors yellow and bit later white. I added pink as well. I didn’t wait till it dried before adding more so that changed some.. It surprised me that I was thinking of colors out of what seemed like thin air. Then as I kept at it I felt that things were fitting into a kind of pattern. It was starting to mean something and that felt really good but there was also no pressure on me whatsoever. The relaxing meditation before I started really calmed me and although my body didn’t appear to be giving me any messages at that time.. which was one of the things we were asked to take note of. My painting did actually feel like I was painting my back bone and blood and it was channeling my creative flow and the wonderful growth and beauty it is bringing to my life.

So astonishingly enough my body was actually speaking to me cause there it is on the page!! I could literally feel that flow in my fingertips and how all my creative endeavours up to this point in life have been changing me within and ‘tada’ this is what was showing up on the page.

Familiar feeling to me was using creativity and enjoying my art journal.. Feeling free creating and feeling that now I’m expressing myself on a page I’m a true artist.. I had the idea as I kept it up that it wasn’t finished. So I just kept adding to it.. kept going till I was done..

The longer I painted the more I could feel where I wanted to add a color and how that color fit onto the page.

When I look at it now I feel its finished. How do I know?? I do not know lol.

I sense the word ‘Persistence’ when I look at it. I have had to be Persistent in my life, faith & art.. stubborn to keep my chin up.. Develop a back bone and creative expression has been a major factor through which Gods Spirit has brought me back to life.. Cause I’ve really felt in the past I was almost extinguished and felt stagnant.. separate to everyone else because my path became so narrow.. It was like I’ve been walking down a long, dark tunnel mostly on my own for a very long time but I can still see the world I just can’t break through.. Art has been the roots of a new strong me breaking through!!

I really like seeing in this painting that my life is beautifully flowing again.. and it’s all connected and I can truly say I am no longer stagnant or feeling as separate and alone..

I am really surprised just how colors that I have so easily finger painted onto a page can be so meaningful.

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Touched By An Angel

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Just a lovely moment I wanted to share..

The Spirit is moving!! God does use angels to touch our hearts!! Connecting us in a myriad of incredible ways even across the world.. providing comfort, inspiration and strength.

I love Instagram it’s where I get so much inspiration.. meet with countless creative souls and also share my own photos & art.

Today I found myself at the Instagram account of Roma Downey. She posted a photo of her close friend Della Reese who recently passed.. It’s of a keepsake printed for family and friends as they came together to celebrate her life..

I’ve loved and admired both these women because of the tv series “Touched by an Angel”. Anyway I left a comment on the post saying something like “You will see her again one day.. but I know it’s hard to wait ❤️️.”

Not long after she liked my comment..

ATM there is over 3,000 comments and I don’t know how many were there when I posted but to even try to respond to so many is amazing..

Anyway what was most amazing is that I felt that exact moment in my heart.. I literally felt something touching my spirit when I saw a message pop up on my phone that Roma liked it..

I stood there a moment hand to my heart and experienced a real connection which is hard to explain but there’s an awareness of a connection with Roma’s spirit at that exact moment.. Heaven moving inside you l really don’t know how to explain it.. but it feels exquisite..

Once my feet touched the floor again I had to immediately go back and share that because something tangible was happening.. Roma is grieving.. it’s hard to say goodbye to someone we love no matter how many lovely memories and times we share.. you just miss their presence..

I just hoped that sharing that small moment might do the same and comfort her heart.. of course not even knowing if she’d see it..

Spirit transcends our grief, time barriers and also distance in some amazing way.. Amazingly she did see it!!

Snap shot of what I shared and Roma’s response below.. 😍 I realise re-reading it I spelt Della’s name wrong 😩.. somehow though Spirit & Angels work though our imperfections too.. we really do need to see the heart sometimes because flesh so easily err’s..

Also a digital art piece I did because of all this.. Using a photo of my own angel statue from my art desk.. It’s like a pictorial black out poetry piece except I’ve blocked out pieces of the photo using words from items in my desk as the poem.. and added a few images to it as well.. Poem is not the right word though but I’m trying to explain how I did it.

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Prepare

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My thoughts.. Malachi 3:1

Many of the best photos I’ve taken of my family are when it’s spur of the moment.. especially when they aren’t expecting it.. When it’s just me caught up in capturing small moments anytime and anyway I can..

Posing and planning doesn’t really work best for me unless that’s what I have in mind. My kids are older and they don’t want many photos anymore and they can get really annoyed at my efforts.. So natural photos caught unawares are the best because I don’t have to plan them.. They are spontaneous.. but I do have to be ready to capture them though..

I’m so glad in life God has already done the preparing before me as I am personally very disorganised. Even when I’m aware I’m often unaware and just don’t think of things.. I get distracted so easily and I often miss the best timing because I’m so scatter brained..

Thinking about Advent and all I can think of is how unprepared I am..

I don’t often easily see God in my ordinary every day scatter brain life till the moment has passed..

Like these footprints that appear clearly to stretch out before my daughter in this photo. They definitely didn’t stand out to me beforehand till I used a photo ap and played around with it..

Now they appear almost like magic to me as a distinct trail going before us!!!

At the time the photo was taken my daughter was not seeing that trail and neither was I.. Yet we both seemed to be following it without realising..

It’s moments like this I see God best when I’m not trying.. I actually have been thinking about this word ‘Prepare’ for days and struggled to come up with anything!! Yet wasn’t till I stopped trying and just relaxed into it that the ideas started to open to me.. I did a search online for either Greek or Hebrew meaning of the word prepare in that verse lol.. Blew my mind because it actually means something different than you think.. that’s another topic altogether 🙂

Topics like this I float away on easily.. sometimes I confess I don’t come back..

Reminds me how I need not to worry about myself so much. It all still works out in the end just later than everyone else.

Like this photo because in some miraculous way I can still be in the right moment and if I work with it inspiration comes flowing with it too!

Gives one incredible hope doesn’t it!!!

For now and always.. that God is with us not just when we think about HIM or are aware but always.. AND even scatterbrains.. Miracle right here 😍..

God knows we all can get distracted this time of year and some of us worse than others.. God also knows we can so easily fail to notice HIM as we could.. yet HE has already gone before us and it’s in simple awareness we awaken to HIS presence.

Jesus says HE is the way, the truth and the life and despite everything else going on or not going on. HE has already prepared the way ahead of each of us.. The wonder is HE is the way and despite ourselves and where we might be in life or how we are.. If we will just acknowledge HIM even though we may not see or feel HIM with us.

HE leads us..

Untitled

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I can’t think of a suitable title. So ‘Untitled’ is perfect. There are no words for how I am feeling today.
I am vulnerable and weak. Apart from a very late night pickup of teenagers at an out of town party.. Running on little sleep. I have been fasting food since Friday night or rather that was the last time I ate.
Prayer and fasting. For a very close friend. My best friend. The reasons are private but this friend has been more loyal than anyone else I know. The scripture says there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. And this friend is all that. Today I could break it but I don’t want too at least not yet. The scripture “when I weak, HE is strong”… is resonating inside me right now. I feel that power too. My stomach is growling and loudly but I feel this surge and I know it’s GOD in me and that is just a little too good to want it to end. And I NEED that. My friend needs that. Our world needs that. And I can use it.. I can use the emotion the spiritual elation. That hunger for food mirrors the emptiness of my life and the crazy life of lack that dogs me. The areas that crave connection to the point I have thought at times of not existing at all in this world. Because it has felt too much to bare. Too impossibly hard to yearn for physical connection I have missed out on and fall so short with. I know even though I am a loner, a self confessed introvert I still need soul connections. I need someone else but close and deep not shallow. Yes even I need not to be alone or not feel alone.

It reminds me of a movie I watched called ‘New Moon’ when Bella misses Edward. He suddenly removes himself from her life and she is desperate for him. Absolutely lost and desolate without his presence. But she finds out when she is in danger or testing her human limits that he appears to her and she goes out seeking similar so she can see him again.

Once before in my life I relied on religion and it was everything. Form, rules, obedience and routine to ritually act out what the bible says and what others who believed were doing too, what I believed Christianity was and what was expected of me. I would attend with my family and I was desperate when I had my own family for us to all be in the building together but my than husband was not as passionate the same as me and more often than not was not with me and it felt empty and I started to feel alone even in a crowd. We didn’t share it in life or religion the same.. Often I just went religiously with my children for a long long time desperate and hungry but you just say hello I am fine instead of tell it like it is. It was hard with 5 little children to do it without help and sometimes I was so busy with the children going in and out of the service for different needs I wasn’t gaining anything at all. I have attended a church since I was an infant in my parents arms up til maybe 4 years ago. Maybe its longer :/

The point in sharing this is. When I stopped going, when I lost that huge part of my life. My desire for God was still very much there I just wasn’t able to rely on those things anymore. I had to have GOD 24/7 not just sundays and with fanfare. I had to have HIM with me always and I knew HE was there because HE said HE was and I believed HIM. I just felt the trappings were distracting me and depressing me. Cause while I sat there all I could think of was all that I was missing and it sucked.
Due to traumas I have gone through I just couldn’t fit in a service with people’s backs to me. Unable to hear what was going on (deaf) and feeling so disconnected. It felt very fake and I couldn’t do it any longer. I was also failing miserably at keeping the show going. My performance level was zip. So much mental energy at keeping my family together that had now separated. And just found myself tossing out everything that drained me and kept only the most important things close to my heart. That was in every sense of the word. Physical, mental, people etc… If it harmed me, I lost interest, it went or eventually I weeded it out. Many people weeded themselves out lol without my help. 🙂 Perhaps it was God or it was just my way to cope. I don’t know.

Spiritually though my story feels like it was just been beginning. When you are not relying on one way anymore you adapt and do things differently. You flow into a new way, a different way and Gods Spirit became my comfort, joy, peace and strength. My everything. Art became so very important too like it was my hands on and my physical way to be a part of the process so that I wasn’t just sitting numbly I was flowing and active.

Creativity in expressing myself and how my spirit was moving and flowing. It became a main way to communicate though because a majority of people in the world do not see art/spirit the way I do I lost even more contact with people. I guess the more I slipped away from outwardly living the more important it became to me and the more people lost contact with me too. I don’t blame them for not getting me anymore. I just missed what I could have with them. What I wanted with them.. Deep soul. Getting each other and not just here and there but always having it. I don’t mean I needed to be in their faces or they in mine. But there are people you don’t see but when you do see them you just pick up again where you left off. You aren’t stressed in any way by time that has passed or anything one might call as lack. You just enjoy the here and now. Why on earth can’t I find those people???

On-line was easiest it still is. People who are heart people or spiritual people get me most. And strangely even with little contact you have depth and connectivity that is amazingly satisfying but it is a different realm. Many still do not recognize it but if you are aware or even start to be aware your eyes are opened to something pretty amazing.

I guess that is why today that weakness from no food is so powerful. Because I am diverting myself away from regular patterns and relying on being full with food and that physical energy. I am not eating and I am not thinking about food, not concentrating on my physical needs. I am tapping into my spirit/soul realm and despite the growling stomach and the need to get up and feed my body.. I am aware of a force within myself that is strong and fired up and its the me I am most in touch with and perhaps 95% do not know. God with me. In me. Helping me.. Me and HIM as one yet separate…
I mean honestly that is miraculous. It is so loud and clear to me that all is not lost. HE has not left me like so many humans have. HE is beautifully present and ridiculously crystal clear when I am not physically strong or not caught up in the ‘Do this.. Be that’… just wow.

I am better able to be aware of things normally that are quiet or even absent in myself. Like even as I am typing this my clarity of events and feelings are coming together in ways which are beyond anything I have realized before. I have read about how if you can keep on this path, push yourself out of comfort zones, push through doubts, blank pages, writers block, life block, gremlins of the art world/or one might call them demons or doubts about yourself even.. Just Being…
That tell you everything you are not and repeat to you all your failures and that paralyze you from growth and improvement and just enjoying life. You reach a place where you are literally tapping into sacred ground and into the highest power.. I suppose people might flinch and say ‘New Age’ which is a no no in Christian circles but only if you throw out the baby with the bath water. It is all God, Jesus, Holy Spirit to me yet in me. HE is the one I credit but this is the miracle that the kingdom of heaven is within. So I get to be the container of the most spiritual proportions in my own unique quality. 100% me flavored lol. The fragile vessel that HE says shows HIM up best. That there I like.. I like very very much.

You wanna see GOD. Just look inside me. ❤

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Seated

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I’ve missed doing these.. Sometimes I feel like I can’t do art ‘well enough’.. so I just stop expressing myself even though I enjoy it and when I’m not doing it I’m really stagnant.. But collage on an art journal page can so easily be a place to express one’s heart & share how one feels and is easily shared with the world.. This art journal page is inspired by a recent devotional.. 

I don’t need to be afraid of my place in this world.. my rightful place is where I am, as I am.. For the kingdom of heaven is within. HE has made me to sit in the heavenly places because of what Christ Jesus has done.. so I can be at peace & enjoy doing what I love and am moved to share from this place without guilt or any fear!!! Based on Eph 2:4-6 

But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ… and hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus 

Ephesians 2:4-6

Our current circumstances don’t mean that our spirit isn’t active & divine forces aren’t at work.. In fact it is just the opposite.. Be still & know I AM God!! 

We can trust in HIM for HIS Spirit is at work because HE’s already made us to sit together in heavenly places.. To sit doesn’t emphasise needing to franticly work and be anxious does it!! It says something quite different.. We can trust God with the ‘right now’ because HIS Spirit is working in us and HE has no beginning and no end, ’tis greater than any evil and trial we face and will use all things for good.. Spirit is forever while circumstances are are temporary and can change.. 

… 

#metoo

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If I compared my story to others I wouldn’t share it at all. It doesn’t seem bad enough. It was just one moment on a night many years ago. But like other deep issues I have shared openly about in the past. Being honest and authentic is powerful and freeing and can help others as well as help me..

Too many times I have missed the boat. I have waited too long to say something and the moment has passed by. I am doing so now because others are too. It did happen and it was scary. I was lucky it was not far worse and that I woke up and could get away and that it never happened again. I felt vulnerable after wards. I often think of my own daughters and how I want to protect them maybe if they read this it will help them think about who they are with and what can happen. I hope they know they can always tell me anything. I will share with them who it was because I believe you think it cannot happen to you. But it can and it can be a shock that it can be someone one knows.

There is a time to share and a time to be silent. I think this is the time to share. Especially when many others are sharing openly too. Who knows what God can do through us sharing our stories. Who might be helped and that we might somehow open eyes to prevent things like this happening again if that is possible.

I had to search for the meaning of sexual assault because if I didn’t know I would think it was only rape.

But it also means attacks such as rape or attempted rape, as well as any unwanted sexual contact or threats. Usually a sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person’s body in a sexual way, even through clothes, without that person’s consent.” ~ From a google search.

I was 18 or 19. It is very hard for me to share this because of what actually happened and who did it. I am afraid and I don’t think it helps anyone to name this person here. I am not going to say much at all actually. But I was drinking one night with some other people and went to bed alone not far away from where the other people I was with slept.
I was living in a caravan and I am pretty sure I would have locked my door but I cannot be 100%. I do not know how drunk I was. But I was sleeping soundly so soundly I didn’t hear anything until I was woken. I woke up to find someone in bed with me and they were touching my body in very sexual ways. At first after the intital shock wore off and I guess I must have been still groggy because I didn’t freak out though I am sure my heart was racing.

I at first thought it was my boyfriend at the time; he was sleeping somewhere else close by.
I think because I was so alarmed I was too frightened to speak, so instead cause it was still dark. I used my hand to feel if it was him. Tried to recognize his body and what he felt like in the dark. My hand felt along the body up to this persons throat and I remember feeling a chain around their neck. Now my boyfriend did not wear jewelery?!? So I immediately knew it was not him. Because of the people I was with before I went to bed were not far away and this person was one of them. I recognized who it was and I got out of that bed as quickly I could and fled. I was bawling when I got to what I considered a safe place and woke up my boyfriend. I don’t remember much else. My cries woke up the other people and I had no desire to return to my caravan till the next day.

Nothing like that has ever happened again. The person who was responsible I do not know when they left the caravan and what happened to them after wards. I actually don’t think I ever saw them much again if ever. Apart from the people present I told no one else perhaps one or two others years later on. I couldn’t sleep well for a long time. Even though this person was not around I would check and recheck that I locked the door. I would sleep facing towards the door (as if that would protect me) and for a long time I couldn’t sleep easily without fearing someone would come into my caravan again.

I don’t think it was any more than that person just touching my body under my clothes and being in my bed with me and of course the shock of waking up to find this person in my bed. But I was either sleeping soundly or drunk and don’t remember anything more. I don’t recall any evidence that my body had been raped thank God.. But it is still eerie and scary that I did not hear anything (I am deaf now but back than at that age my hearing was perfect)and that I did not feel the bed move or feel the person climb into bed with me. It was a caravan double bed and I slept on the side closest to the door. There was not much room around the sides of the bed and I think the other side was attached to the wall? But I cannot remember. He was on the other side of the bed and like me had been drinking earlier and was not a small sized person. That gives me a very weird feeling but I know I did nothing to cause it. It was something that happened to me. I know other stuff since.. But I can’t say it because of what it relates too. Yes perhaps sharing this people I know will add things up or guess but if so please speak privately I just feel this is all I want to say right now. I am unfortunately fairly transparent though I am trying not to be here not to protect this person but because it is my story and that is all it is meant to be. I am not trying to make trouble for anyone but just share what happened to me.

It is something one would consider very hush hush.. And it was a long time ago I am 47 now.. I wish I could say more. But I really don’t feel I can.

I am so glad people are speaking up about sexual assault. I just hope awareness and bravery change things for everyone.

I want to thank Cristy for sharing her story today on face book. Often these days I have little motivation. Little to no direction. Though when I saw the #metoo surfacing around social platforms I thought should I share my story too? I have been thinking about it and her sharing opened the door for me to share today. To share anything these days is a miracle for me. So much has shut me down. To find something/anything these days to connect me to others is so precious beyond words. It is powerful beyond sharing what has happened. It is knowing you are not alone with what you face in this world and others bravery invites you to do the same.  I just feel empowered like I haven’t for quite some time and therefore I do not completely disappear or shut down but I have a reason and opportunity to speak up too.

To share like this when I feel so little going on in my creative life and my physical life is more like a stunted plant. It is incredibly encouraging and gives me hope for everything else. I am thanking God for HE is what keeps me going. I see all things work together for good. HE uses pain. HE uses things in our past. HE uses our brokenness.. HE uses people in our path. HE uses our gifts such as my writing and desire to share openly. So even though so much in my life doesn’t make a lot of sense. I can trust HIM to use this too.

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Buried Treasure

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I am so thankful that I won a place a while back in a course by an online artist friend called Jen Morris. Called ‘Journalling Into the Deep”.. I’ve been plodding through this course at a snails pace.. Just knowing how blessed I am to have been selected to win this 9 week course has helped me keep at it.. so very grateful.. 

To better explain I’ve been facing a life crushing lack of motivation in recent months and nothing much has sparked my soul to create so this has been a real God send..

My writing and art journal page below are my thoughts on one of the excercises.. Dealing with looking forward and using visualisation to see what my life might be like in 5 years if I didn’t use my hearts desires and dreams and left them as buried treasure.. 

** Really surprised with this one.. I don’t like my writing but I share it and let loose anyway.. I got a real inner sense of how much difference I do make.. 

I’m a total introvert.. hardly see a soul week in week out.. stay at home single mother so I’m a homebody most always.. online is where I love to be.. so I can find happiness as I am.. 

I love sharing my art journals too on Instagram/face book and I have a blog also but haven’t blogged in ages.. I think I might share this though!! Here I am!! 

I don’t get a lot of response to my sharing so there is nothing physical, as in signs that my getting less than I am, would make much difference in the world.. 

Yet as I visualised my life and leaving my treasures buried and not pressing on with the desires of my heart and the things I love to do.. I did get a real sense of it being a darker place.. a real sense of quite a negative impact not only for me but it really felt like it would impact others as well.. quite severely.. Considering my life and apparent hiddenness from the world it encourages me that my art does more than just keep me occupied..  

A quote I’ve loved in the past came to my mind.. from the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”..

Clarence the Angel: ‘Strange isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives.. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?

Find out more about Jen Morris and what she offers at her web site –  Jen Morris Creative  

Boundaries 

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I haven’t blogged personally for a little while and yesterday I really enjoyed a course that I’m doing at Brave Girl University called ‘Soul Restoration’ and it was up to the topic of boundaries. Many years ago someone I knew suggested that I read a book about boundaries but I didn’t really look into it. They thought it be good for me because of the struggles that I had at the time. 

I realized today during the course that I wasn’t able to think about boundaries in my life back than because I wasn’t feeling good about myself and didn’t see anything worth protecting. 

But today while I was reading the captions on the videos and thinking of what Melody was saying I realized that I do value myself now and this truly appears as the next step to getting my trust back to venture out into the world. 

To feeling that I will not be destroyed or struggle excessively in the process.

I didn’t value myself so I let whomever come into my soul house and disrespect me and now I have tools to change that and to help myself when I face disrespect and people who do things/say things that don’t honour my value or trigger me in not so nice a way.

I can distance myself from that person and not let that person affect me to my detriment because I trusted them into my sacred space. I no longer have to allow their behaviour to destroy me because I took it to heart and let it churn me up inside.. 

It’s so helpful and timely, especially because this class was talking about people that come in and disrespect you like narcissists and I’ve dealt with these kinds of people before and learning how to cope with them has been a major problem area and one I’ve struggled with repeatedly.

 I unfortunately play along with thier games. I dance the dance. I feel I have to be nice even though the person is in no way valuing me. 

This course is exactly what I need at this point!! 

I feel confidence building that I now have tools to help me make wiser choices and it’s all extremely encouraging because it’s like God saying to me hey I see what you’ve gone through here is some help!! 

Even though I’ve kind of felt alone with this, a couple of people know but mostly I’m alone with this. The information in my path today it’s giving me much needed encouragement that I’m not going crazy. That this is a real thing in my life and God doesn’t want me to keep being defeated & anxious by it. HE cares about me and I see it as HIS hand upon me. HE has helped me learn my value, the truth of HIS presence & HIS unending love and I’m so thankful that through my faith HE always re-enforces my worth despite my imperfections. 

I did some art journal pages on my feelings yesterday after going through the class material and I felt hope welling up inside for moving forward and not being so stuck by past experiences.

Leaving this long lonely stretch of life behind.. 

 I feel for a long time that I have had to mostly shut the world out you know cuz it’s been so hard. I’ve dealt with some really difficult people over a long period and I have not been able to cope well with that and heal at the same time. I’ve not known the next step so I retreat because I always feel I have to be on the defence instead of the offence. 

What these people said to me and how these people treated me has lived continually on in my head and heart and I am no longer giving it permission to stay inside me anymore. 

And wonderfully this teaching isn’t about other people changing because that may not happen any time soon or at all. It’s about me making decisions to keep my heart & soul safe. Not giving anything that hurts me or anyone unsafe room in my life and finding a different way to live that honours my truth & value in the world. 

I don’t have to just take it inside myself anymore I can shut the door. I can say NO MORE because I don’t like the way that I’m being treated and I can step away from it and I can put some distance between myself and that person. 

With a bit of distance I can let them be themselves and not be taking anything they say on board and I feel so empowered. It feels like I’m no longer a victim. It feels like I’m strong and and I can keep my peace, and not react to what might happen next if people still do the same stuff to me.. 

I’m filled instead by the truth about myself that I’m worth protecting and it doesn’t have to be challenged every time someone undervalues me, that it is about me because I’ve had that said to me. I’ve heard it said that it’s not about me but no it is about me and I can say I’m valuable and I don’t like this. If I don’t like how I’m treated I don’t have to just put up with it and oh my gosh I feel much more confident to go out there and find people who do care about me. 

I can say well hey that’s what you think, but I know the truth about myself.. This boundary teaching was absolutely 100% on point and exactly what I need.. I am saying thank you, thank you God so much, so much! 

I can choose what comes into my soul house I do have to take it on board. 

I thank God for this and Melody Ross!! 

Brave Girls University 

My Hope 

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Art supplies strewn across my bed. 

Thoughts chasing each other

 inside my head.

Poetry is my muse.

No tear I refuse.

This is my reality.

No need for confidentiality.

I’ve been given this life.

Unique gifts to overcome the strife.

As an artist I must but share.

Thoughts expressed laid bare.

Tender truths bleeding.

Is what a blank page is needing.

Colours & words spill

 all that I am to the page..

Not giving up I fully engage.

Opening a vault deep inside.

So freeing not having to hide.

Transparency is living whole.

God knows my heart, spirit & soul.

Trades strength when I’m weakest.

His presence when it’s bleakest.

Where I’m not given a choice.

I’m given a voice.

My hope lives on as I tell my story.

Imperfect though I am

’tis to show HIS glory.

SMP – Peacechild4

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Journey

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— Journey — Sometimes it’s easy to feel like life has picked you up and swept you along in a direction not entirely of your choosing. Both comfort and anguish, our dwellings shape us to express our true nature. To re-chart spirit in a new direction… I am an artist in my own right. Communicating.

Jesus always with me..

“Truth has no path, and that is the beauty of truth; it is living.” — KRISHNAMURTI