My Voice..

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DAY 21 – DIG DEEPER:
What issues have you felt more misunderstood, unheard or silenced about? How would you rephrase them in a way you feel your voice is heard?

I could write a book here lol.

Maybe the last five years I have been silenced by decreasing severe hearing loss but also by isolation and people turning away. I have stepped back myself so I know it’s not all other people’s fault. But some major rejection happened by a select few that kind of screwed with my life in such a way that the bottom pretty well fell out of my world. They wouldn’t agree to the word I used to describe it either. Hey but its my writing and it’s how it felt to me.

People can find so many faults in me and do. I can myself but I want to be truthful. Being disabled doesn’t mean people give you any help. It doesn’t mean people treat you differently. Now I don’t want to be treated differently but…. I am not like everyone else I DO NEED help and assistance and I don’t get it really. My kids yes they have to live with me. But few others no. I am treated like everyone else and I fell off the side of the earth with it literally. I don’t really want to communicate with people who don’t want to communicate with me. Not where it is such a struggle and too much work. Obviously others feel the same.

Writing has become my voice.. Art my way to express myself in the world. Faith is my salvation. But I can’t do it like everyone else. I was not fitting in with everyone else. I cannot sit in church and be like everyone else. So I found GOD outside the walls and HE is everywhere and it more amazing than anything I learned within the walls. And HE does not turn his back on you when you do not do it like everyone else. I think HE applauds us actually. HE enjoys us being the unique people HE created us to be.

I am reading a diary at the moment. It is a book written about diary entries from one year of a famous man’s life. It is shocking to read the life he lived. It’s extremely raw and often x-rated. But I love it. Not for the things shared and the content exactly but because the man shared everything he was feeling and experiencing like nobody else I have ever come across. He talks very openly about his life and his lows and highs. I crave deeper living and being able to express myself in every part. I am not put off by the things he talks about though it is very shocking. I can see the power in it to be truthful to be open and transparent. It was on the New York best sellers list when it was first released.
Heroin Diaries.. A year in the life of a shattered rock star by Nikki Sixx

It is so inspiring me to keep writing and be more and more raw and honest. I so admire his strength and determination to use all his life experience at that point in time to help others who may have and are going through similar. It is a whole other world to me but I am learning about the way he kept up his diary and just spilled his heart, blood and soul there. That to me is priceless. He is a very gifted writer. I can see also that though he was a broken man his spirit/soul was still strong and that good can come from the very worst kind of evil in the world no matter how we have dealt with it at the time.

I think the more raw and down to earth you are the more easily you can connect and connection is very important to me because it is my biggest struggle.. I cry seeing people close and enjoying company and I can’t be the same. I feel so excluded so weird so different so alone at times. It’s more than being a loner its being in a whole different world to everyone else yet living side by side with them.. Obviously life traumas effect you and change the way you function so that is a part of who I am and how I live because I have had my fair share.

My writing is my unheard voice, my soul, my presence in the world and my very way to communicate who I am and what is important to me.

That in the very writing course these prompts are part of it’s said that writers are often experiencing very much the same feelings I am. I draw incredible strength from that. I have solidarity with artistic type people. I know I am really strong within despite my weaknesses and I can see beyond them that I do have much still to give the world. Empowering.

There is no excuse for other people to say I am not speaking or present. I am speaking and I am present here in my writing and its public because I am always sharing it. It’s up to the people around me now to read it if they want to communicate with me and find out what I am all about.

 
DAY 21 – DAILY PROMPT:
Write passionately about something that you would be willing to protest against or for. Explain what it is, why you would be willing to fight for it, and how far you would be willing to go. Never standing up for anything is the easiest way to always fall for everything. Tell us what you would be willing to speak your voice, shaking though it may be, for.

 
Truth.. I am passionate about truth. Not just religious truth. But truth about people. Truth about weakness and strength. Truth about who we really are. Truth about struggles and hardships and feelings. Definitely truth about feelings. Knowledge of the truth sets free. It’s the not saying over a long period of time where dysfunction and lies set in and we get separated from one another. We need to be heard and seen for who we are not what people want us to be.

Nobody should be afraid to tell the truth. That people are loved even though they fail or get weak because telling the truth about it is brave but we need to face what it means too especially if the person is hurting and they feel unheard. Truth about GOD. Not the lies so many tell or the half truths. HE is so so so so so much better than we can even think of or imagine. It’s just people judge him according to the evils in the world and their experiences instead of who HE actually is and what HE is about. HE doesn’t box people in or force Himself on anyone instead HE gives us wings and there is no set way to enjoy HIM. His love is never ending. He includes everyone. Oh my how that needs to be told. God judged his Son so we wouldn’t have to be judged. We are all free people and it’s beautiful. People are beautiful not everybody knows it about themselves and that makes people act differently than they would if they knew beauty within and without.

Everyone deserves love. I stand for equality for all. Respect for all. How I wish people would stop judging each other. Just accept one another. We embrace good and see strengths in all people not faults. We love without conditions. That everyone is treated the same. Yes we stand against evil. But I think there will be less and less evil when we love without conditions and include everyone. People need each other and they need to be believed and they need support. If you are accepted, if you are supported and if you are loved I think that cures so much of the hurt in our world.

That we stop seeing a formula but rather the ONE who made it all and give HIM the credit instead of take it for ourselves because of what we do or don’t do. HE has hidden himself so HE would be found but its easy when you use your heart than there is nowhere HE cannot be found. Not in rules and regulations but in goodness, kindness, beauty and freedom. Especially recognized in love and where there is hope and always where there is joy.

That if we saw ourselves as one people world wide, no matter the color of skin how much more wonderful a world it would be. That we respect the environment and everyone in it and the animals too are taken care of. Sharing with each other, working together and enjoying our world and each soul had a place. Nobody is better or worse than anyone else.

I stand for world peace. For God. For love. For each other. For working together as a whole!!! For truth!!! All our stories are important.

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