Monthly Archives: December 2016

Journal prompts: Goodbye 2016

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Journal prompts: Goodbye 2016


What were the most significant events of the year past? List the top three.
Definitely Zali (15) going to Japan was the biggest event. Also seeing how the money came in from family and friends that was lovely. I am so proud of how hard Zali worked towards it with her first job and doing fund raising. The whole experience I think life changing and I feel our family kind of came together and made us closer to one another.
As for the other top events. Doing the Soul Restoration course not so long ago has really helped me. Unfortunately I couldn’t finish it because I didn’t have enough money to keep enrolled but I will go back and finish. I have felt freer than in a long time. Got stuff out of inside of me I didn’t even know was there. Hard, but oh so necessary. Opened up the vault of hurt inside which I had no idea was still there as much as it was. I feel more peaceful generally, freer and I have seen the relationship with my sister change. More able to hear the Spirit I think. My truth teller.
Perhaps the other is doing the Auslan class that was a biggie for me. I was very anxious. The time with my SIL was perhaps the nicest of all. I just haven’t spent much time with any one person in the flesh like that in a long time. I really do think and hope I can continue on learning it even on my own at home. I didn’t go on with it with Lisa. The offer was there. Mainly because I don’t have anyone to practice with and it didn’t seem right to spend the money on something I wasn’t and haven’t been able to use. I don’t see Lisa either any other time. It wasn’t on my heart to do it. But I can see that it is helpful if I did meet others who learn it. Just haven’t yet.
Describe 2016 in one sentence: It was long, and at times extremely lonely and unproductive (a troubled relationship with my sister and living in the family home truly backed me into a corner) but art expression and faithful on-line friend Dustin, a good relationship with Justin and my kids have kept me alive and kicking.
This year I’m most grateful for… answered it in the last sentence. I am grateful for Dustin, Justin ha ha. Children. Amy-lisa. Art. Social Media. Blogging. Vampire Diaries. Daydreams. Coffee. Lord with me. Finding inspiration and surrounding myself with it. People who gave to Zali. Face book friends who just loved me and let me be me. Instagram. My phone. Kelly-Rae Roberts course. Soul Restoration course. People who communicate with me in a way that works for me. People who text. Zali especially who helps me with more than any other with my deafness and just helping me. She gets me and makes me cry even to write this. The times I could do good things for others.
My biggest achievement this year was… to keep going. To keep faith. Not to give up.
This year I got really excited about… Art Journaling. Cutting out. A bit of paint. Glue stick. Making pages that speak to you and you just add what speaks to you to a blank page. You can share it after wards on social media. You can share your heart and feelings and its kept me going. I was able to create a few things through the year to give people which was lovely. Combining spirituality, faith, personal opinions, struggles, truth, joy etc
This year I was most inspired by… Amylisa, Bridgette, Mandy, Avery, Jen, Dustin..
My greatest challenge this year was… Keeping focused. Lots of times I just sat. I had no motivation for anything. It is any wonder I did not shut down but I didn’t thank YOU LORD. I kinda lost contact with the outside world or it felt like it. Sometimes all I had is just my stubborn faith and nothing more.
I need forgive myself for… shutting down. I let people or lack of people turn me almost completely inwards. Which is a blessing cause GODS Spirit is in there.. But you tend to fall through the cracks and lose the ability to communicate at all..
My biggest piece of unfinished business from this year is… There would be too many to mention. Biggest would be I am disappointed I did not journal my way through. Dear God I might even have had a best seller book by now lol. Low points make for interesting stories don’t they?? Also I think there is tons of room for me to restore relationships again. When I fell, I lost contact with so many, almost everyone.
The greatest lesson I’ve learned this year is… I am not alone. Ever. Period. And I am Approved of by GOD even if I did nothing more or all things I had done good were suddenly erased. I am still approved of by HIM.. Beloved.
How have you grown as a person this past year? How are you different this year than last? This is the strangest thing I have found out. That I through this last year can tangibly sense faith more in myself and in other people. I don’t know that I can explain it. Relying more on Spirit than flesh that’s for sure and in that realm there is expansion and freedom and joy and ease except that in this flesh realm or world. Its not the usual measuring standard. So by worldly standards I am nothing basically. But in spiritual realms I can honestly say that I am going ahead in leaps and bounds.
This year I wish I had done more… Reading. Journaling the raw stuff. I could see that the raw stuff makes a person breathe in and out more and flow better. Gets things out of them.
I wish I had done less… Playing games on my phone. Hoarding. Shutting down. Sitting. Losing myself watching dvd series or just mindlessly watching tv.
What was the best way you used your time this past year? Anything creative is always good. The few times I connected with people more than normal was lovely. When I shared my heart despite the lack of feedback and it flowed. I fist pumped every time. I am so thankful to GOD because what happens after I put it out there in the world is totally in HIS hands. There were some really great times I spent talking with Dustin. Hours went by, both present even across the world. Incredible. Family nights where I stay with Justin and the kids for a meal once a week. It has become someone to go and a kind of weekly thing. Just really nice time together. I would truly miss them if they stopped. Peace with him is a miracle. Priceless. He has actually become more understanding/patient with my hearing loss which has been surprising. Moreso than my own blood family.
If you had more time to invest in this past year, what would you do with it? Probably take that time to just remember and reflect and perhaps keep some more of that stored somewhere wether that be art wise, journal or whatever. I cannot go back but if I could I don’t think I would know how best to fill in those times anyway. I want to move forward. Leave it behind me. Live different. Invest some more in other people.
If I could redo 2016, I would… Obviously in the times I sat. I would un-sit lol and read, write, walk, tidy etc anything but sit unless it was productive.
Write a letter to the you from the start of last year. What advice would you give yourself? Talk more to GOD because you kinda gave that up more than ever before in the past. Just talk don’t try to make it more a prayer. HE listens always even if you feel you are talking to yourself. Pick up a book and read when you cannot think of anything else to do. Throw some stuff out. Art journal even if you feel like crap. Find the Soul Restoration course online and start January 1st. Lean more on the few people who are around.
If 2016 was a book, what would the title be? Name some of the chapters. She breathes. HE loves her always. Hidden heart keep speaking. Speak the truth even if your voice shakes. My Story is important. Lord with her. She is never alone.
Did you have a guiding word or guiding values for 2016? How did it serve you? How did it challenge you? Confidence was my word it hardly seems it above lol but it was a good word because if you lived according to how you feel, how others treated you, how many were around you, your circumstances, what you believed about yourself or situation, your accomplishments you would surely be defeated. But having this word under-girded me. I am confident. I got through and if I think about how difficult it was. That is a huge achievement right here. I got through.
The biggest gifts of 2016 were… Encouragement and loyalty of friends. Sun rays that appeared so often in the sky no matter what time of day I walked usually evening/afternoon. My children and unconditional love wherever it came from. Gorgeous sunsets. Parents providing for children and I. Time with Justin and the kids in any form. Found gifts here and there at op shops. Bargains that inspired me and right timing. Zali going to Japan, generosity of those who helped her and that the other children supported her. Expressive arts and art journaling. Zali’s help and knowing my heart. Seeing Talitha graduate and move out into a lovely new apartment. Seeing our relationship change what a blessing that has been. She also starts next year with exactly the job she wants in March when she is over her graduate year. That is a top year event too.. Keanu made some life changes and is happy with girlfriend Anna. Seb’s visits home are always special events and he works so hard and keeps going. Conner being here with me and becoming an adult turning 18. I am so grateful for all my children.. They are the best gifts ever. ❤ ❤

I found these prompts.. Thank you Jen..

Journal prompts: Goodbye 2016 (Jen Morris)

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Burn Book

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Over 11,000 words now in my burn book so far.. see pic on link to my Instagram account if you want a little more info on what a burn book is. This is a little bit of what I am writing/working through today.. 

“I certainly have learnt so much through all this so far. People can’t give us what we think they should. They cannot fill in gaps in ourselves. We are the only people who can do that. Us and GOD. We shouldn’t control people that isn’t love. We can guide, counsel, advise (when we have permission and the other person welcomes it ) but love is most important and especially acceptance. Space to fail or fly. Permission to fail or fly. Encouragement for everything. 

I can see a turning around in me.. A healing springing forth.. I am so thankful. I see myself looking not just at others who’ve hurt me but rather looking more intently at who I am now so that what I thought were once hurt places ( because of this person or that). I cannot see this as clearly anymore and I am not as stuck on it, I don’t see it in quite the same light anymore. ❤ ” 

I have been working on a page full of prompts and it’s a tiresome process. I still have a ways to go through them. I can see them helping me though. I can feel shifts inside me. Last night I felt rather poorly. But today I am feeling better and confidently sitting here and keeping on with it. Getting a bit more excited by the process. So very needed I can tell you. 

A link to Brave Girls University where you can learn more about this course and many others. Soul Restoration is the one I am currently doing. Here.. 


Loved this quote & pic from my calendar yesterday.. appropriate much.. 

What do I wish I could ask my 80 year old self?

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I forget about my blog here.. I recently started an online course “Soul Restoration” which can be found at Brave Girl University. Spur of the moment thing. I’d seen it before but timing wasn’t right.. I’ve been searching for something for awhile.. but I didn’t really know quite what.. Spirit led?? 

I have just for so long lost my mojo this course is so timely and the videos have captions for deaf which is truly life saving and I’m sorry to those whom have not heard from me. I think all the things that have happened to me have worn me down.. As Journalling shows.. it really is a closed for restoration situation.. this is only one of the questions I’ve answered. 

Very personal Journalling in this course.. I tended to tell everything in the past and that hasn’t always bode me well.. I really do think if I stick with this it will help me heal.. I may well share more.. it’s been a struggle even to keep at this course.. I just sit and sit and sit.. I guess it’s kind of a switching off.. anyway I’m here and I’m alive.. the lady Melody Ross who runs it is a believer in Jesus Christ.. wow.. but it’s not so much religious as it is helpful and needed.. she shares her beliefs but leaves people open to what they believe and how they apply what she teaches.. freedom.. affirmation.. truth.. ect it’s really beautiful.. 

This page the colours and patterns (background) is my favourite from a whole host I created beforehand.. I edited this a bit to sound better. I try to journal as unedited as I can.. I think better to be raw & real.. 

What do I wish I could ask my 80 year old self?

I would have to go to her ha ha she wouldn’t come to me. I’d make sure she was comfortable with my coming, not just turn up. I’d ask her if there was anything she wanted to say. Wisdom she wanted to pass on. I’d be respectful of her eccentricities. Ask her to show me her art. Ask her to tell me her stories. Ask her what belongings, trinkets, precious things meant the most to her. If she had any regrets? Ask her were there things in her past she could have done differently? I’d want to look through her journals. Communicate in a way she was comfortable with. Ask her what things helped, what things hindered, what people helped, what people drained her, where her inspiration continued to come from over the years? What she loved, how she survived hard times? Did she dream again? I would give her my full attention. Make sure she knew I valued her. Thank her for her time, spirit, faith, help, wisdom and ask her what she thought would help me most to enjoy the rest of my life…