Category Archives: Family

Prepare

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My thoughts.. Malachi 3:1

Many of the best photos I’ve taken of my family are when it’s spur of the moment.. especially when they aren’t expecting it.. When it’s just me caught up in capturing small moments anytime and anyway I can..

Posing and planning doesn’t really work best for me unless that’s what I have in mind. My kids are older and they don’t want many photos anymore and they can get really annoyed at my efforts.. So natural photos caught unawares are the best because I don’t have to plan them.. They are spontaneous.. but I do have to be ready to capture them though..

I’m so glad in life God has already done the preparing before me as I am personally very disorganised. Even when I’m aware I’m often unaware and just don’t think of things.. I get distracted so easily and I often miss the best timing because I’m so scatter brained..

Thinking about Advent and all I can think of is how unprepared I am..

I don’t often easily see God in my ordinary every day scatter brain life till the moment has passed..

Like these footprints that appear clearly to stretch out before my daughter in this photo. They definitely didn’t stand out to me beforehand till I used a photo ap and played around with it..

Now they appear almost like magic to me as a distinct trail going before us!!!

At the time the photo was taken my daughter was not seeing that trail and neither was I.. Yet we both seemed to be following it without realising..

It’s moments like this I see God best when I’m not trying.. I actually have been thinking about this word ‘Prepare’ for days and struggled to come up with anything!! Yet wasn’t till I stopped trying and just relaxed into it that the ideas started to open to me.. I did a search online for either Greek or Hebrew meaning of the word prepare in that verse lol.. Blew my mind because it actually means something different than you think.. that’s another topic altogether 🙂

Topics like this I float away on easily.. sometimes I confess I don’t come back..

Reminds me how I need not to worry about myself so much. It all still works out in the end just later than everyone else.

Like this photo because in some miraculous way I can still be in the right moment and if I work with it inspiration comes flowing with it too!

Gives one incredible hope doesn’t it!!!

For now and always.. that God is with us not just when we think about HIM or are aware but always.. AND even scatterbrains.. Miracle right here 😍..

God knows we all can get distracted this time of year and some of us worse than others.. God also knows we can so easily fail to notice HIM as we could.. yet HE has already gone before us and it’s in simple awareness we awaken to HIS presence.

Jesus says HE is the way, the truth and the life and despite everything else going on or not going on. HE has already prepared the way ahead of each of us.. The wonder is HE is the way and despite ourselves and where we might be in life or how we are.. If we will just acknowledge HIM even though we may not see or feel HIM with us.

HE leads us..

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My Life

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A month of paying attention August Break 2017

I Crave

I crave Art Supplies to Art Journal & create special occasion cards!!! These are some of my newest.. Copics which are expensive so a few every now and again (can refill them),  clear stamps I bought bulk through a local face book group so decided to stamp them all in a note book so I can easily see what I have.. Planner girl stamps by Angie Blom bought at Unity Stamps shipped from USA cause I got extra money around Tax time.. So thankful.. World Stamp from Riot Art on sale.. 

Stamps are forever they are my absolute favourite.. 



Vintage

I think my kids probably think I’m vintage now ha ha.. they remind me I’m nearly 50.. half a century..  

I really wish these were the ones handed down to me from my Grandma.. but alas I was given some when she passed away and as a younger woman didn’t value them.. 😦

I gave them away.. I bought these locally in recent years because they remind me of countless cups of tea with home made scones I had with Grandma and they are beautiful. 

Grandma had a tiny little kitchen but still managed to create scrumptious home cooked meals which were always served with a cup of tea in a dainty little cup & saucer.. 

Here is my Grandma Jones holding our youngest daughter Zali (who is now 16)  whom thankfully she got to meet & hold before she went to heaven. 




Confessions 

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A month of paying attention August Break 2017

One Wish

That I could speak truthfully about everything without fear, without guilt, without shame.. Being fully myself without censoring & I’m getting there slowly.. 

Journal page created as part of a course I’m doing called [Journaling Into the Deep] by Jen Morris Creative..  clearing emotional clutter.. 



Love Notes

From my children.. whom are my life, my breath, my heart. Precious oh so precious.. So very thankful to God I am a mother.. ❤

A month of paying attention

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Away for a few days so playing catch up. Posting pictures every day of August.. this is for the 3rd of August to today the 5th of August. See earlier posts for link with more information.. 

Roses are not in season/bloom in our part of the world. 

Roses
Would a rose by any other name still smell as sweet? 


Where I live 

Winter starkness.. Two children & I house share with my parents; Uncle lives in a camper van on the property too.. I’m a single mother on a disability pension.. So it means my family have more money to spend.. overheads are much cheaper.. We live at the back of this house which is a big house.. sharing kitchen & laundry.. my parents live at the front.. 

Bicycle 

Visiting oldest son with youngest daughter who lives in Melbourne for a few days so this was taken today on our little break away.. Lots of city people ride bicycles & I couldn’t help getting a bit of street art in too because this suburb of Fitzroy is well known for it. 

Journal prompts: Goodbye 2016

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Journal prompts: Goodbye 2016


What were the most significant events of the year past? List the top three.
Definitely Zali (15) going to Japan was the biggest event. Also seeing how the money came in from family and friends that was lovely. I am so proud of how hard Zali worked towards it with her first job and doing fund raising. The whole experience I think life changing and I feel our family kind of came together and made us closer to one another.
As for the other top events. Doing the Soul Restoration course not so long ago has really helped me. Unfortunately I couldn’t finish it because I didn’t have enough money to keep enrolled but I will go back and finish. I have felt freer than in a long time. Got stuff out of inside of me I didn’t even know was there. Hard, but oh so necessary. Opened up the vault of hurt inside which I had no idea was still there as much as it was. I feel more peaceful generally, freer and I have seen the relationship with my sister change. More able to hear the Spirit I think. My truth teller.
Perhaps the other is doing the Auslan class that was a biggie for me. I was very anxious. The time with my SIL was perhaps the nicest of all. I just haven’t spent much time with any one person in the flesh like that in a long time. I really do think and hope I can continue on learning it even on my own at home. I didn’t go on with it with Lisa. The offer was there. Mainly because I don’t have anyone to practice with and it didn’t seem right to spend the money on something I wasn’t and haven’t been able to use. I don’t see Lisa either any other time. It wasn’t on my heart to do it. But I can see that it is helpful if I did meet others who learn it. Just haven’t yet.
Describe 2016 in one sentence: It was long, and at times extremely lonely and unproductive (a troubled relationship with my sister and living in the family home truly backed me into a corner) but art expression and faithful on-line friend Dustin, a good relationship with Justin and my kids have kept me alive and kicking.
This year I’m most grateful for… answered it in the last sentence. I am grateful for Dustin, Justin ha ha. Children. Amy-lisa. Art. Social Media. Blogging. Vampire Diaries. Daydreams. Coffee. Lord with me. Finding inspiration and surrounding myself with it. People who gave to Zali. Face book friends who just loved me and let me be me. Instagram. My phone. Kelly-Rae Roberts course. Soul Restoration course. People who communicate with me in a way that works for me. People who text. Zali especially who helps me with more than any other with my deafness and just helping me. She gets me and makes me cry even to write this. The times I could do good things for others.
My biggest achievement this year was… to keep going. To keep faith. Not to give up.
This year I got really excited about… Art Journaling. Cutting out. A bit of paint. Glue stick. Making pages that speak to you and you just add what speaks to you to a blank page. You can share it after wards on social media. You can share your heart and feelings and its kept me going. I was able to create a few things through the year to give people which was lovely. Combining spirituality, faith, personal opinions, struggles, truth, joy etc
This year I was most inspired by… Amylisa, Bridgette, Mandy, Avery, Jen, Dustin..
My greatest challenge this year was… Keeping focused. Lots of times I just sat. I had no motivation for anything. It is any wonder I did not shut down but I didn’t thank YOU LORD. I kinda lost contact with the outside world or it felt like it. Sometimes all I had is just my stubborn faith and nothing more.
I need forgive myself for… shutting down. I let people or lack of people turn me almost completely inwards. Which is a blessing cause GODS Spirit is in there.. But you tend to fall through the cracks and lose the ability to communicate at all..
My biggest piece of unfinished business from this year is… There would be too many to mention. Biggest would be I am disappointed I did not journal my way through. Dear God I might even have had a best seller book by now lol. Low points make for interesting stories don’t they?? Also I think there is tons of room for me to restore relationships again. When I fell, I lost contact with so many, almost everyone.
The greatest lesson I’ve learned this year is… I am not alone. Ever. Period. And I am Approved of by GOD even if I did nothing more or all things I had done good were suddenly erased. I am still approved of by HIM.. Beloved.
How have you grown as a person this past year? How are you different this year than last? This is the strangest thing I have found out. That I through this last year can tangibly sense faith more in myself and in other people. I don’t know that I can explain it. Relying more on Spirit than flesh that’s for sure and in that realm there is expansion and freedom and joy and ease except that in this flesh realm or world. Its not the usual measuring standard. So by worldly standards I am nothing basically. But in spiritual realms I can honestly say that I am going ahead in leaps and bounds.
This year I wish I had done more… Reading. Journaling the raw stuff. I could see that the raw stuff makes a person breathe in and out more and flow better. Gets things out of them.
I wish I had done less… Playing games on my phone. Hoarding. Shutting down. Sitting. Losing myself watching dvd series or just mindlessly watching tv.
What was the best way you used your time this past year? Anything creative is always good. The few times I connected with people more than normal was lovely. When I shared my heart despite the lack of feedback and it flowed. I fist pumped every time. I am so thankful to GOD because what happens after I put it out there in the world is totally in HIS hands. There were some really great times I spent talking with Dustin. Hours went by, both present even across the world. Incredible. Family nights where I stay with Justin and the kids for a meal once a week. It has become someone to go and a kind of weekly thing. Just really nice time together. I would truly miss them if they stopped. Peace with him is a miracle. Priceless. He has actually become more understanding/patient with my hearing loss which has been surprising. Moreso than my own blood family.
If you had more time to invest in this past year, what would you do with it? Probably take that time to just remember and reflect and perhaps keep some more of that stored somewhere wether that be art wise, journal or whatever. I cannot go back but if I could I don’t think I would know how best to fill in those times anyway. I want to move forward. Leave it behind me. Live different. Invest some more in other people.
If I could redo 2016, I would… Obviously in the times I sat. I would un-sit lol and read, write, walk, tidy etc anything but sit unless it was productive.
Write a letter to the you from the start of last year. What advice would you give yourself? Talk more to GOD because you kinda gave that up more than ever before in the past. Just talk don’t try to make it more a prayer. HE listens always even if you feel you are talking to yourself. Pick up a book and read when you cannot think of anything else to do. Throw some stuff out. Art journal even if you feel like crap. Find the Soul Restoration course online and start January 1st. Lean more on the few people who are around.
If 2016 was a book, what would the title be? Name some of the chapters. She breathes. HE loves her always. Hidden heart keep speaking. Speak the truth even if your voice shakes. My Story is important. Lord with her. She is never alone.
Did you have a guiding word or guiding values for 2016? How did it serve you? How did it challenge you? Confidence was my word it hardly seems it above lol but it was a good word because if you lived according to how you feel, how others treated you, how many were around you, your circumstances, what you believed about yourself or situation, your accomplishments you would surely be defeated. But having this word under-girded me. I am confident. I got through and if I think about how difficult it was. That is a huge achievement right here. I got through.
The biggest gifts of 2016 were… Encouragement and loyalty of friends. Sun rays that appeared so often in the sky no matter what time of day I walked usually evening/afternoon. My children and unconditional love wherever it came from. Gorgeous sunsets. Parents providing for children and I. Time with Justin and the kids in any form. Found gifts here and there at op shops. Bargains that inspired me and right timing. Zali going to Japan, generosity of those who helped her and that the other children supported her. Expressive arts and art journaling. Zali’s help and knowing my heart. Seeing Talitha graduate and move out into a lovely new apartment. Seeing our relationship change what a blessing that has been. She also starts next year with exactly the job she wants in March when she is over her graduate year. That is a top year event too.. Keanu made some life changes and is happy with girlfriend Anna. Seb’s visits home are always special events and he works so hard and keeps going. Conner being here with me and becoming an adult turning 18. I am so grateful for all my children.. They are the best gifts ever. ❤ ❤

I found these prompts.. Thank you Jen..

Journal prompts: Goodbye 2016 (Jen Morris)

Facing Fear..

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DAY 23 – DAILY PROMPT:
In exquisite detail, write about your biggest fear. Dive as deeply into it as possible, explore what about it scares you, why it scares you, how it scares you, what it makes you feel when it is scaring you. Haps, if you explain it deeply enough, the power it holds over you will be loosened.
As Dumbledore once said, “fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.” Give your fear a name and sing it loud.
Biggest fear… That nothing I do makes any difference at all. Nobody notices or really cares.

I can easily do what I do quite happily. I suppose because I do not work for money. Raising children yes. But not a job perse. You feel like what you are doing is not worth anything. It’s not that I need validation though its nice when you get it. It’s just I want to feel like I matter to someone other than just being a mother, sister, aunt or friend etc.. Ok people say I care. Which I am thankful for. But in my every day life nobody is seeking me out at home. Ok I am not one to seek others out either so perhaps that cancels this need or desire out. But it is so easy to write oneself out of the big picture. One day your life will flash across a church projector and a few loving souls will stand up and say how much they loved you. To me that is lame. I understand people do it and apparently having a lovely service filled with nice memories, a line up of souls to speak beautifully immortalizes that loved one and helps people say goodbye and grieve.

But most of us need that attention in the here and now and some of us more than others. I would much rather it here and now. I have so little energy for much these days. Making myself write because it is good for me and at the very least I am saying something somewhere.

Relationships are hard work aren’t they. Yet I am loving a TV program right now. “I am a Celebrity get me out of here..” And oh boy how I wish I could do this with a group of people even a few who are blood relatives. Apart from the difficulties they face in the African jungle with heat, not much food, trials that test them, being away from familiar comforts and family. They are developing close bonds with each other because they are forced together and to make it work you have to think of the other tribe mates around you. How I wish some people I know could benefit from this sort of close living where you had to rely on each other and get to really know the other people. How it would change the distance that eludes and robs us of so much. I just see that the way we are living isn’t really connecting us.

I can understand how it feels that I am not cared for and it’s perhaps how others feel too? But how does one change things? How do you in the normal every day life get closer to each other? Sometimes people have shut doors quite clearly to me. It seems they do not really want or value or need my company. I know that works two ways. But how do you change it? How do you get up one day and show you care in a way that makes the other person feel it and start to open their heart to you?

I don’t know. I love writing and I am glad I did it today. Fear squeezes out hope and strength but also makes you have to do something to either escape it or face it. It belittles you and raises its ugly head and says nothing you do will make a difference so why waste your breath and thoughts trying. You lose face or you have a go at beating it.

To face this fear I suppose I need to do something towards others. I cannot wait for the mountain to come to Mohammad. I have to be Mohammad and move towards the mountain. Show others I am interested in their lives. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. It doesn’t mean it will come back to me but it means I have done something to bring about a change or to open a door towards inviting deeper connections.

It may not mean people ask me about my daily life, writing, art or thoughts. 🙂 It has never really been about that it’s more deeper  connections I seek. It’s funny how this fear has turned right around as I wrote about it. So that now I am facing not others or lack of others but facing myself. I am looking at what I can do to put myself in the best place for people to see that I do care. It is indeed making the difference.. Ha ha.. Full circle.. Who’d of thought that through my writing the answer would appear.

 

Dark side of me..

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DAY 11 – DIG DEEPER:
Do you ever feel like more than one person inhabits you? Have you ever tried to silence the troublesome, weird or darker side of you that makes you uncomfortable? Recall a few times when you have suppressed your multiplicity for fear of being misunderstood, singled out or rejected.

Yes it does feel like that at times. The other side of me that worries about why things are the way they are. The side that focuses completely on dark stuff. The whys? The if onlys? The one that dwells on every past rejection and short coming I have and how it all points back to big bad me. That looks at the people who do not come near me and seem to stay away. I shake my head. In those moments I feel terribly much a reject. Throwaway. Basket case.

The dark side of me would just want to stop and close up shop. The dark side of me would say to hell with all those people who don’t know me and judge me without mercy. I would not normally say that kind of thing. I am more a stand back person. Hold my tongue. Forgive. Move on. Let go. Say anything else as opposed to how I really feel. Avoid face to face in the first place. Do not focus on the problem. But the whole of me has suffered because I do not say it. Do not speak about it. Do not let it out.

The dark side of me would say ‘Fuck off’..

The spiritual side of me wants to stay positive. Even when I share it all I would NOT use swear words and I might hold back some. THIS IS A BIG CHANGE TO WRITE LIKE THIS. Why deny I feel it? I am human. I do swear sometimes. I should not be afraid to write that. Why hide it? My family do not swear. My Christian family that is do not that I can hear. Not out loud, not publicly. I could imagine what they think if they saw this. I don’t think many read what I write so this won’t be a problem for them lol unless someone else says ‘Hmm your sister or daughter or relative is umm swearing on her blog’ and than they read it because of what someone else said. Few people ask my opinions on anything. And my deafness robs me of most anything else I could say because you just don’t talk much to people when you cannot hear them and they don’t talk to you much anyway. Never very open in our family about things. Very much surface stuff. Day to day stuff. Not hardly ever a deep and meaningful. Which is probably why I rarely say anything to them or they to me. Different levels.

Yes there would be a bitter side of me. A side that would sing. “What about me? It isn’t fair. I’ve had enough now I want my share… “ etc.. The song Moving Pictures sang.. Dark side feels cheated. Yes I know I could do more. I have been told that plenty of times. But a lot has happened I have had no control over and whether people even know, care or understand how it affects you. It does affect you. Darkness is real and you do face it even if you are light dweller.

I have not intentionally silenced that side. I think in Christian terms we say we are forgiven and forgive others and that’s about it. Of course people are encouraged to tell their testimonies. How Jesus saved them.
Sorry that is a little tongue in cheek. Sometimes there is so much talk about anything else but how we are ourselves. You can almost disappear completely. We talk about what we SHOULD do right. We talk about what GOD did but not really about the worth of a soul and see that a soul faces difficulties and help them get through it to the other side. The hard stuff. It all seems to be about using it for good.. Our calling. Which is what we all want in the end. A purpose. Perfection kills I can tell you that. But talking about our stuff ups daily it seems taboo. It is like you are under a gag I guess but nobody talks about it. So perhaps that is why so few of us get to the end as we could or should. Why so many suffer so much more than need be. We judge. I judge myself. I judge others. Its what we are taught. It’s wrong. We are called least. It’s so not about us. It is all about HIM. God. And to even think about talking about ourselves. That is evil. I am being evil here now. :/

You just kind of self-destruct in private and in front of Christian counselors and mental health professionals and talk about prayer needs or GOD alone. All like-wise people celebrate that with you.. Tell the hard stuff its different. Nobody wants to see your dramas, dirty washing. Heart. Hmm.. That hurts to write that but its true. Real and raw is too messy. If you think about we base our whole relationship on JESUS getting real and messy and ugly and well he went all the way to the end and we even know the raw details and talk about that a lot. Comes to us. Nope. Let’s just gloss over it.

I KNOW what happened at the end of Jesus earthly life and what that means because it’s all we talk about. It has probably been most of what I talked about for a very very long time. But humanly speaking it’s not the after life yet and the darkness still comes every day and that is real. Sooooo lets be honest in the now!!

I can truly understand people who take their lives leaving messages for the loved ones to find. They obviously couldn’t say it alive could they and what has happened has affected them to the point they gave in completely to the darkness. It has happened a lot with me wanting to give up. I have fantasized about doing that many times. Speaking beyond the grave because I have felt so unheard even though I am alive.. Because it has got very dark, very lonely and I have felt very invisible and even though I write it over and over and over.. Nobody much reads. Even now today after years of putting my heart out there in public and persisting on and on and on..

That’s truly a bummer hey.

I think people just seem blind and deaf to the deepest heart cries because its messy. I believe faith in GOD has pulled me out of the worst of it because I talked to GOD about all the hard stuff when there was no one else to tell or that I felt I could tell.. I did not ever feel judged. I did not feel guilty or black hearted. Just loved and that GOD has immense patience and he does have very very deep and unconditional love for the black sheep, the multi colored sheep and the weird and dysfunctional sheep..

It is very much what drives me now. To speak of the darker side of me and to be honest with you: my prayers or talks to GOD might be very different too after writing this.. GOD sees it all any way.. Dark sides of us.

There is very little truly dark stuff said and it needs to be said.. But for me it is more than I have ever spoken of it before.. quite like this.

 

me

City to Outback

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DAY 8 – DAILY PROMPT:
Create an adventure. If you live in or around a city, write about your life if you were to move to the remote country. If you live in a rural area, write about your life the first day moving to the big city. The world is a big place, both extremes deserve illumination.

((Used creative license here. Took this and wrote about my past and let it flow from that.. When I went from Victoria to Western Australia at age 14 and the huge change that was to my young life and our family. ❤ ))

For a 14 year old girl oldest of 4 children. It was a move I felt forced to make. Away from friends, leaving youth group and school and my pet pony was sold.

Other side of Australia seemed like another world away. And it was. Fitzroy Crossing was in the far north west Kimberley and on the other side of the continent. The only thing I knew about it was from a small write up in a library book my mum and siblings leafed through to find. No google back than. It did not say much at all. Police station, supermarket, hospital, road house and famous outback pub! Of course the major attraction was the river! A beautiful gorge Geike Gorge was situated not far from the township and people come from all over the world to see it and cruise its banks. It became a favorite place to visit in our time there.

It was extremely isolated. It would be an over two hour travel either way to the next town and there was nothing in between.. No shops, houses or anything from the road except I did love the beautiful boab trees that were scattered along the way. Amazing trees!! One boab tree about half way to Derby was so big and hollow inside it was once used as a prison holding cell!

One road in and one road out.

Ballarat could not be more opposite. Colder, green, winter was wet and we have a bad reputation about changeable weather, populated and even though considered a rural city. It has all the amenities of a much bigger city. The floor was cold when you walked on it. You could go clothes shopping!! You had access to health care.

Fiztroy Crossing is a majority aboriginal population. I do not think I had ever met an aboriginal person before at least I did not know anyone personally! It was a complete culture shock. It was hot, red dirt, no TV, lol that was in 1984!! I did not find that out till after we arrived. I would not have agreed to that AT ALL!! If you wanted to watch something entertaining it had to be on video cassette. I remember at one point a family friend every so often passed on a box full of mostly American sitcom recorded on video. I think we watched them and nearly wore out the videos every time it was our turn to view them. It was so different not having TV. You lost contact with the outside world. Radio stations became vitally important. The weekly newspaper was flown in or trucked in and were sold out pretty quickly.

No fresh milk. It all came in frozen or powdered. There was a local bakery that made fresh bread but sometimes the local baker got drunk or his workers did not turn up so there was no bread those days. You could buy bread frozen and kept in freezers.

The houses were ugly but had lovely big verandas to help keep them cooler.. Shutter windows, floor to ceiling to capture any breeze that might pass through. Some of the houses were on stilts as the mighty Fiztroy River which in the dry season could be just pools here and there would become a raging torrent flooding its bank in wet season and the whole town was surrounded by water.. Dusty. Everything seemed coated in dust.

For a teenager it was eye opening. I had to do my school by distance education. There was not a high school at that time. My younger brother and sister went to the local school. At least they had air-conditioning! Our house did not! Stifling temps during day and even at night it was hot at least for us!! Slept with just a sheet over you. Always fans to circulate the air.

Unfortunately only 4 days into our new life we had a family tragedy. My youngest sister at a welcoming picnic after church drowned in the river.. It has tied our family to that place forever. We no longer live there we are now back in Ballarat again. My sister was nearly five years old. My parents bravely stayed on for the next couple of years. It was very hard for them. They had committed themselves to serving as missionaries up there so they kept their commitment to the local people and to God.

How did I feel as a young person? It was bewildering. Life was slower up there. They had siesta time when the whole place seemed to shut down and people rested from the worst heat of the day.
The Aboriginal people were beautiful souls but seemed reserved to me. Very respectful of our family coming through such a tragic circumstance. The local people gathered around us. We hardly knew them but they supported us through such a horrible time. I remember huge thunderstorms that frightened the heck out of us as kids. My sister and I would drag our beds into the middle of the room so we were closer. It really sounded as if the storm was right over our heads and God was up there throwing his best at us. Heavy rains. Insects. Kind black hands that we gently shook every Sunday. Songs sang in local language over and over because thats the songs they loved! Sitting on seats that pinched your legs. Dogs wandered into the church service which was in an old stone and tin building without walls. Overhead fans whirring about.. I think for awhile we were just in shock. Shock at the loss.. Shock at the different culture.. Shock at our lives changing so dramatically.

I can see the deep dark hole where my sister was laid to rest and the mound of red dirt to cover her over again once the preacher said his thing. The crowd of dark faces who turned up that day was incredible because they didn’t know us. There was a deep respect for our loss you feel that even as a young person.. My little brother clinging to my dad. He was so insecure and cried out loudly whenever he could not find my parents. All the memories come rushing back. The heat. The flies. The faces that we did not know but kindly helped us through all the transition.

City to country. Different as day and night. It taught us to love and respect native Australians, see first hand how they have survived the stolen generation, injustice and past government stuff ups and how big and unique and beautiful our country is. It taught us community. It taught us the blessings that are modern amenities. Things like not having to travel to get to a hair dresser, see a dentist, go to a big chain supermarket and department stores, see a specialist, have your baby, flying doctors for emergencies. So much we take for granted.

That even in tragedy and hardship Australia is an amazing vast continent. In city and country we are indeed a lucky country and Australians are as diverse and unique as our land.. We pull together when hard times come.

(( Jones family 1984 November. In Perth.  On the way to Fitzroy Crossing.. My little sister Belinda still alive. Brings back many memories seeing this.. ))

((Famous Geike Gorge))

((Brooking Gorge))

((My mother, sister and brother.. at the back of the Primary School when the river flooded.. ))

I see my birth, I see my death..

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DAY 2 – DAILY PROMPT: 

Describe the circumstances of your birth. Now describe the circumstances of your death. Your first moments, and your last. Show the reader how you have changed, evolved, and perhaps regressed. Show us.  

I see my birth…
My mother and father I was their first. I still have my teddy bear a gift from my Uncle. Dads only brother. My first moments wouldn’t have been in my mother’s arms because they didn’t do that than. Weighed on a cold metal scale on scratchy paper, measured, dressed and handed to my mother. Cloth nappies.. Cleaned up. Dark hair.. 

I know my parents were young. My mother only 20. Younger than I was when I had my first. I know I was loved. Fathers weren’t supposed to be in with the mothers for the birth but I think my Dad was with my Mum. Wrapped in hand knitted bunny rug.

Doctor Faull was present in some capacity and continued caring for me till I had my own babies and saw them in the growing up years, that made him feel like family too. He was just starting out his career when I was born. The hospital has since changed. The rooms where I was born no longer exist they were pulled down. That makes me feel old. My mother was protective. Her childhood had not been really easy. My parents would have prayed for me daily and still do. I still live in the same town I was born in. I know both my grandma and nana would have visited. I never experienced having a grandpa alive. 

I see my death…
I will be with my children and remaining family members surrounding me. Hopefully with a man by my side who I have loved and enjoyed for the other half of my life. My relatives have had mostly lengthy lives so I imagine I’m well up in years. I will need to be touched and hold my families hands. I won’t have hearing to enjoy their voices. Maybe my eyesight has dimmed. Just to be close and die peacefully with people around me who love me. I will loudly sing hymns or fav songs of years gone by.. For once in their lives they will have to listen.. Tell them to update my face book ha ha.. I will have written some fantastic parting words someplace 🙂 or made a video to speak from the hereafter.. I’ve already told them to bring my body late to the church because I’m always late so why should I be different in death.. They will have a lot of crap to get rid of… They will miss me but I know I am loved and they know they are loved.. 

I think many prayers over the years might change the hearts of some and ohh how I will cry and laugh to see who is there by my side.. Perhaps things that have driven people crazy about me will become much more precious.. I will be wanting to go see baby Tyler in heaven.. And younger sister Belinda.. And others who have gone before.. And most importantly to see Jesus face to face.. 

………….

Because I believe in life after death I have learned that things on this earth are not as soul destroying as they appear and have whole different meanings in the spiritual realm. We will know things than that will change everything.. Faith to me will bring forth the spiritual harvest I have sown many tears over.. I truly believe so much of my life hinges on the very small presence I have here and now but in that realm with HIS glory added too is more than I can imagine and will see my dreams come to life as a celestial Disney land ha ha what a day. So many promises that I have yet to see fulfilled. 

It’s the hope that drives me on.. Keeps me going.. Soothes my soul over petty things that in light of eternity will be as opposite as night and day.

  

Ode to Socks

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I’m in so many groups but I’m keeping this one up. Poetry prompts for 365 days of the year. Doing these as often as I can.  This was a fun one and yes these are our family’s odd socks in pic..

Don’t ask lol.. Prompt was about Twins where the first line and last lines were the same. Socks. Twins. Odd socks that once were twins.. My crazy mind uses it imagination. Stretches me. Keeps my brain active and creative spirit alive and kicking..

Ode to Socks

Where are thou oh sock
the mystery is making me cross..
You’ve disappeared into thin air
and left us with dross.
Where once there was a wearable
matching pair.
Now frustratingly only one sock
means a foot remains bare..
You’ve not turned up in any place
the family does look..
Not to be found high or low, in any
cranny or nook..
Nobody can remember when you
were last seen..
All we know is that you were taken
off in hast as unclean..
Between than and now a magical
force has mysteriously zipped you
away..
One sock washed, dried and found
& the other gone astray..
You’ve been sucked away by an
unworldly unseen menace..
For all we know you could now be in
Rome or in Venice!!
Unfortunately this is not the first
time for this dirty sock thief..
The vortex that sucked you far away
has left similar trails of grief..
A whole bag of lonely socks in the
laundry quite disturbing..
If all the socks came back it be
raining socks from the laundry to
curbing..
So here is my heart cry about our
strange sock loss..
Where are thou oh sock the mystery
is making me cross..

 

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