Category Archives: Book

Holy Foolishness

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Ohh how good it feels to get to writing again. It is like meeting up with an old friend who is so welcoming and yet patient to sit with me and hear all my news even before they have said a word!!

Sitting on my bed in my bedroom has always been a thing for me. And now it is enforced to stay at home with the current lock down due to a virus that is highly contagious and extremely dangerous in our world. For an introvert it is less a trial then for many but still you know it means a freedom of going to normal places is no longer mine. When I started writing this it was Friday pay day and there was nowhere to go. I like op shops.. Coffee.. Art stores. Visiting my children or doing things with them. Not doing those things does feel very strange.

So writing for me and art for me is a beautiful escape that I am freer today to take but also a way to communicate and find my flow. It is also very spiritual to me and a way to talk about my faith and share how it helps me.

This writing today is based on an ebook I recently bought on sale called “Illuminating the way embracing the wisdom of Monks and Mystics” by Christine Valters Paintner.

Only a couple of dollars on sale I bought a few of her books! The saint that inspired my writing today is Francis of Assisi.. The heading of the chapter says 1. Francis of Assisi: The Fool. Where I got my title for this blog post. Foolishness part. Im not going to go into the story so much of who he was and his life calling but he does stand out to me because he did things differently and lived a quite radical life and very differently to how the church of his day conducted themselves.

In his own words.. “I do not want to hear any mention of the rule of St Augistine, of St Bernard, or St Bendadict. The Lord has told me that he wanted to make a new fool of me.” He lived in a way that seemed foolish to the way of the world.

One of the quotes I highlighted

“To be an outcast means that we don’t align ourselves with the dominant way of thinking.

Francis was a man who loved living on the ‘edges of things. Rejecting power, prestige, and wealth, he found freedom and joy in the simplicity of his path. Walking away from security he found new purpose. He demanded we look at the world differently. Seeing that everything in our lives is alive with sacred presence all we need is to see things anew.
He preached to men and to creatures.. Spoke of a new way to follow the gospel. He was drawn to those living on the margins, the poor and destitute and was unafraid to touch the untouchables.

Another quote from the book.. “The Russian church has a special name for saints who are regarded as holy fools: yurodivi. These are the wild souls who wittness to other possibilities.

Bible says. “We are fools for the sake of Christ” Cor 4:10

I choose to worship God differently and it does look foolish when you do things differently. Seek God differently and do things in a different way to the majority. You can appear to be an outcast and I have been treated that way and I do get that to an extent. So I identify with Francis in some ways. One needs to learn humility to walk different paths because you will stand out and be called out for it and people have stayed away from me. I have found it testing not to criticize others for their choices but stick to my path and walk it with as pure a heart as possible. I don’t always want to be defending my path or speaking in such a way that offends others but I cannot stand still and feel shame or frustrated because then I go nowhere and you can wander in the wilderness feeling that outcast status instead of saying God here I am which way now. Teach me and use me here as I am for the greater cause no matter that it has cost me to be different. To be misunderstood. To walk a path before You that isn’t the same as majority. Help me to walk upright and unafraid and with courage and love.. With my heart focused on YOU and peace and living that out despite others around me thinking I am lost, rebellious and hard hearted.. Help me to believe that there is a greater purpose and what may seem foolish to many actually can be intensely holy and beautiful and precious.

I created a mandala.
Named it Holy Foolishness.

Which the book encouraged. My focus on thinking about Francis of Assisi what I knew his life to be like, what had risen in my heart/spirit as I read the chapter. My own playfulness. Freedom that we all have before God.. As the scripture says. Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in our time of need. We have freedom.

There is a fear involved with creativity. Feel selfish. Frivolous. There are those that see things like this lead to evil practices that do not lead to God but away. Open doors to other forces all sorts of things like this. To me I do not want fear to rule me or keep me from enjoying things that make me happy and from looking up because I do look up doing art and creativity. To me I tried not to think too much and just let my spirit be free.. Whatever colors came to me and it looks like a shield to me.. Faith shield thing.

I use an ap on my phone to create it. Now I am going to see what meaning I can gather from what I created because I did it freely and without thinking.. just flowed with it. But I love that what I find through simple art can have such profound and deep meanings!!!

I started with dark blue and purple. Dark blue for spirit and purple for honoring Gods kingdom and His rule over the earth as highest authority. Dark green for earth and life of mankind. Various browns for humility, earth, humanity, life, earth creates life. Then I went to pink which I consider represents creative spirit and I started to bring that in from the edges. I didn’t learn creativity through religious teachings but from outside artists and art in general and since I have walked this creative journey I am hearing now churches have artists in church doing art while the preacher preaches that is pretty cool.. Creative Spirit has brought me out of myself and made me have to think of why I do this.. What it means to me and what God is doing despite difficulties.. It has caused me to value beauty and truth and made me focus on God within and gifts HE has given to the world and especially me which makes it all the more personal.

When you no longer follow a certain way of doing things and step away from it.. Everything changes. I mean suddenly you are not relying on that. So this art is making me think of God in a whole different way such as I have had to do when I was not worshiping every Sunday the way the mass does.
The pink became hot pink, hot pink to me is pink, red and purple combined pink creativity, red blood carries life and Jesus blood purifies us, purple Kingdom.. all combined.. its wonderfully bright and stands out to me and gave the centre of my mandala like a power punch and its a great feeling to be alive and thriving and happy and that flows from the centre of being or spirit.. Source of beauty and brightness and spiritual richness and it just blossoms and from out of the abundance of the heart it touches and transforms everything.. God always, always, always centre of my life and what I see life in general to be. Because of Him who is the master creative. I create. I enjoy. It makes even the deaf find a way to communicate..

I access His Spirit which is one with my spirit within me as the kingdom of heaven is within so I guess that kind of explains why when I worship in spirit and truth that I do not miss the physical aspects of how I used to worship. I mean the Kingdom of God is within so every person today who is NOT in the building are all joined together in spirit all over the world and that will never change wherever they are doing their thing. I am part of that. My mandala exercise encourages me that no matter how ‘general minds of mankind come together at any time ’ the truth of it is He is creator of life and He is the same yesterday, today and forever and He created us and His Son came so that all of us could know the truth and be a part of it.

I mean Francis of Assisi might not have been looked a part when he lived as he lived different to the way the church conducted themselves in his day yet He was a great well loved saint of God and is our brother through Christ.
I do not have to fear evil or being evil because God is the centre of my being. The corner stone of the church and our salvation. There has been fear that someone who works differently or walks differently has not the spirit of God.. But God does not look at the outward but He looks at the heart at the core of a persons being. When JESUS came to earth HE is the head of body and He himself did many things different to the way the religious leaders were and He was crucified for it. Thankfully though being Gods son he saved us from ever being rejected again because he was rejected for us.

We are all apart of that body now because of Jesus. My Mandala exercise began with the Holy Spirit dark blue at the beginning of time brooding over the waters, I acknowledged the Kingdom of GOD as the one that reigns and everything else good comes from that and stems from that. I see beauty and purpose, and identity and all is connected through JESUS who is the Christ. That is what I see in this creative exercise and I believe Francis of Assisi went forth from that same Holy Spirit and lived the way he lived because He drew his power from God and was not afraid to be even foolish to the world but to those whom he ministered too they saw Gods likeness in him. So I name it Holy Foolishness because to some it will appear that way but not to all who walk in freedom and live unto God not just living via the order of the day.  Father God said there would come a day when people lived by Spirit and truth and that is what He seeks.

I think as I sit here on a Sunday that God is with me. I am thinking on Him and I am going to share my thoughts. I am considered perhaps different because I am not in a building or watching a video produced by a building of people for a time on earth when even church buildings have closed their doors but I hope that our ideas and constrictions of what is of God are magnified and blown apart and our thinking might be expanded in this time of physical isolation for the Holy Spirit is NEVER restricted and connects us all because He is eternal and lives beyond human fragilities and works in us even despite what is considered foolishness. I think the building is us where we humans are and as we are and there has never been a greater time then this for the walls to come down and Gods mighty power through us to bring heaven to earth. How much more right now do we globally need that power at work in us weaving us together strong and beautiful, human and holy and as one people under God!

Falling Upward

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“What passes for morality or spirituality in the vast majority of people’s lives is the way everybody they grew up with thinks…
Without very real inner work, most folks never move beyond it.”

“Falling Upward” Richard Rohr

For me personally moving in a different direction to a majority I grew up with has been an incredible and life changing learning experience.. no safety net here.. I didn’t realise how conditioned I was.. it’s scary, confronting, learning to trust God alone often without props, learning true spirituality.. everything is tested that you once knew.. found peace & joy I never knew within the walls of institutional church.. I get to know the real spirit of people and I basically can connect on far deeper levels.. really is a living by Spirit & truth.. I can see God working much much more clearly.. I have new vision, different vision.. I know HIM very closely because I’ve learnt to see him in the darkest night where nobody else was.. ❤️️🕊
It’s definitely not for the faint hearted.. you will unlearn everything, you will be rejected by almost everyone.. but this is where you learn God WILL NEVER EVER leave you.. you learn that you are HIS beloved..

 

A poem I wrote – Infant loss

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I am currently doing a free 6 week course at Future Learn called Literature and Mental Health via the University of Warwick. Current topic is “Speaking words we can’t find”. Asked to share – Are there any pieces of literature – old or modern, prose or poetry – that speak to you in the way that Katherine Philips’ poem speaks to Paula?

We have  been studying a poem by Katherine Phillips she wrote on the loss of a little baby boy which remarkably was written in the 1600’s.

I have also lost an infant baby boy. So this study is very very close to my heart. I was given a miracle of peace by God when I lost our baby infant back in 1997 which changed my whole life. For some strange reason I was easily able to talk about it too at the time but very few around me were available to me to listen to the extent I needed. So one day I got out my electric typewriter and decided to write about everything. I guess I just imagined I could do that all in one sitting. lol it isn’t possible of course. I eventually wrote 29 chapters.

But it is wonderful the very first thing I wrote was a poem. It was just a small piece of writing to lead into the actual main piece of writing which was the first chapter and so on. It was a miracle I wrote at all because I had three other little children to raise at the time I started and it came remarkably easy and I had never written a book before or since. I will add the link to this blog post to the university comment section to share it with others there but also because it was straight from a grieving mothers heart and I just see that it helped me to get it out, to see it in written form and others have been helped by it too. I have not edited it, it is the exact same form I wrote it. The very first thing I wrote before I typed up what is now the entire story. It doesn’t even have a title it was just the leading paragraph at the very start. To introduce the story. Again it is a miracle also this poem began it all because at that time I HAD never written poetry before either.

I have even kept it in the form first written. because as I have been learning in the course, the written form is also part of how we express our emotions etc.. It is religious in nature because my faith was exactly what was helping me through. All based on a miracle of peace from God through this terrible period when our baby son Tyler was born, became very ill when he was only a few days old and died at 8 weeks old from a heart/lung abnormality.

See in the address up top of this blog.. eternalpeacechild. It is all linked to what I experienced through this loss. My online name is peacechild4.

I have not ever published the book.. I did share the chapters on face book and with family and friends in written form and on a few websites but not as book form or even ebook form. Poem in bold so you know what is the actual poem..

 

I wrote this poem, a mother coming to terms with the death of my child.
I have seen much that I have had no control over. I have suffered the weight of feelings I can’t escape.

What I experienced alongside my child has survived.
So precious that I had to write this down.
Although nothing can take away what has happened.
I know throughout his life there was meaning.

If my son received the inner peace throughout that I have been given through my faith in Jesus Christ.
Then all that I saw, all that my child went through, that has produced my lack of fear to write, brings hope.

I have the calming reason to believe, that from my experience of peace. I am given assurance of how much more Tyler deserved it, and how a loving God would give all the more to him.

In my impression of Tyler’s story I endeavor to share how he received what I now hold onto.

Tyler’s Story never ends.
It just begun in a different place.



Found Poem

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I found a free sample offering of a Poetry course I am thinking of doing in the near future. I will add link below.. I do recommend the teacher she is amazing! Her name is Beth Morey! I have purchased her poetry book. “Night Cycles.”

Her book on amazon

Her free offering encouraging me to write a “found poem”. Insert below copied from her post.. find link to post below..

For our first assignment, let’s have some fun and create found poems. According to the Academy of American Poets, “Found poems take existing texts and refashion them, reorder them, and present them as poems. The literary equivalent of a collage, found poetry is often made from newspaper articles, street signs, graffiti, speeches, letters, or even other poems” (source).

I love cutting out pictures from magazines etc so this pic is from a fashion magazine and I found an old book and just cut out words and phrases here and there. Whatever took my fancy at first.. What first caught my eye was the phrase. ‘She wore the green dress’.. so I used that as the basis of the whole poem.. Hence the picture I found with a woman in a green dress.. Than built the poem around those words. Of course some words I had already cut out didn’t fit so it was a real challenge to find words to fit my pic and poem..

Put them altogether. It really makes you think about what you want to say, what the photo evokes in you etc.. Like writing a mini story..

Being a single woman. On my own a lot and a romantic at heart. I let my imagination run wild.

 

The Guide 

She was dreaming.

She wore the green dress.

he would guess mythical, romantic, carefree.

What an extraordinary girl, he thought.

He let the tranquility and mystery cloak him.

it entered, sat in his heart.

He held it there.

She wished to be unobserved.

He sat for a moment and watched her.

Yet now, unbidden.

Sank back to normality.

Hauled out of his daydream.

maybe one day.

Coming towards him.

eyes fixed with hunger

made him giddy beside her.

He sighed, waiting.

He could only watch, helpless.

the one guarding her.

he stood.

and looked out over to the west range

but the garden and surrounding grounds

remained empty of life.

 

 

The Guide

Introducing POETRY IS + Free Sample! – she of the wild

 

Big Beautiful Life Book

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DAY 28 – DAILY PROMPT: If you could be a book — what kind of book would you be? What genre, story, artwork? What story / stories would it narrate? Who would you most want it to be read by? 

Based on the previous exercises and questions, try to include your creative mission and vision in this prompt. 

((Take on it))

Big Beautiful Life Book.. 

In arty kind of groups I’ve been in one of the creative endeavours of one of the groups was a collective art book. They created a type of hand made book. Journal if you will. Sent to all the members who each contribute something to the book and passed it on. I think they had two circulating between members. Unfortunately I was unable to take part. I’m in Australia and the majority of members were in USA. Cost of sending to me and back obviously too high.. I felt so robbed but for those who shared a picture and spoke about it where I could see; what they added to the pages. I drank it in.. 

My book ( I want to keep it at the end) would be to send a big blank thick page book to as many creative people as I could. Than let it be returned to me filled with words, poems, photos, pictures, art work etc.. It would be one of a kind. I would truly treasure that book! It would inspire me no end. It could be read by anyone I met or visited with me. Use it as an inspirational talking point in my home or could carry it with me and share with whomever I met. 

Little piece of soul on every page! I wasn’t INTO art till the latter part of my life. I remember walking into an art gallery and I was flawed that I could sense the artists soul or spirits along with their work. It’s hard to explain but it wasn’t just a room of paintings. I was moved before even looking at them. There was something spiritual going on in that room. In the air around me. Senses came alive to it. Euphony of colours and feelings swirling around me.

I’m just drawn to and inspired and lifted up by all kinds of expression. Sense of connection and belonging and oneness I suppose. Sense of understanding.

My book would be life changing. I would hope that through its pages I got to know and connect with those people included and that any others who might also read it would feel the same. I would definitely hope that this book was a start to deeper connection and a wanting to know more about each person and their life works.

It might have to be a really really BIG book 🙂 you don’t have to be a certain person to write or take a photo or put down some colours.. Each page would be unique to the person who created and decorated it. 

Would I have a running theme? No just asking on the day book received and the day they sit down to contribute art that they just bring a part of themselves to the page. Whatever they were feeling or wanting to express at the time. I would be seeing what flowed in the collected end. Because often in creative types there can be a similarity if you will. Even in the uniqueness and quirks everyone has. Something that speaks to the spirit in all of us. Would be so many messages within the pages. Because everyone’s art speaks in different ways on different days to me as they would to each person who sees it. 

Maybe the book isn’t sent at all. 

Maybe it’s filled in as my life progresses. Maybe it’s something I need to start and continue till I die. I have to find people willing and able around me close first. I do think only certain people would want too because ‘the normal’ person may not be into even doing it at all. 

Most of the ‘artists’ who I’m closest too are online and with that overseas. 🙂 something to seriously think about anyway! 

Ha ha as I sit pondering where this prompt has led me. I’m thinking of creative people I know. Places in my city I could plan to visit. Searching for artists right here in my city! Amazing.. 
Let the blank page and the empty canvas lead on…. 

  

Mindfulness

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All of my writing today is based on a book I’m reading on Scribd called “The Artist’s Rule.. nurturing your creative soul with monastic wisdom by Christine Valters Paintner”

“Mindfulness” (Your teaching me how to live.)
Discipline of paying attention to “what is going on in the present moment,” which can give rise “to insight, awakening and love.” – Edward C. Sellner

Where do I encounter restlessness in my contemplative and creative life?

Not dwelling here enough. Feeling it’s selfish. Not seeing purpose for it. That it is an escape rather than a path to GOD and His purposes. Not seeing why or what it means..
Always seemed I’ve done this to myself rather than this actually being a calling of God.

What are the moments when you are tempted to run in the other direction instead of standing still and being fully present to the gifts and challenges of the moment?

It’s such an internal war. Solitary journey. Spiritual malady. (word came to me) I never use it.
I didn’t choose this path. I love art, expression, inspiration, writing, contemplative exercises and even my own company but I didn’t intend it for myself. The things I enjoy are suited to this place I’ve found myself. Not just because I’ve run here or tried to run from it.
The deafness, the isolation, the need to express myself even despite misunderstandings. It would be easy to be overwhelmed. Even heed others advice to do this or that.
But seeking GOD alone despite myself.
I’m still tempted to give up often.
Something greater keeps me going. Even people can’t distract me. Just makes me tunnel vision even more.
More determined. Even if I’ve no idea what it all means. Seems it’s a path I must walk. Not to be afraid of it. Speaking of it even now and here is perhaps the wisest thing.

Because like it or not this is my reality.

“Here I am God.”
“Do what you will with me.”

And go do it!!! 

 

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Revelations

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The true monastery was not dependant on the enclosure of walls. It was rather, a quality of consciousness or a state of heart that involved daily commitment to maintain an inner aloneness — that place where God and soul dwell in intimacy.
— Beverly Lanzetta

I’m working personally through an Ebook from Scribd “The Artist’s Rule” by Christine Valters Paintner..

Doing an exercise where I had to ask my inner monk, my inner artist three questions. These questions will initiate my quest through art of where I am currently in life and what questions I wished to ask God Spirit in me and therefore explore and express in this way.

Had to take three pieces of water colour paper and write these questions (after some contemplation) on the back. I was than to mix them up and turn them over.

Than without knowing which question was on the paper and in essence putting the questions aside for now. Using water colour paint and cut out pictures that I’m drawn too that resonate with me in a positive way and cover that paper as I felt at the time. Not to overly think it but let it flow freely.

I will add my 3 questions than the art that came about (unplanned) on the other side of the paper.. I was amazed how without knowing I was tuned somehow through my Spirit and God differently for each and yet how I’ve expressed myself and the ways I’ve done it do indeed speak to me about that particular question amazingly.. Unlike so many times before I will let me art speak for itself.

The whole process shows me God is involved with my creativity, spirit, what I’m sensing and feeling and expressing. I can see more and more messages speaking to me as I look at them and contemplate further..

First Question

How to bring out from the treasure trove inside?

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What is Gods path for me through inspiration, writing, encouragement, spirit, truth and yet still being in isolation?

The funny thing is this question seen here in my own handwriting and I have to share the way I’ve written the word “writing” it also looks like waiting… Strangely both words fit.. God is saying to me that the waiting is important enough to question.. 🙂

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What does my journey teach me?

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Ohh haven’t been been here so long..

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So to get myself back in the flow.. Post book that I’m reading that’s inspiring me today..

When my psyche takes a battering my creativity and soul just stops flowing..

Had personals trials and a teenage son struggling at school and with mental health. Just every day life can drain you..

I started a new type of journal this year that combines not just writing and thoughts but art as well. Started off well but the art and color dwindle away when my soul suffers. Thankfully I’ve pushed through with journaling.

I do tend to stay positive but that’s not the whole truth is it. Sometimes you have to let it rip lol and tell the dark moments too. Which is why the quote below touched me so deep today. Deep enough to move me here again.

I have a pile of books I dip into a little at a time lol. I so wish I could post my Goodreads book list here but I can’t make it show for some reason.

This is a very very timely quote below.. Creatives sometimes are not able to converse with everyone it’s hard to find people who talk openly about everything. Being almost deaf that list dwindle even more..

Oh how good it is to get a blog post out again..

“A healthy environment for imagination requires that emotions can come without restriction. This may not always be possible with other people around because not everyone can handle that kind of freedom.

When you find a place and people in which you can just allow your emotions to flow from an authentic place, then you have found treasure

Pattie Ann Hale from her book.. Find it on Amazon or buy it from her site..

Pattie Ann Hale – Fine Art

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Tree of Creativity

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We are altering old books for week 7 “Made Course”.

Tree of Creativity.

The book itself wasn’t that old lol but I’m a bit annoyed our thrift stores ( we call them op shops) most are not cheap. Looking at 4 or 5 dollars for old books. No way this one was one dollar. It had a sleeve/cover that I took off.
Amazingly the book is red which really fits with my whole purpose of creating this particular sort of art.

We were to go back to our past, our roots. Ha ha I went right back to the Tree of Life. How’s that for the oldest past roots I could find. 🙂
Just going to explain my art because I can. I’ve not found I can just do art and leave it at that. Picture supposed to be a thousand words and all that jazz.

I stuffed the tree up it wasn’t planned to look like that. But you know that’s our life isn’t its composed of our good times and bad times. And it was at the very tree of life mankind made the biggest stuff up of all time which affects mankind even now.

Gold symbolises perfection.. Holiness. Glory.. The tree in the garden was a tree of life but eating of its fruit gave knowledge of good and evil. I had to go back to the bible for that bit.
Its part of all our history.. Our roots.

The old book I’m altering is called “The Old Country” symbolising our past.. God has made everything new through Jesus blood and sacrifice on the cross but obviously the old still counts its still part of the whole..

Cross created out of a tree too.. Red book symbolises his blood which has rewritten history and all of time actually. Covers everything!

I pasted a ripped out page under the rainbow symbolising his promises.. Highlighting words I love and that stood out to me. Red of course because everything is covered by his blood and his love.. Amazing words but the red kinda hides it and you can’t really read the words.. Hopefully my pic you can still read them.

Just an amazing and deep process this whole project if that’s the right word taking old and making something new..

Rachel Haas was the teacher of this weeks lesson.. Amongst the course material were these words that really stood out to me..

“I can change the words”

We had to journal first about our creative journey and that meant delving into our past.. Life for us all doesn’t necessarily take us the paths we would have chosen. Our lives can be difficult and hard and restricting. It can make our retelling depressing or you can feel it has little to no value. But something about the changing of the words just sparked me inside. I began to see everything differently.
I’ve always learnt religious ways from babyhood. And creative arts and artists and people who know the truth seem freer than I ever did growing up it wasn’t till I became an adult I started to find the truth and live liberated.. Seems different.. Seems out of the box. The wonderful strange parallel of life and spirt and the kingdom of God. Unseen but more real than what can pass away that we see and live in presently.

Even doing this project I can see that we can take our own life and the life we’ve been given and change the words.

See my photo for instance.

I split my photo – 1 side black and white sad or not happy.. Other side colour happy but doesn’t really show it.. Gold around me shows we are saved completely and made righteous but obviously spirit and flesh struggle.. In this world but not of this world.

This is what saves you faith in the one who says I’m Life (Jesus) believe in me. He says the old passes away yet we still battle with it. Take eyes of faith and a heart focused on His Kingdom and unseen presence to bring it to our reality.
Frees you.. Realising that no matter how our flesh goes through life.. He has saved us. What HE has done for us saves us. The body is just where we live it out. HE is the word. HE is the life. Faith brings it into our reality.

When you know the truth you will be set free! That changes everything else and the way you live and even the words you write with your life.

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Let It Flow

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My writings starting to flow again… Blogged a few posts in quick succession but they really sprang from my inner desire to share on face book to people I try so hard to connect with on a deeper level but no matter what I write there’s so little feedback.. I wish I knew what it was I’m searching for. Why I have such a burning desire to share yet so often I struggle to say it or find a way to connect deeply to get it out with someone else, anyone else.

So so so often I’m blank. Which is a horrid feeling oh how I wish I could bounce ideas and thoughts about things with others… You have no idea how alone I am with my rambling thoughts… Which might be Gods way of getting me writing… I have been forcing myself most days to write three A4 pages which is really really hard to do…

An exercise suggested from the book “The Artists Way”.. That book is a story in itself. I bought it online as a kindle book and joined a face book group to do it with others… But I didn’t follow it through and dropped out.. Reading some of it and very spasmodically and just couldn’t get into it. Then a month ago I came across the paperback copy in a second hand shop for 5 dollars! Its screamed to me to pick it up again. Ok that’s a bit dramatic but my hungry heart for more couldn’t resist..

Most days I don’t go anywhere or see anyone and its really hard to write about nothing… I mean ok I have the every day goings on of raising kids… But to get that out normally… I just don’t have anyone to talk too about it.And the few who do its been a struggle to even talk to them for some reason about anything more than chit chat… I can only imagine its God helping me to get to the place I really need to be out of frustration etc… Its been a lonely road but if you follow my writings it’s been how God has gotten my full attention…

Its been a strange and weird path… Sitting in my bed writing this and I have art stuff, various books, papers and pens on my bed… I collect quote books, paper back books, art books, art supplies…etc the list goes on… And sigh I’ve been myself like a blank canvas… But I have even found those too.. Ha ha..

And with all this stuff inside my soul literally and nobody around to tell and the inability to tell it.. The collecting of stuff on the outside is really just a parody of what’s collecting on the inside.. Now just to find a use for it.

I can’t tell you though that I must have a gift for this. Or the Spirit is gifting me with it because I can think up words to use that I don’t even know and that I’ve never used ever. Maybe only hearing or reading of these in the past. These unfamiliar words appear when I’m writing and they mean exactly what I need to say.

To me thats God and its incredible.

I was told years ago by an English teacher I have a gift and could have gone on to university with it.

I’m going to keep up with it.. Writing and oh start to read more. But I’m distracted so easily. Terrible vice.

See the pic below. My oldest son who is a writer too gave me the film via dvd “Book Thief” and in it the word “Write” appears on a wall throughout the film. Seemed to be a huge sign to me..

Here is a canvas I’m working on also Pic below… Oh how good it is when the Spirit flows..

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