Category Archives: Art

Hearts Content

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Writing about my art expression is one thing that makes me feel very happy.
I created it without too much thought just whatever moved me today. Images I chose resonated with me and how I put it together sort of just flowed from intuition and I love that I can see so much deeper meaning in it.

I have been concentrating my last few art journal pages on using a piece of Christian art every time in my lay out. Each art lay out has been compromised of double pages. I build my lay out around the Christian art piece I’ve chosen.
First one was based on some writing off a stained glass window that I liked. 2nd one had an angel in it and this one has Jesus Christ and He is larger then life in this one. 🙂

The little human figure represents me.. As I was doing my pages I found it really hard to make the human that represents me to stand out.. It tended to be completely blending in and dull compared to the rest of the pages. But that is exactly how I myself feel in this world.. Small, hard to see and I definitely do not stand out in any way.. So I love the way these pages resonate my life, my feelings about my life, my heart, my spirit and basically how I see my world.

On one side I based it on a church or temple.. Christ on that side is central he’s seen that way in life and art and worshiped physically in the church building. His figure is large and luminous as the church exists to be all about Him and its where (we) His people gather to honor Him.. And HE is everything to me personally and He is what life and faith flow from. He is what I focus on. And then I placed myself on the other side of the page sitting on a rock. Christ is said to be a rock of our salvation.. Sitting cross legged as I often do.. On my butt.. Right where I am. Is where I believe He is. I don’t feel my life is based on anything physical that I do or contribute. I rest a lot. I sit a lot. I try to be honest about myself. My inactivity as well as my creativity.

The image that represents me. Cross legged sitting in the spiritual world showing that I am relying on God more then myself or my own physical efforts. Outside the temple/church physical building if you will. Because I have not attended for many years. But I put Jesus Christ as reaching out to me. So close. Seeing me. I am aware of Him by faith not sight or performance. And I do see him perse in my little world (her eyes are closed as she sits on her rock) but I am aware of Him by faith. I need to trust that He is there with me and focus on the Kingdom within in order to live as I do. Spirit which includes us all and is everywhere not contained and although I grew up and it is because of the “church/temple” contained within walls and ‘Chritianity’ that I learnt about Him. I am content to worship Him in Spirit and Truth and that may appear to be sitting apart and differently to the majority but I do believe the church is all of us where we are worshiping Him. For me this just means its more personal.

The darker parts.. The grey.. The rocks piled around me. Showing that it has been hard and the rocks also represent the frustrations I have had with different people and how they see and treat me and that has become like a wall around me.. Made it difficult.. Not particularly pretty or have I concentrated on making it beautiful. But rather it’s that knowledge of Christ with me always and that He knows my heart and sees me that makes all the difference and gives me strength to turn towards Him at all times. Awareness of Him that brings the growth, life and beauty to my world and even when that beauty is crushed and its difficult and impossible He’s given me a way to share my faith that blooms beyond even what I could imagine. I am looking to HIM and living with awareness of Him. Beauty is still there and I bloom and flower throughout adversity because of faith that is always empowered solely by His Spirit..

Therefore my heart can be content.. because of the content..

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Holy Foolishness

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Ohh how good it feels to get to writing again. It is like meeting up with an old friend who is so welcoming and yet patient to sit with me and hear all my news even before they have said a word!!

Sitting on my bed in my bedroom has always been a thing for me. And now it is enforced to stay at home with the current lock down due to a virus that is highly contagious and extremely dangerous in our world. For an introvert it is less a trial then for many but still you know it means a freedom of going to normal places is no longer mine. When I started writing this it was Friday pay day and there was nowhere to go. I like op shops.. Coffee.. Art stores. Visiting my children or doing things with them. Not doing those things does feel very strange.

So writing for me and art for me is a beautiful escape that I am freer today to take but also a way to communicate and find my flow. It is also very spiritual to me and a way to talk about my faith and share how it helps me.

This writing today is based on an ebook I recently bought on sale called “Illuminating the way embracing the wisdom of Monks and Mystics” by Christine Valters Paintner.

Only a couple of dollars on sale I bought a few of her books! The saint that inspired my writing today is Francis of Assisi.. The heading of the chapter says 1. Francis of Assisi: The Fool. Where I got my title for this blog post. Foolishness part. Im not going to go into the story so much of who he was and his life calling but he does stand out to me because he did things differently and lived a quite radical life and very differently to how the church of his day conducted themselves.

In his own words.. “I do not want to hear any mention of the rule of St Augistine, of St Bernard, or St Bendadict. The Lord has told me that he wanted to make a new fool of me.” He lived in a way that seemed foolish to the way of the world.

One of the quotes I highlighted

“To be an outcast means that we don’t align ourselves with the dominant way of thinking.

Francis was a man who loved living on the ‘edges of things. Rejecting power, prestige, and wealth, he found freedom and joy in the simplicity of his path. Walking away from security he found new purpose. He demanded we look at the world differently. Seeing that everything in our lives is alive with sacred presence all we need is to see things anew.
He preached to men and to creatures.. Spoke of a new way to follow the gospel. He was drawn to those living on the margins, the poor and destitute and was unafraid to touch the untouchables.

Another quote from the book.. “The Russian church has a special name for saints who are regarded as holy fools: yurodivi. These are the wild souls who wittness to other possibilities.

Bible says. “We are fools for the sake of Christ” Cor 4:10

I choose to worship God differently and it does look foolish when you do things differently. Seek God differently and do things in a different way to the majority. You can appear to be an outcast and I have been treated that way and I do get that to an extent. So I identify with Francis in some ways. One needs to learn humility to walk different paths because you will stand out and be called out for it and people have stayed away from me. I have found it testing not to criticize others for their choices but stick to my path and walk it with as pure a heart as possible. I don’t always want to be defending my path or speaking in such a way that offends others but I cannot stand still and feel shame or frustrated because then I go nowhere and you can wander in the wilderness feeling that outcast status instead of saying God here I am which way now. Teach me and use me here as I am for the greater cause no matter that it has cost me to be different. To be misunderstood. To walk a path before You that isn’t the same as majority. Help me to walk upright and unafraid and with courage and love.. With my heart focused on YOU and peace and living that out despite others around me thinking I am lost, rebellious and hard hearted.. Help me to believe that there is a greater purpose and what may seem foolish to many actually can be intensely holy and beautiful and precious.

I created a mandala.
Named it Holy Foolishness.

Which the book encouraged. My focus on thinking about Francis of Assisi what I knew his life to be like, what had risen in my heart/spirit as I read the chapter. My own playfulness. Freedom that we all have before God.. As the scripture says. Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in our time of need. We have freedom.

There is a fear involved with creativity. Feel selfish. Frivolous. There are those that see things like this lead to evil practices that do not lead to God but away. Open doors to other forces all sorts of things like this. To me I do not want fear to rule me or keep me from enjoying things that make me happy and from looking up because I do look up doing art and creativity. To me I tried not to think too much and just let my spirit be free.. Whatever colors came to me and it looks like a shield to me.. Faith shield thing.

I use an ap on my phone to create it. Now I am going to see what meaning I can gather from what I created because I did it freely and without thinking.. just flowed with it. But I love that what I find through simple art can have such profound and deep meanings!!!

I started with dark blue and purple. Dark blue for spirit and purple for honoring Gods kingdom and His rule over the earth as highest authority. Dark green for earth and life of mankind. Various browns for humility, earth, humanity, life, earth creates life. Then I went to pink which I consider represents creative spirit and I started to bring that in from the edges. I didn’t learn creativity through religious teachings but from outside artists and art in general and since I have walked this creative journey I am hearing now churches have artists in church doing art while the preacher preaches that is pretty cool.. Creative Spirit has brought me out of myself and made me have to think of why I do this.. What it means to me and what God is doing despite difficulties.. It has caused me to value beauty and truth and made me focus on God within and gifts HE has given to the world and especially me which makes it all the more personal.

When you no longer follow a certain way of doing things and step away from it.. Everything changes. I mean suddenly you are not relying on that. So this art is making me think of God in a whole different way such as I have had to do when I was not worshiping every Sunday the way the mass does.
The pink became hot pink, hot pink to me is pink, red and purple combined pink creativity, red blood carries life and Jesus blood purifies us, purple Kingdom.. all combined.. its wonderfully bright and stands out to me and gave the centre of my mandala like a power punch and its a great feeling to be alive and thriving and happy and that flows from the centre of being or spirit.. Source of beauty and brightness and spiritual richness and it just blossoms and from out of the abundance of the heart it touches and transforms everything.. God always, always, always centre of my life and what I see life in general to be. Because of Him who is the master creative. I create. I enjoy. It makes even the deaf find a way to communicate..

I access His Spirit which is one with my spirit within me as the kingdom of heaven is within so I guess that kind of explains why when I worship in spirit and truth that I do not miss the physical aspects of how I used to worship. I mean the Kingdom of God is within so every person today who is NOT in the building are all joined together in spirit all over the world and that will never change wherever they are doing their thing. I am part of that. My mandala exercise encourages me that no matter how ‘general minds of mankind come together at any time ’ the truth of it is He is creator of life and He is the same yesterday, today and forever and He created us and His Son came so that all of us could know the truth and be a part of it.

I mean Francis of Assisi might not have been looked a part when he lived as he lived different to the way the church conducted themselves in his day yet He was a great well loved saint of God and is our brother through Christ.
I do not have to fear evil or being evil because God is the centre of my being. The corner stone of the church and our salvation. There has been fear that someone who works differently or walks differently has not the spirit of God.. But God does not look at the outward but He looks at the heart at the core of a persons being. When JESUS came to earth HE is the head of body and He himself did many things different to the way the religious leaders were and He was crucified for it. Thankfully though being Gods son he saved us from ever being rejected again because he was rejected for us.

We are all apart of that body now because of Jesus. My Mandala exercise began with the Holy Spirit dark blue at the beginning of time brooding over the waters, I acknowledged the Kingdom of GOD as the one that reigns and everything else good comes from that and stems from that. I see beauty and purpose, and identity and all is connected through JESUS who is the Christ. That is what I see in this creative exercise and I believe Francis of Assisi went forth from that same Holy Spirit and lived the way he lived because He drew his power from God and was not afraid to be even foolish to the world but to those whom he ministered too they saw Gods likeness in him. So I name it Holy Foolishness because to some it will appear that way but not to all who walk in freedom and live unto God not just living via the order of the day.  Father God said there would come a day when people lived by Spirit and truth and that is what He seeks.

I think as I sit here on a Sunday that God is with me. I am thinking on Him and I am going to share my thoughts. I am considered perhaps different because I am not in a building or watching a video produced by a building of people for a time on earth when even church buildings have closed their doors but I hope that our ideas and constrictions of what is of God are magnified and blown apart and our thinking might be expanded in this time of physical isolation for the Holy Spirit is NEVER restricted and connects us all because He is eternal and lives beyond human fragilities and works in us even despite what is considered foolishness. I think the building is us where we humans are and as we are and there has never been a greater time then this for the walls to come down and Gods mighty power through us to bring heaven to earth. How much more right now do we globally need that power at work in us weaving us together strong and beautiful, human and holy and as one people under God!

Deep Speaks to Deep

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Took my time with this one I may not get through many of the Advent words in the list I’m very loosely following.. I do find it hard to stick with something and I have many unfinished art pieces to back that up.

Today’s word is Creator.. I was watching a wild life documentary and incredibly beautiful whales were swimming.. A drone captured the whales from directly above and oh my it’s what inspired this art but I couldn’t get a good photo off the TV..

I searched for an image.. and loved one I found with sun rays streaming down.. Which have been my ‘thing’ and one of the ways I’ve felt and seen God in my world.. There was a period of time when they appeared in the sky almost every time I walked.. it was phenomenal really but I don’t think anyone else really noticed this though I did post quite a few photos on social media during this time..

Most of the things that encourage me are usually just things I see daily that might only seem to be for me.. such things keep me going and although I do share so many times I’m one of the only ones really enthusiastic about it..

I didn’t trace I haven’t for awhile now.. drawing ✍️ everything myself and of course digitally it’s easier to try and retry until it looks the way you want..

God is the mighty creator of every creature and I guess it makes you think more on the wonder of creation when you create your own art.. I love love love deep things.. so the deep of the ocean where these beautiful whales are swimming up towards the light resonates with my soul.. the light beams that are HIS presence and glory and yet there they are in the depths which often I’ve experienced personally as well..

I’m AMAzed even myself with this art and I kept putting it down while working on it thinking to myself.. I don’t think I can get it right.. it’s too much work. it takes too long.. but I did keep at it. And love what I’ve created.. it’s different to the photo so even though it’s inspired by the original photo it’s not the same. I love how my creative spirit actually over takes me and helps me with how to do it and gives me ideas as to what might work.. And either though I do not know what I’m doing lol I am actually doing it..

We know environmentally world wide oceans are feeling the devastating results of pollution, the greed of mankind and the effects of global warming and whales are often hunted and it’s absolutely heart breaking. The darkness of the earth was in my mind too as I did my art.. and how I resonate with that fear of what is happening to our planet and for us as mankind re pollution and how mankind’s greed affects us all and how we prefer to destroy rather then care..

But as an artist soul you take such care when you create and it opens your heart and eyes to more of the small details… so you know that you know that you know that God the most awesome Creator of all.. Has put so much attention to detail into our world that of course He isn’t just idly sitting by and letting it all go to waste.. HE truly loves and cares for us all.. and He has always had a plan in action and we do good to dwell on that at this time of year.. Advent reminds me of the divine glory of creation and even more the absolute perfection of the earth as it was at the beginning and still we can see that beauty even now in our world.. The Master Creator and Designer has not abandoned us. We can rest when we look up to the light.. that He will take care of everything if we can keep our minds stayed on Him and live by our Spirit.. We have to keep looking up, do what we can do and treasure our world and value ourselves and the creatures and ask Him for guidance along the way.. We can trust HIM with the future..

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Divine

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Divine – Taking my time thinking on Advent.. As I pondered the word divine I immediately thought of glorious images of grand cathedrals and my favourite sun light streams from heaven.. Mountains make me think of the majesty of God and grandness of divine creation as well stain glass windows and nativity scenes turn my heart to think of the same.. All glorious things and really they make us look up in awe and turn our thoughts to the heavenly but to humanly relate in our ordinary every day and not have to trek great distances to soak it in or wait for the experience to do so..

In order to sense it and bask in divine in the every day. It bodes us well to see Gods glory right where we are.. Actually inside us!!!

I always think of God when I see little birds.. and there are scriptures on how he cares for them.. feeds them and knows when even one falls to the ground… God used birds in the bible to bring messages and do HIS work and likened the Holy Spirit to a dove descending.. Creatures are part of Gods creation and I would not want to imagine my world or life without them.. Gods Creatures enhance our lives and earth.. They bring us pleasure.. They show us HIS love and attention to detail and I love as I draw my digital paintings how I am thinking of the smaller details as well. Amazes me the intricacy of faces, the light in the eyes, the lines on the face.. The passion in humans, and the way we can enjoy our live and interact with creation.. The birds who come daily into our yards, the colour of feathers, the tiny little heart beating inside the chest of a bird and how they flit from here to there.. and can fly away at a whim.

Of course Gods presence is everywhere wether we acknowledge it or not and His glory is shown in the beauty of the earth too.. And as HE says the Kingdom of heaven is within and HE has gifted mankind with being created in HIS own image so we are very precious and indeed fragile containers of divine.. So I focused my art on drawing the divine within humanity and displaying through HIS creativity the divine presence in us and how glorious that life is.. Life is from Spirit & it’s divinity at its very best.. When we recognise God having come into the world as us, born as human like us yet HE was also God and it has all been for a greater reason.. You can find incredible hope that HE has always poured out HIS love into the earth and upon creation and because you can see HiS attention to detail. You can know that HE has always planned to reset and make new the earth and will one day. Mankind may lose its way and forget their origin and not everyone takes care of our planet, creatures and indeed value and live in such a way as to respect life and every human on this earth.. But we can find HIM and know his peace if we just choose to see the divine in HIS perfect creation and trust HIM who put the stars in the sky. When we do so it changes the way we live and walk on this earth.

We can see the divine in us and all around us. If we continue to look to HIM we do what we can and trust that he will take care of everything else.

John 10:10 I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

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IMMANUEL

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– IMMANUEL- means ‘God with us’.. This is digital art and it’s not based on my own imagination I found an image on Pinterest. My art is inspired by an image by Ryan Lone/Getty Images. I just drew a likeness in my own interpretation..

God with me has saved my life.. extremely meaningful and personal this word..

This picture could have been a drawing of a kitchen sink! Because that’s where I was washing dishes in the past when I heard in my Spirit the words..

….I will be with you always…

Along with a few other words that I have clung too ever since.. I have never forgotten hearing them. These Words are life to me.

They were given to me when I was still married & living in the family home with our 5 children..

Probably no more then a few months later.. My 18 year marriage dissolved, oldest son moved out, we decided to sell up the house etc

Everything changed.. Very difficult time for me speaking personally.

So those words coming when they did helped me know God was always with me. I believed God and they went deep within me like an anchor in a wild sea and held me steadfast.. they reminded me continually I was not alone and that God was looking out for me and HE did.. HE still does.. Something happens when you stubbornly believe..

I didn’t get angry.. I never blamed God.. I needed HIM too much nobody else could walk through with me 24/7 like HE has.. Peace became my assurance that I could trust the light in the darkness. I was comforted many many nights when tears were my constant food.

Even though it’s tens years later.. I can still find incredible strength in this promise.. and I think the peace that comes with it is even more wonderful.. Because it has not been easy.. I currently house share with my parents and I have no worldly status or career or title.. I am low income.. almost deaf now.. hearing has declined in ten years. I am still single.. only two children left at home.. More reclusive.. not particularly do I stand out in any way.

But that peace shows up HIS presence even more when I have this inner hope shining within that all the hardships have never been able to dim. I know HIM best through long dark nights. That’s when the stars shine brightest..

So the divine presence depicted here in the night sky is really HIM with me even though darkness has been more a friend to me then the light. I overcome through it all because of HIM with me.

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8

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The Word

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This is an art prompt based on Advent. Found through Instagram. First days prompt was ‘Word’

I wasn’t even going to do anything but then I saw a facebook friends photo. Which was the inspiration for my art.

I sat up took notice and this is what I commented to her photo.

*** It caught my eye today as Advent starts.. there’s a lady on Instagram who is doing a month of art prompts..first one is ‘word’.. mind if I do some art using your photo.. maybe just draw it.. I don’t of course understand why you posted it.. or if there’s some local controversy.. but that’s been mankind in general over anything everyone has their own opinions.. **

My friends Leigh’s response..

“Sharon Peart help yourself x

There’s a guy in town posts words on his fence , all different ones . I like this one for the same reason you like it 🙌🏻 he calls his are the word so make of that what you will 💗”

Photo taken in a town in Southwestern England.

It took me ages to draw and it’s not quite the same and yes has imperfections..

But I see that spiritual matters have a synchronisation about them.. I can’t help taking notice.. I do believe such things the timing and all have a deeper meaning and they fascinate me. I did want to give up as I drew cause I don’t feel my art has much purpose behind it being just for me.. I think to myself why am I spending so much time on this.. Personally though I’m always blessed when I do art expression. It connects me to express how I’m feeling.. makes me think.. makes me happy.. I sense Gods presence and it brings me joy and I love sharing it.

Maybe the man that displays these words didn’t intend them for Advent or maybe he did. How amazing is it that they had the power to move me across the other side of the world.

I like that even though they are just words they can mean different things to different people and they really stand out in an ordinary street setting.. which resonates with me personally as I hold Gods Spirit.. HIS glory within me in a very ordinary flesh body and I love sharing my faith too..

I believe God is the Word.. I believe HE is who he says.. and I’ve been helped personally by believing..

But the wonder of my believing is I can live in this current world and find GOD everywhere.. see HIM right here in this street across the other side of the world.. these words linked me to my friend, they especially make me think of God and they encouraged me to create this art.. They help me see His presence and his love for us in the everyday world and it’s comforting..

It’s the meaning we attribute to the word or is it the appearance of HIS presence filtered down in a form we can relate too?!? Every child born is created in HIS image..

May your spiritual eyes be opened this time of year like never before to see the wonder, love and be comforted right where you are and as you are.

John 1:14

The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the one and only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

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A Gentle Soul

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If you are ever going to know someone personally.
If you are ever going to see a soul.
It is in how one expresses themselves.
And no. Not in how one dresses. Or in how one spends their time.
One is seen when the heart is expressing itself freely without fear.
It’s when you can best view the essence of ones spirit.

Soul flows best when one doesn’t expect it to be one way or another but just accept it as  it is. No force is needed.. its just natural and harmonious.
When we are fully living as we are created to be it invites us all to be at peace.
We all can enjoy our own individuality but also as each takes our rightful place in the circle of life we just fit better together.

How much I have loved creating this digital painting.
I cry even writing about this.
It is a painting of my son and I love him so.
He even helped me name this art piece.
Which I will further explain.
An art piece is as much about the artist as it is about the matter or person\subject painted and it is also as much about how the artist feels about it personally.. as to how it is portrayed.

I was letting my soul/spirit paint..

This young man. This beautiful young man.. This gentle soul is my second eldest son.. Yes I know I share him with his dad too but for the sake of my personal writing and feelings I will use my instead of our.

I also want to thank GOD.. I had started this art way back maybe 2 months ago?
I stopped as I do with many things I take on.. But last night and today I picked it up again.. And I have been determined to finish it.
I got very frustrated with parts of it that I have worked on over and over for ages..
To be honest I asked God for help.. I just couldn’t get it to go the way I wished.. I do not really think I have talent perse because I am lazy and I procrastinate so I do not deserve to have that said about me. But I can see that now it is finished I am happy and God somewhere along the way has come alongside of me and helped me that is obvious. I want to honor him by giving thanks!!
I really like it now and somewhere along the way I started doing different things and kept doing and redoing them till I was happy with it and I really love how it has turned out.

I added hot pink in it to show my spirit and soul working. I added gold and orange to show GODS vitality of spirit working with me and helping me bring forth the essence.

I believe Spirit in art and life is most important. I love the abstract bright colours so they just complete the background perfectly and make Keanu kinda shine.. To me it all resonates the absolute worth of acknowledging Spirit.. I’ve experienced it right here and now doing this art and writing and it just beautifully means everything fits together perfectly even if it appears imperfect..

Keanu is a beautiful soul. And yes my mother, his grandmother and I both agree a gentle soul.

He has not had it easy this year.. He doesn’t have a job and as I am on a disability pension, single mum, don’t have a paying job and no longer have dependent children. I too am on a very low income and you just cannot do the things everyone else does.. I understand how difficult it is not having a lot of cash and what one would call a standing in the community. People do look at you differently when you haven’t got much money and can even discredit you. It affects how you look, where you go, how you interact with others and how you leave your footprints in this world and I think even how you present yourself.
It means there is only so much you can do and you tend to withdraw from everything where you do not fit, can’t afford it and which also means people need to help you financially if you wish to interact with them..

I am so thankful for souls that have been so generous with me!!!

But in general I do not focus on my outward self very much which unfortunately also means I keep my physical self absent from many but on the upside expressively speaking I see my art in the world as also my presence. That probably doesn’t count the same to many though.

I don’t just want my art piece of Keanu to be something only for private viewing so art gives me a reason and a purpose to be somewhere and sharing it a reason to show up. This is where my heart can best be found.. I freely let my soul pour out here with many words that I just do not have the same liberty or ease to share deeply with anyone in the normal physical world. I actually need this.. like air to lungs.. or water to a parched desert.

I can even take heart in the hours of pouring myself into digital art, hours spent honing my writing and working my skills into what feels like a meaningful connection even though I am sitting alone in my bedroom…

Time and emotions are my commodity which is thankfully something I do have a lot of to give and as it has always been so with my creativity it is always such a joy to share it even when sometimes nobody is here reading and very little is flowing back to me.

To share ones creative heart to me is Spiritual life and I truly hope it’s not just a selfish one sided pursuit, but that it is a continual freely giving of myself and sharing my faith which will or does do something for even one other soul.. To me it feels a fullness that never ends once it starts flowing and I think it does vibrate my essence out into the world as only Spirit can and wonderfully internet takes all that I have to offer to even the other side of the world. I can’t wait till I finally come into what is actually happening in this creative journey because God doesn’t waste anything it all means something.. I just have not been privy to much greater meaning for it on a human level apart from the joy of sharing and some looking at it online and two very supportive online friends who’ve cared about my art/heart and writing through the years.

Online is where we gentle but passionate hearts can release all that burns inside when we don’t find anywhere and anyone physically to bring it forth too or even can in such a way as to be heard and seen daily..

You cannot gain a thing from the worth of a soul in just knowing the physical body until you start interacting with them and for us introverts we can take heart here cause what we lack in physically putting ourselves out there we can focus on the spiritual and there’s no barriers here and I don’t believe it’s for nothing..

That is why I can be at peace working on bringing Keanu’s spirit into digital art form and sharing my thoughts and feelings on it via this blog and I have given him a kind of vitality and beauty of soul realm that may perhaps look more perfect of form then I meant it too. But if you look closer you will see I also worked in sort of a scribbly detail too. The scribbles keep true to my kind of messy soul and roughness of life and the way life can be too.
And you can only see them when you view it up closely.. I think true value and worth has to not just be from first glance and especially not from others opinion but rather from a deeper introspection. It is also when you do not just see and judge the scribbles as imperfection but value them as part of the whole that makes one unique and I think all the more interesting.

Worth of soul only comes from knowing where true value lies and that is where God looks too and you really do grow to a much greater depth in life to partake of it. You can draw that essence deep into yourself. Not only noticing the outward but dwelling on the richness of what really matters.. Ones greatest treasure rises from within and if we give it wings and value it.. it brings a richness to everything else I think.. It is incredibly powerful to live from Spirit because this is the realm where God says the Kingdom of heaven is to be found.. In us.. Wow!!! I guess when it all boils down I hope my art shows this realm.. This realm which flows from within us and gives us so much abundance. The true value of a soul is found here!!!

The name of the painting isn’t just because Keanu is a gentle soul. It came from a conversation we both had not too long ago..

The other day I was asking him why not approach your dad who is manager of security at our local city hospital and even other major aged care units in the city too. As manager he is responsible for many security staff and is often looking out for new guards.. Often in the last few weeks and also at various times in the past he’s had to cover shifts on top of his normal busy job as manager when there isn’t enough staff.
I know hiring family is not the done thing, isn’t encouraged at all and hasn’t been an option.. But humanly I get so fed up sometimes that Keanu really needs work and they do at times require staff and his Dad IS the Manager. So to me it seems silly to not be considered when he is always available, able to work and also needs work?!?!

Anyway he said to me recently along these lines ((as a deaf person I cannot quote word for word EVER))

“Mum security work isn’t the sort of work I am interested in…”

I am like hmmm… impatiently and loudly emphasising the hmm

Both Keanu and his father get frustrated with me cause I have asked before and haven’t yet given up asking.. lol.. Security work of course does take a certain kind of person though. Not everyone is suited..

Keanu also added..

“But Mum..

I am a gentle soul…”

Ohh… be still my heart.. Yes Lol.. Of course he is..
I am much the same myself.. He is my son after all..

I smile.. And go ahhh yes of course Keanu.. I just love that he said that… that he says that about himself. It is so important to accept such things about ourselves such as being gentle etc

So yes I do understand you have to be a certain type of person to be in that line of work and yes I do agree being in this kind of work isn’t the best for gentle souls like us and YES… my son IS indeed a gentle soul.<3 ❤

…….

Take Courage My Heart

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I wish I could just do art and not go into it but sometimes I just need to explain some more.. I do not even know what it means till I look at it after I create it and then think about it some.. then it amazes me how meaningful it is.

I rarely if ever plan.

This art piece came to me in pieces. It is based off a photo. A photo that means a lot to me and I always knew I would want to do an art piece on it since I took it but yeah ask my youngest daughter I am never in a hurry.

The photo was taken on recent holidays to the beach. Family holiday that included my mother, brother, sister, both my siblings families and also my 5 children! It was a fantastic time!

The photo was taken on the last day after we had already left the accomodation and actually it was because for once in my life I made a plan and that is how everyone came to be there… Coffee at the beach cafe together before taking off for home!

I did not notice the pigeon at the time.. my sister did and told me. It was sitting on a ledge above the coffee house tables in an outdoor area where the family was sitting.

White birds appearing have been a thing for me. I see it as an encouragement from GOD. It is incredibly life affirming and personal for me…

Now the reason this one really inspired me to take a photo, do an art piece and write about it is…
That only moments before I saw it I had sent a friend request to my sister via face book. We had not been connected on face book for quite some time and for years have had a distant relationship.. At my request.

That is not something I care to explain in full in this writing. I will just say that it was something I felt strongly I needed to do.. I did not take it lightly but unfortunately I do not think many people understood my side or my feelings etc.. it actually made my life harder in many ways.. But I do take pride in the fact I stood up against things that were hurting my soul and causing me harm.. I do believe I have healed up with Gods help and because I did not do the easy thing but stood against it God has rewarded me..

For all that I lost God gave me greater gains.. one of those things has been taking a whole new path in art expression which has really been birthed out of a long and difficult period of my life..

I have found my peace perse about it. And will add that I had for awhile desired to change things but it didn’t seem the right time and it was on this holiday I decided it was the right time..

And therefore that is why I decided to add my sister back on my face book and it was my quiet way to take a step towards reconciliation and strangely nobody has said anything at all about it since lol but that is very normal.

At this point only moments later my sister saw the bird.. I also added a small message to say that I thought we should keep the momentum of the holiday going but that it was totally her choice to add or not add me back.

I had simply done all this while quietly sitting at the table surrounded by family typing it out on my iPhone before hitting send.. It was actually quite a huge thing for me because Face book is a place where I can communicate without deafness robbing from me and it’s been my safe place..

But nobody noticed and that has been the way it has been all along.. I for the most part have had to deal with it alone.

So perhaps there is significance in this quiet and gentle way I dealt with it. Humanly I have no idea why nobody talks about such things but we just don’t.

I do not think Shell (nickname for Rachelle) would have even seen the request at the time and didn’t appear too for a little while after perhaps even the next day I cannot remember now.

The encouragement for me was almost straight after I made that deliberate choice Shell saw the white pigeon and told me.

I had seen a similar white pigeon on a ledge of the Darwin hospital way back in 2007 when baby Tyler was in NICU which encouraged me then too.. I think I was 6 floors up at that time..

So to see this bird after I made a huge personal choice to seek peace seemed to me a sign from GOD it was indeed the very right time.

So my art today is symbolic of GODS Spirit and presence with me and to me it’s absolutely crucial to inspire me to keep looking up and not at what is or what is not happening.. Seeing that HE is helping me when I most need it. And too of course that my sister showed me the white bird resonates that even our enemies will be at peace with us.. Not that I call or ever called my sister an enemy but I know the enemy of souls uses people close to us to cause us harm.. And the enemy has certainly tested me to the extreme limits through a few close relationships and it hasn’t only been testing that’s come via my sister but with myself and her it got to the point I just broke down because the spirit I struggled with in a previous close relationship was attacking me through her as well. It was too similar and I couldn’t bear up under it any more.

Definitely seeing this bird at such a time shows me HIS peace and that I can trust the decision I made.. HE has never made me feel wrong in taking the stand I did rather people made me feel wrong.. I felt peace thankfully even when so many appeared to turn their backs on me and I lost support that perhaps could have helped me find strength and fortitude much much sooner..

I was broken.. and I needed to heal.. But true healing can only really come through God alone.

But I cannot keep looking backwards and surmise as it does not do one any good.. I tend to move forward and simply let go and let God.. The sign to me I was doing the right thing at the right time even despite the hardships has always been peace in my spirit.. I have never lost that since this moment above, nor have I felt anxious! I just tend to look to God not people.

There was a light bulb lit just like this below the bird on the day and in the photo too of course.. which I so love that I can capture this in my art piece.. His light with me. His presence and also symbolic that my prayer and heart cry has always been for my light to so shine and I believe for all that has happened the darkness has definitely not overcome me!!!

A very good sign to have the light shining in this art piece and it symbolizes that GOD has always been my guide and always will be and HE will take care of all things that have not been addressed re my past and that seemed an invisible battle to almost everyone and that nobody even seems to have noticed much then or now… but I take heart that they are certainly important to HIM and I can find complete rest for all things.

And wonderfully I want to and can share it now.. even if nobody knows the greater why..

One last note.. it is also my wedding anniversary today or would have been.

29 years since I married on this very date.. 10 years of being single ohh lol.. which is not so fun.. it’s hard I get lonely.. I find it hard at times seeing others celebrating love and all that and keep it to myself now cause I do not wish to take away any of someone else’s good feelings..

I wanted to stay married but my then husband did not.. it worked out though as we were not happy together and we are better friends now.. I’m just thinking about the date today and all that it means to me.. nobody has said anything.. just me thinking so this art piece comforts me today too.. God was with me in my past, is with me now in my present, & He is also already in my future so I can cherish the peace I experience and treasure these moments in my heart and from all this my heart takes courage..

****

Delta and some lol….

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‘Delta’ is my newest art piece and it is real nice giving it a name like normal artists do.. 🙂 Also it is really fulfilling to sign my initials on my art piece too.. I get why artists do that now.

Delta is my former husbands doggie.. and she’s a fully fledged member of our family. She has accepted me as if I belonged there and that is the wonderful thing about Justin and I we are at home both together and apart. I think personally Delta was sent from heaven lol because she has just helped me heal and we all love her.

I even did some research on the meaning of her name late last night.

Now it depends where you source the name but I found on my search..

Delta

  1. the fourth letter of the Greek alphabet.  translated as ‘d’

Which resonates with me as online my name is Peacechild4

Another meaning is – a change in a figure or amount..

Change.. wow that struck me. Our whole family changed when Justin and I separated and then ended up getting a divorce.. Different homes.. different paths etc.. it did change us all. Justin’s life has also changed of recent too with surgery and he has lost a massive amount of weight (figure fits here) . He is honestly a different person now in many ways so that is a big change. I see that Delta helps him for company sake and also he loves taking her walking or rather she takes him.. She gets so excited! I do not think he could not take her now.. lol.

I see that we have all been changed by having Delta around. Unconditional love does that doesn’t it. New life.. new member of the family changes the whole family dynamic for sure.

I have truly not worked on an art piece like this ever to the intensity as this one. It is digitally drawn on my Ipad using an art ap called Procreate. I used a 6b pencil brush (with an apple pencil) for most of it I think. You can zoom in close to do very fine details and I learnt so much doing that also what not to do lol. So I am sure next time it will be quicker. I felt my intuition kicked in which is so inspiring. I wasn’t just copying but actually found myself thinking constructively about how things looked and moved beyond just seeing but to creating what I somehow knew worked and in doing so I found my own way to get it done. That surprised me.

Usually I post everything or almost everything straight to face book but I am not going to do that today. This blog post will be shared yes. But I just feel if people actually want to see this they should work a little too.. My writing is important to me too and for a long time not so much support here and I really think I need to pull back on sharing creative arts that get not much back and not because there is no attention its just that putting your heart out is tiring even when you enjoy it and when you are constantly doing it and I can be honest.. It does hurt to get little back and it makes you want to retreat and I have done enough of that .. It’s not that I expect people to read it as I find many times I too cannot be bothered with long reading sadly because I myself can go on and on lol and I think in this modern age we get used to instant and tid-bits here and there and you do need to devote time to reading longer things and be in the habit and right mindset.

I just think this creativity is work for me even though I don’t get paid and I think anyone appreciates something better if you work for it a bit lol. It makes you value the work, time spent and effort that much more.. so although there is danger in placing these thoughts further down the page where they might not be seen..  It helps me know where people are at.. myself included..

It is just that I can actually see who comes here and that is encouraging but it also helps me if people are coming to want to keep creating and THAT support is so vital to being all that I can be.. Not just that I am gaining skills but I can be given support and any support means more art and more encouragement and that is actually an important need that others can help with.. Without support many people give up I know I have pushed on many, many times with little support but everything is harder unfortunately.. I know I have struggled a lot and I do not want retreating to be my only go-to..  I have learned I need people and that people need me too and I do have something to give…

I know it is about facing the front and doing the work and I am proud of myself that I’m doing just that and especially glad there are improvements I can personally see and not just in my art but also my self confidence is growing and I am facing life differently.

One other thing I want to say as I share this art piece is I am learning so much more about GOD too.. I don’t mean to just tack this on the bottom of my writing. But all the time spent honing in on my art I forget all my concerns and I just reread my last blog post here and oh wow I have come even a ways since then..

There has of course been times since that post when I have had sleepless nights but thankfully lately I am sleeping better. Ohh what a blessing a good nights sleep is. Reading on face book I have quite a few people on my prayer list for good sleep.. it seems quite a few suffer. It truly robs you and the amount of energy you have for a normal day. I have had some nightmares at times too. I have also had to go through days and deal with anxiety which also lately has been non-existent. Anxiety truly makes the days harder when you deal with it on top of normal life.. So much more I could write but this post is about the art.. Doing the art has helped enormously. For that I am so thankful.  I did lose my joy for awhile but it is returning..

Just like with digital art you learn and I am still learning how to blend.. GOD is the master blender. HE can take two sides and bring them together like nobody else can and nothing else can. Seamlessly.. When you look at the art normally you see it one way but when you look up very closely you can see all these different coloured pixels that do not match well at least I do.. arghh lol and I have spent ages going over this art trying to get it as perfect as I could. There will always be pixels that aren’t right in my art I am afraid.. but I did the best I could despite at times not really knowing what I was doing.. You can mess up so easily but thankfully with layers in digital art you have some modern help and I love the erase and also the rewind and forward buttons.. Probably not called that in real life but you can wind back to something you previously did if you stuff up and that is immensely helpful.

At 6:24am this morning I wrote that through blending pixels in my digital art GOD was healing me.. showing me that it ok to take my time to heal and that HE knows all that isn’t perfect in my life and HE still loves me and accepts me and still calls me HIS masterpiece.. That is ok to go back and face something and then move on and let it go as if it never happened because to HIM when you face it HIS way it is finished with.. gone.. nada.. And when I was satisfied with it even with a few or more pixels not quite right.. I signed my name.. gave my art piece a name and it was done.. I am happy and it is good.

Truth bomb..

That faults happen to us all that is why HE was perfect for us so we could live imperfectly and even enjoy it.. ❤

*****

 

 

What it all means personally.

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Happy Easter..

I have not blogged in simply ages. I have been concentrating on art expression in visual ways and paint on paper or canvas ways. Today because it is considered one of the highest important holy days in the Christian calendar and as I did not attend a physical building I think it might be a perfect day to write and connect hopefully with others. When I say connect I mean others can read and respond or just read or ignore completely which probably happens more then not. 🙂 But it is my way to share this moment, on this day, on this occasion just in a different way then others share it. Except I am not confined to a physical location and specific time. When I post words and thoughts and any corresponding pictures it stays there and can continue to speak. That kind of tickles my fancy.. A bit thrilling cause it becomes timeless in its own way.

Just an easier place to connect for me and it is more meaningful too. Where I am not just sitting and vegetating in an environment where I am not feeling connected to others.

I cannot hear or enjoy any music, nor really join in singing or worshipping that way nor hear a good sermon or even bow in prayer and join with others cause I have no way to know what is being shared around me. Because I cannot hear it and I get distracted and I cannot enjoy it. I am not really drawn that way any longer.

I am here.. God is here and I am at peace and I can wholly immerse myself in what I am writing and flowing with here. I enjoy it.

I am so very thankful to HIM for what Easter means and I can talk about my recent painting that I didn’t get to share more about. HE continually is placing religious art and art supplies in my way and its so personal and HE is saying to me.. enjoy this journey and please express it and gladfully share it. I am here with you. So close. I have given you this way to express yourself and connect with others don’t be afraid to soak it in and you do not need to be this or that or go here and there and you do not need anyone else’s approval or to do anything different to what is on your heart and how I am leading you.. I feel so precious. So favoured and because I am online I can also share it which makes it a way to communicate too.

But it is different to the majority and it means not looking to traditional methods and it means every day reflection and inspiration not just on certain days. Every day is holy and divine but I am free to experience it in normal and every day life and also a way that is incredibly life affirming and life giving to me personally.

Religious type art expression again can set you apart and there will be only certain people who will respond to it and sometimes no one but it does sort of encourage people who are not religious to respond and take notice simply because its in art form and there is freedom there. All people can appreciate freedom well I hope they can. True freedom is what our LORD came to bring to the world in any case.

2 Corinthinans 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

My art of Jesus on the cross.. was inspired by a $1 dollar purchase of a beautiful prayer book. I did intend at first to cut it up for collage and art journaling and it was cheap but I may not of course because I find it hard to cut up beautiful things. So much gorgeous art in this beautiful book as well as prayers and writings. You see when I find these things it truly is as if HE puts them in my path. Well within my budget and yes I will admit to collecting many beautiful things and also things that inspire me and I enjoy being surrounded by them…

I do not want to be so ‘religious’ as such though this would be considered religious art.. I want my art to be personal, from my core and spiritual but also approachable. To be completely honest to who I am and what I believe but also not make it so that it isn’t disrespectful to GOD and HIS presence and glory. HE is holy and grand in the grandest sense but HE is not to me a central focus where I feel I need to be like everyone else.. not that I do not need people or too belong. Just that through HIM I believe and see that I am joined to everyone else and I guess that fixed gaze does tend to keep me not drawn to different ways of living or needing to be like everyone else. Through HIM I live and find my whole being revitalised and totally at peace.

My whole reason to exist, like HE is the sun and I am simply one of the planets among a whole solar system of other planets and we are all rotating and going through our existence revolving around HIM and although each is its own separate existence we are all one because of HIM who is at the centre of all life.

Seeking HIM first and HIS kingdom and HIS righteousness (not my own) and then all these things are added to me .. my rendition of Matthew 6:33

I thought first about painting on a canvas or something blank that you could do something else with or display at a later date. But my art journal is where I am daily. It has many things in it that are all personal to me. I have not set out to make a living from my art money wise or to display it other then online. I just felt led to create it at a personal level. I had already pre-painted the background. It felt right to paint it in here. Alongside a cut up collage of a city scene in winter .. It says.. here is where I seek and find GOD in my every day life right where I am, as I am.

So I put myself in the painting looking up at HIM like I do in my personal life. Being Easter HE is on the cross and inspired by that book I just found recently so it all fits in together. I did hesitate to paint something like this because the image I am basing my painting on is so perfectly painted. By artist Rogier van der Weyden (1400 -64) Christ on the cross..

This is where I have to lose all fear. Just have a go. Let go. let GOD. I remember the other day walking around the house after painting the initial painting. I love to pray walking around lol and also I can pray doing most anything.

I was saying to God.. how minuscule what I create is.. How I live. How I appear and present myself in this world. All so miniscule. Immediately after that prayer was said my youngest son came up and offered to me a plate of my favourite snacks. It was so beautiful. Like a reward straight after and I thanked God and was at peace. I mean I tie everything in you know. So I just do my thing. I find my joy in it and good things happen to me along the way!!

This is my intention always. ***

2 Corinthians 4:7 New Living Translation
We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.

and for a different slant from English Standard Version
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.

So I can be unafraid even amongst the curled up pages of my art journal. My cluttered room. My introverted ways. By simple paintings.. to show you this absolute greatness of GOD that chooses to show HIMSELF through me.. ***

HE was vulnerable on the cross. At the mercy of me as an artist lol but also in life at the mercy of soldiers who didn’t care for human dignity or human suffering the cross was punishment and extremely cruel. I mean I realise they didn’t believe it was GOD right. But they would have heard the stories and maybe even witnessed miracles I do not know. I know the bible says on that day remarkable things happened. I mean this man was well known and he had followers and loved ones surrounding him. HE had stirred up a lot of people including the religious people of that day. HE was hated and HE was loved deeply.

To paint his body. HIS manly body. HIS human body. HE was probably stripped naked on that cross.. No decency here right. But I covered his maleness. I just wanted that to represent how I wish to depict truth but also not disrespect GOD or others in the process. I do not do what I do for shock value or even to disrespect others way of life. I see that modesty and honour is important. But I did start out being quite crude with my painting. I mean his arms are not right because HE was a carpenter HE would have been strong but to me the whole closeness of SPIRIT is hard because there is no touch.. there is no physical presence and I find that hard. It is lonely and I miss physical presence but faith isn’t seeing so you have to learn to trust and when you let go of the need for the physical closeness that strength and support brings.. you must find form and fortitude in weakness. So as I persisted on through my painting HIS face, heart, chest and lower body it became easier to form and paint. It was beautiful painting HIS body.. It felt freeing and I could identify with HIM as thoroughly human through this painting.. HIS suffering is beautiful to me because I have suffered and HE has become real to me in my suffering. So I am comforted.. I find hope and beauty in HIS suffering so that is how HIS thorns transformed to what appears a floral wreath.. though I did not mean that at all. I find my strength and momentum to live because HE is close to the broken hearted and HE himself was broken for me. Though HE is on the cross I believe and know HE has already overcome death, suffering and all evil and so will I.

By HIS wounds I am healed. At Easter and every day forward and back and for all eternity. I find life and not just life but abundant life.