Category Archives: Art

My Life

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A month of paying attention August Break 2017

I Crave

I crave Art Supplies to Art Journal & create special occasion cards!!! These are some of my newest.. Copics which are expensive so a few every now and again (can refill them),  clear stamps I bought bulk through a local face book group so decided to stamp them all in a note book so I can easily see what I have.. Planner girl stamps by Angie Blom bought at Unity Stamps shipped from USA cause I got extra money around Tax time.. So thankful.. World Stamp from Riot Art on sale.. 

Stamps are forever they are my absolute favourite.. 



Vintage

I think my kids probably think I’m vintage now ha ha.. they remind me I’m nearly 50.. half a century..  

I really wish these were the ones handed down to me from my Grandma.. but alas I was given some when she passed away and as a younger woman didn’t value them.. 😦

I gave them away.. I bought these locally in recent years because they remind me of countless cups of tea with home made scones I had with Grandma and they are beautiful. 

Grandma had a tiny little kitchen but still managed to create scrumptious home cooked meals which were always served with a cup of tea in a dainty little cup & saucer.. 

Here is my Grandma Jones holding our youngest daughter Zali (who is now 16)  whom thankfully she got to meet & hold before she went to heaven. 




Contradiction

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Prompt – 

The Contradictions of my life include..

I had to look up the meaning of contradiction lol. I definitely love the meaning and it really does sum up the continuing story of my life.
Definitions for contradiction
Noun
opposition between two conflicting forces or ideas

One of the major contradictions has been my religion and how I live and express my faith.

If you were to scroll through my face book feed for example you might have a hard time pinning down my exact beliefs. In fact it might not show outwardly that I am much of a Jesus girl at all but anyone who truly knows me knows my heart. I have gone a different path from the outward signs and believe it or not it has not been easy. But I am getting freer.

All my life basically I have spoken, read, acted a certain way. Christian way. It is hard after 40 years to divert I can tell you. I have not thrown the baby out with the bath water at all though it may look like it. This path I have taken has unfortunately appeared to separate me from the main flock though. But like deafness which did the same this experience has changed me and helped me learn much more about God and myself than I knew and thought was possible. I know my boundaries very well but because people and distractions have been minimal Gods presence is more evident to me and I know within myself what is of me and what is not.

A living between worlds you might call it. What I always thought I knew opposed to what I am knowing and learning now because any type of survival living increases your knowledge. Truth is beautiful and it has been a huge step out of my comfort zone. Finding God via HIS Spirit with me in the here and now and that HE is always present and that I don’t need props to experience spiritual life gives me so much space but that has also meant separation from people which has been peculiar I can tell you. Still getting used to that.

The thing is it’s what you find on the edges and beyond that is so fascinating and not at all what you thought it once was. Of course it is hard, very very hard to go against the grain and live differently. The guilt oh my. The disconnection and I am deaf too so I’d honestly say it destroys you and builds you into a whole new person cause it makes for a very hard, dark, cold and lonely world when people turn their backs and nothing remains the same. You either return tail down defeated, shrivel up and die or find a whole new way to live. Spirit and Art has been my way through. I truly meet Gods Spirit in this whole process. Like a steady bubbling river always flowing and the awareness of even the smallest of details around you seem to line up and everything has deeper meaning and purpose but it appears to come at a cost you disappear off the radar. No longer can you live via external appearance and behaviour.  It has to be an inside job.

It forces you to actually think about what you believe and why you believe the way you do every single day. You are not just relying on what you are doing or what you are saying or what you have always done. You are actually thinking and in the moment every moment not just going into auto-pilot. Believe me when you are in midst the majority a lot of it is simply talking, doing and living like everyone else because that’s what you’ve been taught and you don’t realize it but every time someone affirms you who believes the same it keeps you in line. You will want to stay away from anyone outside that and that should be a warning sign because God is everywhere. We are all His children, people just do not know & realise the whole truth.

If everyone else around you is the same. It’s easy/easier to be that way especially if you only associate with similar minded people. Stop in any way doing or being like everyone else or being around people like that and suddenly you are faced with a dilemma you start to be challenged on all sides. I have been careful not to just throw everything away. I especially want to be real not fake. Such as.. if you say I am feeling fine when actually you are not.

I want what I believe to radiate out of me because it’s who I am within my heart rather than outward words or actions. Being deaf has taught me the value of looking into someone’s eyes/face, reading body language, the power of touch and just how an acknowledgment no matter how small when you can understand can change the direction of a day. I don’t want to force what I believe on someone or expect them to do what I do because its right or wrong. I especially love a quote by Rumi.

Out beyond ideas of
wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
doesn’t make any sense.

From Essential Rumi
by Coleman Barks

I want anyone to be truly comfortable being themselves in my presence as I believe God wants us to feel in His presence. Same as in this quote. I think of nature and how we don’t go out into nature and argue with it as to how the trees are planted, how the flowers grow or the sun is shining or not. We just enjoy it for what it is. To show our enjoyment we might take off our shoes and walk in the grass if it’s a nice day. Or we stand somewhere safe and watch the thunder storm or we look in awe at a mountain peak or even climb it. We spend hours walking along a sandy beach with water lapping at our toes. We gaze up in wonder as the stars come out at night. If only we could be in each others presence and just enjoy it the same. Just as we are without trappings, expecting someone to change or trying to find fault.

I feel religion is like a competition and I am always a loser. I know it is supposed to be ALL about God.. But do this or do that or don’t do this or that. Its all comparative. Least on my own with God I can totally be myself. I don’t have to put on airs and graces. He sees and knows all that other crazy stuff anyway and I can just enjoy HIM and HE me and its natural. I speak like myself and I can sing loud or crazy or cry or laugh or moan. I can just thank HIM or pray for people or my world. I also do not feel guilty because I failed in some way or another cause I know HE loves me and HE did it all perfect anyway so I don’t ever have to ever feel a failure so I can drop the ever present need to better myself.. In religious settings you cannot easily be yourself there are trappings and ways to do or not do things.. You can admit sin and all but you have to deny yourself and although I am not against change perse or focusing on God. I think those things will happen and should happen naturally and I think also when you know HIM in a real way and you know HIS love for you.. you just do different when you learn the truth and it goes down into all those difficult hurt places and you do not feel the need to pretend, put on a mask or perform..

Art-wise being spiritually expressive I am not forced, not stunted, I am free, not doing it because everyone else is doing it and I can enjoy it or even when I might be suffering in my soul I don’t know but you are dealing with it in a way that naturally heals and helps you through the release of it where your not being held accountable by people or clergy, shame, fear or judgment and its flowing out freely by choice not because you have too. It is pure Spirit.

I hear God say he is looking for true worshipers who will worship in spirit and truth. Authentically and with a whole heart I can say this is my aim.

It is another world really yet it is found within my skin and flesh. Kingdom of God is within. So why should I be trying so hard on the outside when the most important is all within? 

Falling Upward

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“What passes for morality or spirituality in the vast majority of people’s lives is the way everybody they grew up with thinks…
Without very real inner work, most folks never move beyond it.”

“Falling Upward” Richard Rohr

For me personally moving in a different direction to a majority I grew up with has been an incredible and life changing learning experience.. no safety net here.. I didn’t realise how conditioned I was.. it’s scary, confronting, learning to trust God alone often without props, learning true spirituality.. everything is tested that you once knew.. found peace & joy I never knew within the walls of institutional church.. I get to know the real spirit of people and I basically can connect on far deeper levels.. really is a living by Spirit & truth.. I can see God working much much more clearly.. I have new vision, different vision.. I know HIM very closely because I’ve learnt to see him in the darkest night where nobody else was.. ❤️️🕊
It’s definitely not for the faint hearted.. you will unlearn everything, you will be rejected by almost everyone.. but this is where you learn God WILL NEVER EVER leave you.. you learn that you are HIS beloved..

 

If my life is my art, then…

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JOURNEY: 30 Day Journal Project

Day 17

ARTMAKING

“Life is pure adventure, and the sooner we realize that, the quicker we will be able to treat life as art.”
— Maya Angelou

Today’s Journal Prompt

If my life is my art, then…  Here I am.

I did an art journaling piece for this day 17 and also wrote a poem. Taking my time with this 30 days. 🙂

Took me about 24 hours to do so. I have been participating in a free Mental health and literature university course so what I have been learning has influenced the way I wrote it. Using a rhyming parameter within the poem because I like the challenge of fitting in the content of what I want to say to a sort of guideline. I haven’t let myself get too pedantic with it because I am still learning to write but I worked with it quite a while to make it sound more the way I wanted it too and feel proud of myself I had a go.

I really don’t know what to name it lol. so atm the poem has not got a title.

The art journaling quote is actually adapted from a talk by Stephen Fry when he spoke on a video lesson from said University course above. Resonated with me. I used my own writing  to show it has personal meaning to me.

I think my art is too simple but yet the spirit in me is NOT simple and I have to get over the fear that my physical life (deafness, shyness, introversion, simplicity and lack of social skills) doesn’t restrict my spirit.

I can connect to others despite myself and still make my way in the world.

I love love love the explanation Stephen Fry shares of how an artist uses his or her craft. My heart leaps inside me to be of this kind. It is exactly what I hope and wish the time I spend, the work I put into my art be for. That this isolation I face daily, this being alone so much actually has a purpose in the whole scheme of things and my writing and art journaling is in actual fact a bridge of connection for me to walk over spiritually, mentally, emotionally etc

With this whole days prompt I have tried to describe what art means to me, how it helps me, why I do it and why it is SO important. I really am learning to define myself better and can you believe it. Use less words lol. I tend to over explain everything though. Poetry is good for condensing what you want to say.

I am trying not to be too religious rather I want that to be seen in my heart and expressions, not just because of my language and outward appearance.

But it is hard not to be. I have been religious almost all my life. So its a challenge not to put God in there as I think people want Him to be in there or even how I think HE should be in there. I want to try new things. God is always my source so I want my heart to flow from that naturally. I am rather tired of the religious trappings and it tends to stifle me too. I have learnt to bypass the way most people communicate because of deafness and I think yes unlike the parameters in my poem. I want to be anti boxed in with my spirit. I want my soul/spirit/expressions to be real and authentic and find a connection not just with religious people but all people. Everyone has a spirit. God is everywhere and HE can speak to people in many ways and I try to push the boundaries of how I express my faith.

 

Perimeter of my life.

Gauging the edges.

Authenticity from strife.

Flows beyond inspiration.

Not just a heart expressed.

Spirit healing co-ordination.

Channeling Kingdom within.

Transparent of heart.

Communication is the thing.

Breaking through cessation.

Art the portal.

Soul colored exclamation.

– Peacechild4 :SMP –

 

Home

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I feel most at home.. Sharing my heart unashamedly and freely. But there is a risk to it. You put yourself out there and you are opening yourself up to be criticized, judged and talked about. Ha ha either become popular or unpopular or completely misunderstood. 

Yesterday I shared my heart on a topic on-line and immediately felt the latter so that I edited it quite a few times then eventually deleted it altogether. I could see it seemed what I wrote was personally aimed but it really wasn’t. I felt I had to change it even though I’d done nothing wrong.  I realise I need to be careful. But sometimes no matter what you say or how you say it someone can take it wrong.. 

So although one needs to be wise when they open up yeah if you did stay safe you may not put anything out there at all. I wonder sometimes why there has seemed such a personal negative splash back on my sharing and simply for being myself? Many people have wished I was quiet. I give sport to others. Why I can still feel afraid saying anything? If you thought about it too much you would stop altogether.

You know what? I’m still saying it 🙂 fearlessly.. Bravely..  be it with a little trepidation. 

 You’d think by sharing your heart you are actually wanting attention but that has never been the case with me. Just how I am made and I don’t have the support system around me to talk about it so I do this instead. I write and express creatively about and from my own personal experience. Perhaps it is why it appears so acutely that others feel it to the extent they think it is about them or their lives? So maybe I should not be afraid of misunderstandings but indeed see that they are showing me there is some recognition to be found in what I write. I have always felt sorta different to most. But if someone is noticing than there must be some kind of similarity at some point. Otherwise I’d be so off base they would either think I was crazy and ignore me altogether or take no notice at all. That they do says something. Though I do not like anyone thinking I’m having a go at them because its definitely not who I am or being made fun of even if it is behind closed doors. You psyche seems to pick up vibes though and you do sense the people who could be doing it. Maybe it is a God thing too?

Home for me is my every day life, being inspired by what surrounds me and by what brings me alive and I love talking about that. Keeps me going. Like right now I want to stop because of the incident yesterday because this writing seems stupid and maybe even pointless.

Home is where my spirit is and where I can be totally myself but should I be? Why am I afraid right here and right now? Why do I want to stop writing? Nobody needs to read it? Why can’t I just enjoy this? What does it matter if someone misunderstands me? I mean it happens to us all doesn’t it? I do not go out of my way to offend anybody. I live from my heart. I don’t know why others cannot see that my heart IS NOT evil. It has almost destroyed me that people thought the worst of me. But sometimes it has been that various people have been jealous and I do not know why? Maybe that I can do this? Talk about myself, feelings, express it openly? I do not know. I am not going to stop though I never have. This is where I live, brought alive through writing, through expressing ups and downs, thoughts, feelings and joys, sadnesses. Sometimes not many notice but that is ok. I enjoy doing it anyway and if you look at my art you can see I am not a perfectionist. I drink my coffee, I get things off my chest. I do some art. I tell my truth. I share my faith. I can even share my insecurities. I have gone through very hard things and thankfully they did not stop me. I have grown here. I have faced it and I have done some healing.

Home is where my heart is and where my heart is expressed I am most happy and free. I always enjoy returning to expressive writing, prompts, arts and journaling. I return to read. Return to open up my heart. Return to share it where I do also connect with others. Return to remember who I am and what matters most. Return to express life where I am always welcome even if it’s a struggle to find the words or stay and battle it out on a page. Even when I feel restricted by things that try so hard to shut me down my every word is determination to overcome my personal demons. Home because God is here and His Spirit meets me here too, no wonder I love it here and indeed I think creativity is my run too place. If the outside world is hard, I’m lonely or feeling restricted in any way. I always have this place to return too.. For me this is Home.

Elizabeth Gilbert’s Creativity Workshop

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These are prompts from the the course in title I am currently doing. I seriously need prompts to get writing on the page.. The course is through Udemy online and it has captions for deaf. It was on sale over New Year. I probably shouldn’t have bought it because I have been short on cash but the sale was that good… Learning a lot through it. Like the extra prompts and resources available along with her video teachings.

What was the last think you really wondered about?

How people stay motivated and how they know what they want to do, where they spend their time and what direction to go next..
I go from here to there searching, drooling, wondering, awwing, wishing, wanting, ahhing.. Wishfully hungry for something more but never really knowing what so I sit empty minded or busy myself collecting beautiful and creative things. I do sit a lot. Not trying. Not enjoying. Just passing time and getting more annoyed with myself even though I have plenty of things I could be doing.
I do lap up art styles, free resources, people’s stories, free art videos, book after book both paper and ebook… I longingly look at people’s art, watch documentary style program’s of people telling their stories. I collect words, pictures, quotes, photos of inspiring things. I do courses when I can afford them. I love sharing my art. I like that people take note and it encourages them in their life too. I am loving that people are saying I am getting better at what I do.. The biggest wonder is. Ok I have done this poetry class, I have watched this art lesson, I have read this book etc. Now I wonder what I do with all I have learnt. Where should I spend my time and on what? I usually cannot think of a single thing and just sit with my wondering. But there are moments where it finds it way out of me into another place.

When was the last time you experienced creative flow?

Yesterday. I was busy for hours. I knew what I wanted to do. So different to my normal blocked and stagnant non-flow. I was actually sitting in someone else’s home they were watching a movie and I was just playing on my phone. Kinda just passing time and thinking about a person and a problem with that person and I thought what is the answer? I thought I could art journal my feelings instead. Than like a bolt of lightning hit I just wanted to get home and do it. There was a purposeful directive in my heart and like a pull on me to get to it.

I felt immensely happy when I got home and started. A bubbling up kind of joy. I didn’t really know how to express it though. Cause my main art expression outlet is collage. I just pulled out magazines, I have a stack in my bedroom ready to go. And started looking through them. Finding images, words etc that spoke to me. Or conveyed what I was feeling inside that for the most part is almost impossible to put into words. I was amazed how it came about actually. How I found words, images etc and that my mind was able to string them together and produce something.
Especially since for so much of my current life my brain is empty. Time passes like you wouldn’t believe. My mind is working and I am placing images and words here and there till I know it is done. For something that seems so easy it takes a fair amount of thought, arranging, changing things around on the page. It is incredibly spiritual for me. I can see other images and whole new pages can sorta pass through my mind. I see an image and I can imagine scenarios for it but put it aside for now because its not what I am wanting at this current time.
I actually came up with three pages in this flow. I was tired at the end lol. But I have collected images and words for years now so I have an abundant supply to work with for the next time and the time after that and the time after that etc. The thing about collage is the thought process and spiritual aspect of your work there is no end to it. It’s endless and I have not grown tired of it. Each finished page continues to speak to me no matter how many times I look at it. I have so many books full of my journalling and I can see my growth and development in putting the pages together. GOD speaks to me through this process so its very personal, very meaningful and doing my work lifts me out of the every day and it is very fulfilling.

That GOD’s Spirit is involved you cannot get better than that. I think actually though it is getting better. I am more able to put my heart and soul into it. I am more in tune with GODS Spirit and sensing HIM. I am starting to see more how my whole life and the world around me fits.. This flow isn’t just me there is a commonality with mankind around me. Spirit is not contained to time, geography or one type of people. There is a common ground if you can even label it that way in spiritual matters and you can find it in anyone who is a spiritul/soulful person. But it is not something you can easily explain and that is why it is so powerful, unique, beautiful and wonderful that the spirit can flow onto a simple blank page with cut outs, color and a glue stick. I think very very compelling. I see that spirit draws people to my pages.. And although I have called it work. It is play and joy for me and food. It is nourishing my inner woman.

I Thank God.. 

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I thank God every time I put a piece of art into the world.. Wether it be visual collage or writing or poetry or a blog post. 

My heart and soul for all to see. 

I do try not to make everything overtly religious. Because I want people to see beyond religion. To the soul.. spirit… heart.. beauty of life.. I want to evoke rawness.. authenticity… truth.. peace.. Always am I influenced by my faith and by Gods Spirit. I want it to be personal and free.. I want HIM to be seen in me rather than by me.. 

In person I’m not influential. I don’t try to be. But I truly desire to be seen in Spirit and I’m so thankful that I can freely share the way I do.. 

((A little different but mostly the same as I journaled)) 

Truth Matters

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Creating art via journalling/digital ap and sharing it. Also I’ve decided to write a poem about my art!! 

I’m really encouraged to post this today. Haven’t blogged in ages. A few days ago I said a difficult thing to a family member. It’s hard for me to say how I feel believe it or not. I was more worried about how she’d feel than actually being true to myself and how I was feeling. But the greatest sign that I was right was straight afterwards I was creatively inspired and it was easy. For quite some time I’ve been blank again.. Uninspired and unmotivated.. So it really has shown me the way through!! 

 It was like my heart channel was opened again. I easily completed two art pieces!! This is the third! Plus a poem!! 

The thing that surprised me also was spiritually I felt the art was more powerfully expressing in a deeper way than ever before.. This is the most exciting thing. Because you know it’s felt such a fruitless, long, lonely path. Just existing really. But to see such depth of meaning from flat, boring, blank, what seems lifeless months.. Shows me all is not lost.. I have been learning in this vacuum of what feels no mans land. 

It is absolutely true you see Gods Spirit with you most acutely in your weakest state. You know your lack well. You know all that isn’t happening.. HE is that oomph from your empty vessel.. Gives you unbelievable hope!! 

Isn’t this the reason for poetry and painting? To express what we cannot say in common language?

“Sketchbooks Lisa Sonara”

I think it’s the reason also we fall so short.. So that the rising is so much more beautiful in its unfolding.

Sometimes you can’t express yourself the way everyone else does so you choose to find another way. You might not even do things the way everyone else does or do things everyone else thinks you should do. 

Sometimes to say how you feel is not socially acceptable. It makes you look pathetic and weak instead of brave. Sometimes things happen to you and the world around you doesn’t listen or are not open to hear you.. Writing and art is my way to express what I’m feeling and I love love love doing it!! It’s a freedom that I truly don’t use enough.. 

Screaming silently.

Noiseless suffering. 

Feels like drowning.  

Beneath deep waters. 

Emotions unexpressed. 

Keep me submerged.

I must throw off restraint. 

Look fear in the eye. 

Allow truth to surface. 

Buoyant spirit to arise.

Falseness give up its deathly grip. 

Slipping away into dark abyss.  

Alive with spirit wings. 

Breaking through. 

Where naked soul is welcome. 

Where honesty is desirable.

Where fear is no more. 

Unshackled in the wind. 

Soaring in the ebb and flow.

Emphatically free.

SMP – Peacechild4

Hidden

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Now I am revealing new things to you. Things hidden and unknown to you. Created just now, this very moment. Of these things you have heard nothing until now. So that you cannot say, Oh yes I knew this. — Isaiah 48:6-7

I am reading through a book called “The Artist’s Rule” where it gave me this scripture and I am contemplating on it and learning from what stands out to me at this moment. What speaks to me. What is relevant about it to my current life.

Hidden is the word that stands out to me today. It’s like spiritually, physically, emotionally even, I’ve been hidden.

Last night God encouraged me to see that what has appeared to have happened to me is similar to David in the bible. (I was praying about people in my life.. ) 

Who had to hide from Saul. Saul had a jealous spirit and persecuted David. He tried to destroy him. Doesn’t Satan seek to steal, kill and destroy? Spirits of evil still work through people. So I get a sense it’s wise and understandable to escape from what appears to be seeking to destroy us. 

The hidden part. There have been unseen forces over the years that have come against me through people and personal situations that have contributed to where I am and how I am today. Though I have been most frustrated with the ‘unseen’ part of it. The hiding part isn’t as obvious to many. Like many are blind and deaf to what has happened to me. Or it seems it doesn’t matter.

They can really only see the results of what has happened to me. I shared openly recently about the physical struggles I’ve faced and how that has shaped me. But it’s harder I think to define the struggles with people. Very real, different people at different times but similarities in them all as to how it affects me..But also its about more than just me. Where the bible names people and situations openly where there has been persecution.. the Christian way seems to be that we hide things and don’t speak publicly about it. Heaven forbid we name people. I don’t mean shaming, unkindness etc I mean speaking truthfully and not being afraid so that we can all find healing and move forward.. Truth sets free. 

Forgive and move on is the Christian way. Turn the other cheek thing which is ok if it stops. Where I have struggled with the ‘hide it what has happened to me’ kind of thing is where it has been ongoing and subtle. Slowly slowly chipping away at me till there was less and less of my confidence. So that when and if I react it comes back on me lol instead of the one doing it.. Unmentionable and extremely cruel like a person suffering but nobody notices and that in itself destroys you the anonymity of it.. It continues on destroying as it was sent to do. Now ok for believers in God it’s spiritual not personal but that shouldn’t mean we just lie down and let people walk all over us.

This word hidden also speaks to me about being in a place where things are specifically revealed at such a time. That there is a greater reason. New information to be learnt. That’s been Gods way all along. When bad things happen, God uses it for good. I am encouraged that even David had to hide for a season or two or three… onwards till it was safe to re-enter the world normally.. All this time something evil was doing its best to shut him down..

When that word came up again today. It gives me hope. I can trust God when things are hidden. I am hidden. A reason for it and it’s ok. New things will be revealed. Treasures will come forth. By God who summons us personally!

Isaiah 45:3

I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

Spiritual Art..

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I have not blogged/written in so long. Mostly I have been art journaling or creating digital type images. I just signed up again for a digital art course. The creator was offering her art courses ‘pay what you can afford’ so I snagged a course. Art supplies are very expensive and most of whom I learn from are overseas artists. And they often use supplies I cannot easily find here or if I do they are exorbitant in price. It is most depressing I can tell. So I thought I would try digital art and see if I can produce more with ipad, aps and with the material they teach me. Thus flowing much easier. See how we go.

It is winter here so great weather for indoors activities ha ha though I am an indoor type of girl all year round.. Art Journaling glue and paste is still a big favorite. I have stacks of magazines in my bedroom!! Often pages and words spread across my bed.

I don’t have to put much thought into what I create. I just go through and pick words that speak to me and pictures that appeal to me. Than I just kind of put the pages together and its actually really easy. I think that is how Spirit flows. Its a knowledge inside you that is already there through GOD, your gifts, talents and stamped with your own personal flavour..  We just really have to believe in ourselves and be brave, learn what we can learn and go do it. Doing it is the most important thing.. 

I still can so easily just sit. I am not a great mover and shaker of the world in my physical self.
Of myself I don’t focus easy, rather sit and vegetate and not do much. I really have struggled with zero motivation for quite some time.. 😦 

This is quite strange and a deviation. But in my head last night as I slept I heard these words. “The flesh counts for nothing.”

Mine definitely doesn’t. I don’t work for a human boss. I don’t cook. I don’t socialize much. I don’t have any educational degrees or future plans of grandeur. I am not careful with the little money I do have.  Most days I do not have any plans at all.
I don’t stand out in any way physically and not many notice me. Persistence is my only super power I feel but persist at what?? 

Yet these words have obviously comforted me today because here I am writing again!! My Spirit is what will live on for eternity. My Spirit is what I will live from when I die in this flesh body. My Spirit is strong and has far more impact than my flesh because it keeps going. Ha ha you’re reading this.. I absolutely love love love doing art and sharing it. Or posting this blog and hitting publish. Or adding photos to Instagram. Sharing inspiration on face book. Yes I am love social media pretty strange isn’t it for an introverted girl. There is a freedom here that face to face I do not have. And I am not awkward here it flows.. Easily and this excites me no end. I will fist pump and thank God over and over  ha ha when I hit send. 

I can be happily creating or expressing or sharing for hours and hours and not a soul will see me except doing the family business of caring for the kids etc. They are with their dad atm. Art to my hearts content. I can share my faith. And people of all kinds seem to appreciate it. I don’t get a lot of feedback but that has not stopped me because I love doing it period.

I don’t even go to church. I cannot hear to take part I am almost deaf. Also I see things differently from main stream. The warm body is the temple of the Spirit. Rather than a building. Nothing wrong with bodies gathering though. My people gather online ❤️.. 

My dad preached today and brought me in his written notes.. Sermon notes.. Bless his heart.. And the very first scripture.. Add pic in.. 

YES YES YES.. I cannot stop doing this.. No maters the responses I get.. Just like that scripture says. Talk about the LORD.. Express the messages in my heart I believe HE has taught me. But personally not religiously.. Not thees and thous. There is a religious way of talking and going about life that I have broken away from. Not the source but the expression of it. I want to be authentic, real and not pigeon holed. You have to think about it.. It’s challenging but it’s also intimate and real life. Leaving room for interpretation. Gods Spirit is the greatest counsellor & teacher!! Not cliche’s and not impersonal. I want people to think, see that spirit life isn’t dead and uninteresting. It’s a full life and freeing and unlimited ways to express faith. 

Ok I walk different to mainstream but I think all the time on my own with GOD has changed me in a way that I see HIM and feel HIM and know HIM differently. I just want to experience HIM personally and intimately.. YOU cannot be alone with anyone for a long period of time one on one and not know them differently. 

Spirit fire burning in my bones. People have turned away because of the way I express my faith and that has given me a louder voice and sparked more persistence. Kept me praying!! 

I think because they read with their heads and not view with their hearts.

 But I am telling you there is great great freedom and great great love and out of this world knowledge. For those who will see the heart, see the SPIRIT and live from the SPIRIT and not operate in fear, from flesh or stay within boxes.. Joy and passion will be running over within.. living as they are led and the SPIRIT will speak from most anything and from anyplace and the message goes straight to the heart..