Running the race or plodding..

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The analogy of running the race fares me well. With a single eye to the finish and throwing off anything that pulls me down. That in my case would be noticing what others receive and even the things they say re faith and do re faith.
A hard thing is hearing people say well God blessed me by bringing this person into my life or I am so thankful for this or this or for that. You cannot let that get you down. You have to have incredible steel running through your veins to keep your eyes ahead and not fall flat on your face or just give up completely. My heart has ached and prayed every prayer possible for myself and for many others. So few of them have come to pass (that I can see) and it feels like I am the least on the earth faith wise when others, so many others can stand so proudly and praise and thank GOD for things I have waited for half my life. Yet I have seen many receive answers to prayer that I have prayed for along with them..  Yet unfortunately they forget you. Forget you need your prayers answered too. Forget that you were there for them. Forget that you are one of GODS children and that the goal is to get to the finish to be together forever. All precious. If we all recognized that. We might treat each other differently down here. No one should run alone. We need to notice that we all need support and especially those who have long standing prayer needs. It’s so hard not to stop.. 
I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t notice or didn’t feel it deep the way people treat me or don’t notice the lacks. That is why the looking ahead serves me so well. Digging my roots of faith down so very deep so that they do not wither despite all the things I wish for, hope for and pray for still waiting. All the things others seem to find or receive or delight in. I need to keep my face upturned and stubbornly trust. It has been a messy road for sure. To keep going, keep believing. Faced lots of judgement along the way but still I keep on. 

When I am alone with GOD I realize HE sees even if few others see. HE knows my heart. HIS peace is perfect. I can rest in my messiness when I sense his peace because despite my imperfections, my lacks HE fills me with unearthly peace. I know despite everything that all will be well no matter how it appears outwardly. Holds me steady. I run my own race. I have too.. Others pace I cannot keep up with it and comparisons ahh well I definitely do not measure up. So I plod along steady but slow. I do not take notice of the distance traveled, that the scenery rarely seems to change and that there is often so few cheering me on. I think sometimes I am almost invisible. But GOD has always said the race is unto HIM after all. The race of life. To be faithful in the small minute things I can do. In trusting HIM for it all is about all I can do most times. So many times what is meant to be well-meaning falls short and such is that I have done the same too and people have felt that from me. To keep going is a mighty act I think even as you are yet it is very lonely at times. I am so very glad HE is merciful. Just. Patient. And wonderfully faithful. Despite everything HE has already traded my worst for HIS best and promises a shining future. To keep going my desire and not give up.

It may not be often seen in our lives the way others wish it were seen but the blessed hope is that we are always going to make it. Because of HIM .. ❤ 

In the stillness of your heart, you can hear the call, “Do not be afraid…”

Peace I leave with you..
John 14:27

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