Category Archives: Life

My Life

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A month of paying attention August Break 2017

I Crave

I crave Art Supplies to Art Journal & create special occasion cards!!! These are some of my newest.. Copics which are expensive so a few every now and again (can refill them),  clear stamps I bought bulk through a local face book group so decided to stamp them all in a note book so I can easily see what I have.. Planner girl stamps by Angie Blom bought at Unity Stamps shipped from USA cause I got extra money around Tax time.. So thankful.. World Stamp from Riot Art on sale.. 

Stamps are forever they are my absolute favourite.. 



Vintage

I think my kids probably think I’m vintage now ha ha.. they remind me I’m nearly 50.. half a century..  

I really wish these were the ones handed down to me from my Grandma.. but alas I was given some when she passed away and as a younger woman didn’t value them.. 😦

I gave them away.. I bought these locally in recent years because they remind me of countless cups of tea with home made scones I had with Grandma and they are beautiful. 

Grandma had a tiny little kitchen but still managed to create scrumptious home cooked meals which were always served with a cup of tea in a dainty little cup & saucer.. 

Here is my Grandma Jones holding our youngest daughter Zali (who is now 16)  whom thankfully she got to meet & hold before she went to heaven. 




Lavender

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A month of paying attention.. August Break 2017 

My mother regularly grows Lavender in our garden.  I’ve always loved the smell of it. My youngest daughter bought me this heating pillow for Mother’s Day & it’s filled with it and oh my it smells so good especially when it is heated the smell is just so powerful.. 

I get terrible monthly cramps and the warmth & smell help calm and comfort me at theses times, it was a very thoughtful and useful gift.. 

Postcards

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A month of paying attention.. August Break 2017 

Postcards, family photos, invites, relatives & friends pics, magnets, niece & nephews art work, petrol vouchers.. odds and ends..The refrigerator is a great place to keep these special things.. where you see them & are reminded of them every day.. to be honest I’m not great at organisation.. So yes some things could be taken down. This is my life though.. 

As two of my children & I share a house with my parents. There are two refrigerators in our kitchen.. 

I have to laugh at my mum’s photos, you kind of expect the people to be the same when you see them again next just like in the pictures; those I don’t see often but children grow up and we all age.. ❤️

Month of Paying Attention

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Glass 

I fussed over this because I did not know what I could photograph that was glass and make it interesting.. than late yesterday afternoon I had to run my daughters’ friend home and passed our local lake. 

The Glass House of course.. famous for housing Begonia’s; we even have a festival for them around March.. Sorry the pic is a bit dark.. our last month of winter but Spring soon.. Had to wait till the wind blew the Australian Flag enough so it showed!! 



My Eyes

I don’t like close ups.. my eyes are hazel green.. more hazel than green.. I was really fatigued so yeah EVERY line and EVERY year of my age 47 shows on my face 😩


A month of paying attention

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Away for a few days so playing catch up. Posting pictures every day of August.. this is for the 3rd of August to today the 5th of August. See earlier posts for link with more information.. 

Roses are not in season/bloom in our part of the world. 

Roses
Would a rose by any other name still smell as sweet? 


Where I live 

Winter starkness.. Two children & I house share with my parents; Uncle lives in a camper van on the property too.. I’m a single mother on a disability pension.. So it means my family have more money to spend.. overheads are much cheaper.. We live at the back of this house which is a big house.. sharing kitchen & laundry.. my parents live at the front.. 

Bicycle 

Visiting oldest son with youngest daughter who lives in Melbourne for a few days so this was taken today on our little break away.. Lots of city people ride bicycles & I couldn’t help getting a bit of street art in too because this suburb of Fitzroy is well known for it. 

Gold

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A month of paying attention during August via Susannah Conway. 

August Break 2017 – links to other blogs taking part. 

Today’s word is ‘Gold’ and what better golden beauty than bright yellow daffodils stretching up towards our winter sun.. They remind me Spring is coming & warmer weather.. I had to capture the clouds too because they were wispy & feather like. 

August Break 2017

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A month of paying attention.. Found at Susannah Conways blog. Link below. Joining in with many others around the world who are sharing on Instagram & thier blogs too and the idea is to simply take a photograph every day for the whole month of August. 

August Break 2017

Here is mine for today..  

Prompt is — Morning — 

And it had to be taken fairly quickly because my daughter had high school and we were running a bit late.. I’ve added the months prompts here if anyone interested in joining in. 

— Frosty morning. No matter the season morning always welcomes the bird life. Last month of our winter here in Victoria Australia.  — 


Falling Upward

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“What passes for morality or spirituality in the vast majority of people’s lives is the way everybody they grew up with thinks…
Without very real inner work, most folks never move beyond it.”

“Falling Upward” Richard Rohr

For me personally moving in a different direction to a majority I grew up with has been an incredible and life changing learning experience.. no safety net here.. I didn’t realise how conditioned I was.. it’s scary, confronting, learning to trust God alone often without props, learning true spirituality.. everything is tested that you once knew.. found peace & joy I never knew within the walls of institutional church.. I get to know the real spirit of people and I basically can connect on far deeper levels.. really is a living by Spirit & truth.. I can see God working much much more clearly.. I have new vision, different vision.. I know HIM very closely because I’ve learnt to see him in the darkest night where nobody else was.. ❤️️🕊
It’s definitely not for the faint hearted.. you will unlearn everything, you will be rejected by almost everyone.. but this is where you learn God WILL NEVER EVER leave you.. you learn that you are HIS beloved..

 

Home

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I feel most at home.. Sharing my heart unashamedly and freely. But there is a risk to it. You put yourself out there and you are opening yourself up to be criticized, judged and talked about. Ha ha either become popular or unpopular or completely misunderstood. 

Yesterday I shared my heart on a topic on-line and immediately felt the latter so that I edited it quite a few times then eventually deleted it altogether. I could see it seemed what I wrote was personally aimed but it really wasn’t. I felt I had to change it even though I’d done nothing wrong.  I realise I need to be careful. But sometimes no matter what you say or how you say it someone can take it wrong.. 

So although one needs to be wise when they open up yeah if you did stay safe you may not put anything out there at all. I wonder sometimes why there has seemed such a personal negative splash back on my sharing and simply for being myself? Many people have wished I was quiet. I give sport to others. Why I can still feel afraid saying anything? If you thought about it too much you would stop altogether.

You know what? I’m still saying it 🙂 fearlessly.. Bravely..  be it with a little trepidation. 

 You’d think by sharing your heart you are actually wanting attention but that has never been the case with me. Just how I am made and I don’t have the support system around me to talk about it so I do this instead. I write and express creatively about and from my own personal experience. Perhaps it is why it appears so acutely that others feel it to the extent they think it is about them or their lives? So maybe I should not be afraid of misunderstandings but indeed see that they are showing me there is some recognition to be found in what I write. I have always felt sorta different to most. But if someone is noticing than there must be some kind of similarity at some point. Otherwise I’d be so off base they would either think I was crazy and ignore me altogether or take no notice at all. That they do says something. Though I do not like anyone thinking I’m having a go at them because its definitely not who I am or being made fun of even if it is behind closed doors. You psyche seems to pick up vibes though and you do sense the people who could be doing it. Maybe it is a God thing too?

Home for me is my every day life, being inspired by what surrounds me and by what brings me alive and I love talking about that. Keeps me going. Like right now I want to stop because of the incident yesterday because this writing seems stupid and maybe even pointless.

Home is where my spirit is and where I can be totally myself but should I be? Why am I afraid right here and right now? Why do I want to stop writing? Nobody needs to read it? Why can’t I just enjoy this? What does it matter if someone misunderstands me? I mean it happens to us all doesn’t it? I do not go out of my way to offend anybody. I live from my heart. I don’t know why others cannot see that my heart IS NOT evil. It has almost destroyed me that people thought the worst of me. But sometimes it has been that various people have been jealous and I do not know why? Maybe that I can do this? Talk about myself, feelings, express it openly? I do not know. I am not going to stop though I never have. This is where I live, brought alive through writing, through expressing ups and downs, thoughts, feelings and joys, sadnesses. Sometimes not many notice but that is ok. I enjoy doing it anyway and if you look at my art you can see I am not a perfectionist. I drink my coffee, I get things off my chest. I do some art. I tell my truth. I share my faith. I can even share my insecurities. I have gone through very hard things and thankfully they did not stop me. I have grown here. I have faced it and I have done some healing.

Home is where my heart is and where my heart is expressed I am most happy and free. I always enjoy returning to expressive writing, prompts, arts and journaling. I return to read. Return to open up my heart. Return to share it where I do also connect with others. Return to remember who I am and what matters most. Return to express life where I am always welcome even if it’s a struggle to find the words or stay and battle it out on a page. Even when I feel restricted by things that try so hard to shut me down my every word is determination to overcome my personal demons. Home because God is here and His Spirit meets me here too, no wonder I love it here and indeed I think creativity is my run too place. If the outside world is hard, I’m lonely or feeling restricted in any way. I always have this place to return too.. For me this is Home.

Manifesto

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Day 6 – manifesto

“Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep out alone under the stars. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no when you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here. Believe in kissing.”
― Eve Ensler

I want to say yes to…

Being Confident. Yes to being me in all my glory. The glory of GOD in me and it is my own personal shade of HIS glory given to all of us HIS created ones to enjoy. I see beauty in myself and for a long long time I did not. Losing fear.. Yes to personal growth!!! Yes to solitude because out of it IS coming wonderful things.

I am going to confess something to you or to myself or to whomever reads this.
Today I got some new art products. I got given birthday money early. So happy. So deliriously happy. Closing down sale in my city and everything was 50% off. So for a much smaller amount I got things I wanted and love and possibly will go back to get some more! The words on my pic are from that purchase today!!
Anyhow I came home. Sat on my bed with new things very happy. Than because of a conversation I had on-line with a friend the happiness started to dwindle and the wind in my sales lost it’s power.. I did this sitting thing I do and have done for a long time. I lost my momentum. Unfortunately half of the day I just sort of sat and whittled away time till at least Zali my daughter came home from high school. Ohhh I am a little ashamed to say that.. I could have been doing art half the day or anything else constructive instead of right now last thing at night.
Tonight I have finished off a picture I started yesterday with reference to the above days prompt. Actually I was mailed the wrong prompt lol so I adapted to this one today which is the right one. They both fit. That’s just how art is in my life these days. Flows in just about any direction I am facing.
The way this picture came about isn’t by sitting and thinking about what should I do. I just saw the picture on the back of a ‘Frankie’ magazine and thought I love that I am going to have a go at drawing it. Had I sat and thought about it I might have given up. But when I started it I just kept at it. The background wasn’t even a blank page it was a pink page already created to journal on.

I kept going though. When I got up to drawing the butterfly I was like ‘How am I going to make it look authentic, there are too many little details to draw?.’ But I just kept going because I do not want it to be exact but a representation of it and I don’t think I ever would have got it the same any way. The original pencil lines were fainter so I could go over them till I was reasonably happy with the shape. Then I just defined the lines and colored it in. Created with Faber Castell Gelatos and I am surprised at myself that I have so much more confidence. I can’t really say it was one course or another that taught me this. More a variety of artists and just doing what I love to do; I went here and there and artists always say keep at it. Make it something you regularly do. Draw, write, paint etc but do it daily and don’t be anal about it just keep at it. Embrace the process. If you don’t like it keep going and work at it, don’t give up. Kelly Rae Roberts is the one who helped me to press on even if I didn’t like what I was creating.

Go by your intuition. The picture that I chose to draw just so fits my life. I have gone inward. I have focused more on spiritual inward life. I have experienced deep peace. Butterflies have featured in my art and writing before. New life.Completely different life. Light. Wings. Flying on wings.. Spirit. Confidence was my word for the year last year. I don’t have to think much about creativity I just know what words to use instinctively and it is all meaningful to me and to my life and how I live. That to me is a miracle especially when I sit for a great deal of the day and find myself vegetating. It is the straight path GOD promises to people who trust Him and do not worry about trying to understand.

Incredibly personal and meaningful and I love what I have done.. I am happy with it. And last little note is the bright red lips showing through even the small part that I have underneath the butterfly signify that there is more a boldness in me. I know I know it is small. But I think therein lies some great hope and the lips ha ha show that even though my spirit speaks mostly in my creative life and my voice has been hidden it is breaking through now YE HA.
There is still SO MUCH MORE to come.. YES YES to more boldness and YES YES to more confidence!!!!