Monthly Archives: January 2016

Ode to Socks

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I’m in so many groups but I’m keeping this one up. Poetry prompts for 365 days of the year. Doing these as often as I can.  This was a fun one and yes these are our family’s odd socks in pic..

Don’t ask lol.. Prompt was about Twins where the first line and last lines were the same. Socks. Twins. Odd socks that once were twins.. My crazy mind uses it imagination. Stretches me. Keeps my brain active and creative spirit alive and kicking..

Ode to Socks

Where are thou oh sock
the mystery is making me cross..
You’ve disappeared into thin air
and left us with dross.
Where once there was a wearable
matching pair.
Now frustratingly only one sock
means a foot remains bare..
You’ve not turned up in any place
the family does look..
Not to be found high or low, in any
cranny or nook..
Nobody can remember when you
were last seen..
All we know is that you were taken
off in hast as unclean..
Between than and now a magical
force has mysteriously zipped you
away..
One sock washed, dried and found
& the other gone astray..
You’ve been sucked away by an
unworldly unseen menace..
For all we know you could now be in
Rome or in Venice!!
Unfortunately this is not the first
time for this dirty sock thief..
The vortex that sucked you far away
has left similar trails of grief..
A whole bag of lonely socks in the
laundry quite disturbing..
If all the socks came back it be
raining socks from the laundry to
curbing..
So here is my heart cry about our
strange sock loss..
Where are thou oh sock the mystery
is making me cross..

 

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She Dies to Live.. 

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Writing poetry every day ( or as often as I can ) joining in with a face book group ‘She of the Wild Writes’ where we write based on prompts.. I love to decorate my poems too.. Colours & pics 🙂 
Writing a poem that features an unusual death.. Fictional or true.. 

Aps used are Instaquote & images from PicsArt.. 

She Writes Poetry – free to join
 

I can say it in other ways..

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It’s incredible how easy it is to write the poem in the image.. getting it into that form however wasn’t so easy. 🙂  I kept making errors. I had it all ready to finish and found a spelling mistake, than I found something else etc.. I just think it looks better in image form. Colors, font, even the little icons added.. It was not so easy finding a cross icon either. I had to use various tricks to get that on my image..

I think for the longest time I kept it positive.. but you know when life is difficult you cannot just be positive and stay real. One of the apps I looked for pics to go on the image.. 99% of the pics were positive and that is wrong really. Life isn’t all good all the time. To be real you need to talk about dark things. I guess the cross image many wear and see as a faith icon and I do too.. But having faith is tough too and although we believe and speak love and positive good things we still have to honest with ourselves, others and GOD that it hurts and its hard and we cry and get angry and fail. And of course the cross was an instrument of torture and death. So I feel the cross and arrows really portray what I am saying here.

I have so much stuff inside me to tell but few to nobody to tell.. not without it coming out the wrong way or being completely misunderstood. There is just something about telling things to people who look at you like your crazy or don’t really take things you say into their heart or judge you in the telling or tell you no no no its not like that.. It is like speaking to a closed door or a brick wall.. I don’t mean they have to agree or even like it. I just mean listen with an open heart and open mind and let you freely tell it.

I don’t like burdening the one or two who do listen especially when they do not burden me the same. So when I read the prompt for today this just burst out of me. I get prompts from all over.. I love them..

So many times lately I have had written out face book posts and almost hit post and publicly shared the pain of my soul but anyone who uses social media knows not many can deal with dirty laundry.. the tough stuff.. the dramas of someone’s life. Even if it is truth or real or a major struggle.. I do not know how believers in GOD deal with the heavy stuff.. because let’s face it WE ALL HAVE IT. I guess private meltdowns?? Or perhaps they have a group they meet with and talk about things? A therapist? A spouse or parent or friend? Or they simply just never say it. I would burst I can’t do that. So this seems a less evasive way to deal with it.

Some of us don’t have someone available. My best friend is half a world away and we are in different time zones. You cannot just slot in when you need to talk.. AND I do talk daily to GOD.. because people say well GOD should be enough.. well hello.. everyone talks to someone.. and those who don’t go crazy I think.. because we are created to talk..

Deafness robs me of 95% of conversations I could have.. so yeah poetry seems a great way to express my inner soul and struggles and joys I have..

Not Powerless

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You have to face it some time.. First by realizing it’s there.. And second by realizing your not powerless.The thing is by doing the same thing over and over it ISN’T changing.. And that is why I need to do something.

I faced huge battles before when two people were ganging up on me. They didn’t know it at the time. But it was very apparent to me and very hard to deal with.. GOD gave me help with it.. By a little sesame street song. “That’s about the size.. Where you put your eyes.. That’s about the size of it..”

To me these people were dominating me and so much so that I was shrinking being around them.. Powerless.

But by changing my mindset I don’t know it seemed to help somehow. I saw myself bigger and the problem seemed to shrink. And that is about all I did.. I was playing a victim role.. Now I see myself way higher and taller and stronger.. And the bullies or problem people are way down below.. Maybe they are still doing the same things but somehow this new vision made everything lose its power.

I have had problems with anxiety.. Over_______. ____ is also not aware. Blissfully unaware mostly or so it seems. I need to see this differently too now.. Use the same tactics to overcome this battle.. Because sometimes its about all I think of.. Soul destroying.

Yes it seems unfair that I am targeted so much, for so long and through the people closest to me.. AND especially that they cannot see it so I am even more alone.. Urgghh… to try to explain to people who SHOULD support you and SHOULD listen and they see nothing.. Is the craziest, weirdest and most frustrating thing.. You would think they would simply believe you based on who you are.. And that you are telling them and they should just believe you. But when you look into their face and they aren’t believing you and look at you like you’ve lost your marbles.. Make excuses and try to justify it. It is like having all the air in your chest released and yet your supposed to continue to breathe. Every day you’re thinking why should I tell them anything.. They won’t believe that either.. Your battling every day against being believed as well as what the abuse is doing to you and you become more and more alone.. Your struggling in silence and they look at your struggles and than judge you not on the cause of your struggles but that you are failing and that it must be your fault cause look at you.. Instead of think.. Wow she’s changed.. What could have happened to her to become like that? What pain must be occurring to act like that? What if she IS telling the truth? Heaven forbid that she is telling the truth?!?

Why in the hell would I lie? 

So further and further away they and myself become.. Nothing I  say will make any difference so I start to become silent with them. It’s how it happens.. And than to top it off the person giving you strife is welcomed in and seen as the victim instead lol. Ohh please can it get any more painful so your stabbed again and again as you struggle and they rise.. And forever kept in chains as the victim by the people who could help you but refuse too because this couldn’t possibly be happening.

I think telling your story is one way to take back your personal power.. Ok some already don’t believe me.. But maybe someone else will. Or maybe some peoples eyes will start to be opened to what is really going on. Also as the scripture says Gods power is working through me and its appears the best way to show it. 

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
  

Creative Prompts

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4th January 2016

Write down an achievement you feel proud of:

I am happy I created some gifts at Christmas. Inspirational cards. I gave some to my sister, cousin and brother & sister in law. I had been making them many months before.. so I am glad I was all finished by the time Christmas came around. My cousin actually took quite some time looking through her cards.. that was nice to see.. I really really enjoyed making them.. I love inspiration, matching pics with words.. and I did both sides of the cards so that there is more inspiration.. I have a glass box of smaller cards by the side of my bed.. I like the cards and maybe will give them away one day or just keep them myself. I suspect I could create them and sell them.. but not sure of copy right.. I have amassed quite a lot of magazines to find the pics.. I have not made any cards for awhile though. I have another set I can give away.. perhaps to another family member for her birthday later this month.

inspirationcards

 

My creative flames are fanned by…

Face book friend Amylisa is one.. long time online friend Dustin of course.. I really do not get a lot of feedback. For the amount of stuff I put out there.. Minimal I get back. Hasn’t stopped me. But it does stall me many times. I mean the little crumbs I get can feed me for ages but imagine what I could do if I had more support!! More belief in my expressions.. SIL Lisa was interesting in her comments when I explained how I could see tiny faults with her gift. She couldn’t notice and I would be the one most likely to notice things but it didn’t mean others could. I am not wording this exactly right. But it helped.. made me see that I might be better than I think I am!! That is very positive.. Dustin sees so much of it. I can share it.. pretty much any of it with him ha ha and he has not complained once!! .

 Malcolm God rest his soul was perhaps my most vocal encourager and time has proved he is genuine.. ( I say that because if you encourage me and then turn away it shows a divided heart and I don’t know what to do with your mixed messages).

Malcolm said the most beautiful things.. and very deep, thoughtful and meaningful things. He really is still the wind beneath my wings. I often wonder if perhaps my lack of self confidence shows in what I create? And people can see that and it doesn’t resonate with them. I think actually the more honest I am the better it connects with people.. it’s just brutal honesty is costly.. few do it. And it makes you stick out like a sore thumb. People don’t tend to see your heart behind it. Judge on face value or by who they think you are..  I don’t know it’s weird. I think it all makes me try to be more genuine about things I say to others..

The people who inspire me most are…

Creative types.. Poetry writers.. Artists. Quirky people.. Colourful people.. Those who are Unafraid. You get a sense of their realness. That what they say is how they feel. I have learnt to be much less wary of differences and to embrace people of all kinds.. It makes sense if you want to say how you feel others have that right too!! Uniqueness and authenticity. Battlers and those walking their own paths have wisdom apart from the masses. They may even be outcasts but they don’t say just because its popular or likeable. They have challenged the status quo. Kind people.. People who accept you for who you are and don’t expect you to be like them.

What sets my life on fire…

Words, music, quotes, beauty, books, collecting things that I enjoy that make me happy.. I like writing, poetry, creating art journals, working with prompts… Finding treasures.. Talking about how I feel. Sharing things that excite me, sadden me, inspire me.. Blogging.. Stories.. Soul.. Spiritual people.. People who live whole-hearted lives. Faith.. Talking to GOD any time.. Embracing who I am.. I can be happy on my own.. I like expressing myself.. I love joy.. I love touching others with inspiration.. Obviously being deaf I need written words…. If I am included as I am you’ve got a friend for life!!

I will seek out my people here…

99% of the time its online.. art type groups.. spiritual groups.. I am happy with one special person in my life.. I don’t like crowds. I love reading and drawing strength from creative people.. I read their writing, look at their art, read their blogs, soak in their teachings. Share their work and offerings.. I read a quote the other day and it really expresses what I feel.. Posted below.. I know I can get lonely.. I can feel alone.. I can feel in my own little world.. but when I am in my flow.. Aware of spirit and that kind of realm. This quote says it perfectly.. God is with me so I believe in spirit I am connected to everyone no matter where I am..

“Although I am a typical loner in my daily life, my awareness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has prevented me from feelings of isolation.”
– Albert Einstein

Prompts are taken from a free journal challenge hosted by Lisa Sonora. The prompts I have chosen to blog here comprise of only some of the prompts she has offered and come from more than one day..

find details here

fire-30-day-journal-project-oy225

 

 

 

New Years Resolutions

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I start off writing furiously.

Good intentions.

Can’t write fast enough.

Keep my room clutter free.. 

Write daily..

Read daily.

Cook nicer meals.

Walk daily.

Keep in better contact with people.

The list goes on..

But very quickly as the days pass.

I get distracted.

Time slips by.

One by one I forget.

Guilts nags.

I dare not read back that far.

Reminding myself I can’t do this resolution thing.

But wait one habit did stick! 

It’s hard not to walk now!!

I have kept that up!

So something did work!

Perhaps this thing isn’t so much about failings.

But about what triumphs were created! 

Now to go back and rewrite this year. 

Only need one to stick than I will have two!!!

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Following along She Writes Poetry explains more there. A free writing challengefor 2016.. 

 
My doggie Bella and me.. About to go on one of our daily walks!!