Monthly Archives: November 2015

Found Poem

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I found a free sample offering of a Poetry course I am thinking of doing in the near future. I will add link below.. I do recommend the teacher she is amazing! Her name is Beth Morey! I have purchased her poetry book. “Night Cycles.”

Her book on amazon

Her free offering encouraging me to write a “found poem”. Insert below copied from her post.. find link to post below..

For our first assignment, let’s have some fun and create found poems. According to the Academy of American Poets, “Found poems take existing texts and refashion them, reorder them, and present them as poems. The literary equivalent of a collage, found poetry is often made from newspaper articles, street signs, graffiti, speeches, letters, or even other poems” (source).

I love cutting out pictures from magazines etc so this pic is from a fashion magazine and I found an old book and just cut out words and phrases here and there. Whatever took my fancy at first.. What first caught my eye was the phrase. ‘She wore the green dress’.. so I used that as the basis of the whole poem.. Hence the picture I found with a woman in a green dress.. Than built the poem around those words. Of course some words I had already cut out didn’t fit so it was a real challenge to find words to fit my pic and poem..

Put them altogether. It really makes you think about what you want to say, what the photo evokes in you etc.. Like writing a mini story..

Being a single woman. On my own a lot and a romantic at heart. I let my imagination run wild.

 

The Guide 

She was dreaming.

She wore the green dress.

he would guess mythical, romantic, carefree.

What an extraordinary girl, he thought.

He let the tranquility and mystery cloak him.

it entered, sat in his heart.

He held it there.

She wished to be unobserved.

He sat for a moment and watched her.

Yet now, unbidden.

Sank back to normality.

Hauled out of his daydream.

maybe one day.

Coming towards him.

eyes fixed with hunger

made him giddy beside her.

He sighed, waiting.

He could only watch, helpless.

the one guarding her.

he stood.

and looked out over to the west range

but the garden and surrounding grounds

remained empty of life.

 

 

The Guide

Introducing POETRY IS + Free Sample! – she of the wild

 

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Many Mansions

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In my Spirit today I heard the words.. Many mansions.. Heard while I was in the kitchen.
I have heard this said before.. Many years ago when I most needed it.. 

I was doing dishes way back in 2009. In a family home where I lived with our five children and my than husband.

I heard said.. ‘I am with you always.’
And… ‘In my Fathers house there are many mansions.. ‘
Not long after that. My marriage declined and died basically over a period of time.. Our family was separated. It was the beginning of many years of difficult circumstances for us all..

Many years later.. I am now sharing a house with my father and mother and three children.. So I am living in my earthly fathers house.

Prophetic words indeed because Jesus Spirit never left me and really became my strong hold and closest friend.. knowing this at this time and on wards has helped me more than any other thing.

Today again I hear the words.. Many mansions.
It is prophetic.. Especially in this day and age.. When many seem anti-God.. Anti-me. Anti-each other.
The word ‘Many’ means amounting to a large but indefinite number.. It doesn’t sound exclusive or that there is only going to be a few..
I had a discussion with another person earlier today who says they also believe in GOD.. And I said every man, woman and child is God’s Child whether they know it or not. They disagreed. Believing I think that you need to have done something re salvation to be counted in. But I believe that it is EXACTLY what Jesus did.. HE did the saving by offering Himself for all mankind in the way that HE did.. Born of the Spirit is to become aware of the Spirit while on earth. There was the fall of mankind.. Jesus righted it all. The only thing missing now is knowledge of what HE has actually done!!

We just need to know it for it to help us in the now.. Going from the old to the new.. Knowledge of the truth (calls himself the truth by the way )sets us free.

It really helped to hear those words in my Spirit today.. Because I can trust GOD for people who don’t click with me right now and do not click with each other. People that for whatever reason exclude me, reject me and/or others. I really see GODS love for all mankind in these words.. That it isn’t just for the one or two and the rest can burn in Hell.. HE actually intends and is preparing for all people to dwell together in harmony and with Him!

The old has to pass away for the new to come! It really is the most beautiful truth on earth.. Good news indeed. 

I was called New Age today.. And actually despite what the other person thinks that this term means.. It is pretty right..

Therefore if any man/woman/child is in Christ. They are a new creation. Old has passed away. New has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

I guess the thing is.. Did Christ do what He did for all? If He did it it for all was it enough? …. His last words on the cross were..

‘It is Finished..’ 
He has also called Himself. 

The Alpha and Omega. 

Beginning and the end. 

What is there left for us to do?
But first to realize that HE includes us in the middle. 
Realise HE did it for us!!!

And then tell it so everyone else knows!! 

  

Big Dreams

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We are fund raising for our youngest daughter who is 14. It’s a very humbling experience.
Since we set up a ‘Go Fund’ account last night we have already raised $90! Most of the donations from young people! Two being my own kids! Blown away really. I had no idea people would be so open to help..
Has seemed impossible to raise the funds needed. Zali has an optional trip to Japan for year 10 next year. I think only 25 students can go so limited spaces available. Through Ballarat High School. She has been learning Japanese since Year 7 now in Year 9. She has wanted to attend this for quite some time. She has had good reports from teachers that she should keep continuing to learn as she has been doing so well. One of the top students in her class over the years.

I admit I have not had as much enthusiasm or faith for it. Ticket alone is $3,800! Plus that doesn’t include all meals?!? So she has been selling chocolates, we are presently selling 2nd hand items etc and now this fund raiser thing. They take a proportion for using their service.. something like 6% of the overall funds raised. I have no idea if we will make our target but in less than one day we have seen family and friends sharing, donating and supporting us..

Over the years my kids have missed out on various excursions and other things simply because with a family of 5 kids we didn’t have the money. Currently not one of my kids has complained that Zali has the possibility to go to Japan when they have all missed much lesser costing excursions.. all have rallied around her and its a beautiful thing for a parent to see.. so proud of all our children!

Link added here..

Zali’s Japan Trip

.. if anyone desires to support my daughter I say a huge thank you .. well actually your supporting us all. I can’t afford this for her but her dad, family and I will all be adding as much as we can till next year which isn’t that long away.. I am so thankful for means like this to raise funds.. to see the support growing it really is a heart touching and unifying thing.. especially in a world that seems so dark and dismal right now.. I am praying for world peace.. for all around the world who have lost loved ones in wars, terrorist attacks and those who are working to bring order to our world.. I pray our world unites as one..

zaliJapantrip

peace

Little Streams

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(To create the digital image that fitted my poem – combination of pictures I used Diana ap.. A third picture miraculously appeared in my iPad ap. So astounded me! Worth mentioning here! Added it below so out of all my pictures that could have appeared that one turned up!!! So I decided to combine the three pics together. Ha ha the LORD wanted in and it wonderfully is what this poem is about anyway!)

Little Streams

Don’t be afraid to let go the broken pieces.
Cupped so tightly in your hands.
The pieces that you’ve gathered from near and far.
They pierce your hands even as you hold them.
Mingled with your blood and tears.
They’ve been trampled on and flung to the ends of the earth.
Nobody treasures them but you.
Let them go into the little stream.
I know your in a desert but see it.
Even here it still flows.
I know you’ve lost your way.
Can’t find your tribe.
The people who understand you.
Who embrace and love every part.
They are waiting too.
To join with you.
But first you must find that you are exactly where you need to be.
You are found.
Now let them safely go..
Each jagged piece matters.
Place them in the little stream because it always flows from where you are to where you need to be.
Just need to realize that you can find the little stream right where you are.
It will carry all that is misunderstood and all that is broken towards the purest crystal sea.
HE is there.
To collect and mend your broken pieces and welcome you home.
This little stream and every other all flow towards HIM.
Flowing to a place so beautiful you can finally show your full face and all that you are without shame.
Where there is no more hiding.
No need to escape.
No more being lost.
No more misunderstanding.
No more rejection.
No more abuse.
No more poverty.
No more injustice.
No more hatred.
No more evil.
Where your soul has yearned to be.
Where you are completely free.
Love lives there.
For the stream will carry all that has brought pain in your life to this healing place.
Your heart will be at peace as you fully release your earthly bondage.
Even while you are still kneeling there.
Wherever you are.
Whoever you are.
Unearthly strength will flood your whole being and instantly change everything.

By SMP ~ Peacechild4

  

  

It’s about Abuse

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A hard post to write. It is about abuse.

But needed oh so needed.
Some reason I have always needed to get things out of me.
I know people don’t like you publicly saying things about struggles.
Especially struggles with other people.
God comforted me today about that.
He reminded me of the story of David and Saul.
A story laid out in the bible about a relationship that was difficult.
And difficult for a long long time.
Every time that is preached. Every time that is shared somewhere.
Every time that is read. It is not hidden. It is not hushed. I consider it public.
It is read and it comforts, strengthens and helps those who hear and read it.
So if you read this and you don’t like the content and you judge me. God knows my heart.
God obviously thought dysfunctional relationships were important enough to add in the bible.

Judge God not me.

There is a victim mentality about. That when you tell about something hard.
People are confronted. They don’t know what to do with it. They don’t care and think you shouldn’t air it.
They like to add their opinions, make excuses for it. Cover their ears and eyes. Give their opinions.
Ignore it. Compare it to something that happened to them. Blame you etc..

I know I feel like a total cow to speak about it.
I feel ashamed that it has happened to me. That I cannot just move on. Least I am honest.
Definitely NOT totally thinking of myself speaking about it. Because when I put myself out there. People will judge even more than they normally do.. Read any public post there will always be some negativity there somewhere and often from friends and family. That is just humanity. Everyone sees things differently.

You know I am almost deaf too so I can’t just easily sit down with a therapist!

We all need to get things out of us. We need to share our burdens. We need to tell someone.
We need people who care enough to listen. That goes both ways of course.
A person who has been abused needs it even more.. But its hard to tell. Many times you will hear of abuse stories and the person has not told anyone for a long long time. And you think why are they letting it happen? Why are they staying? Often because there are few safe places and people who will take the time to hear us and not judge.

All the while the person who has had it happen to them. Takes on all the struggles our society has with dealing with it too.
They feel unheard. They feel that what has happened to them does not matter.
They feel stupid for mentioning it. They take on the blame even if it isn’t theirs to take on.
They suffer even more because people don’t know how to deal with it. They carry more because the person they
tell often gives them a list of things they should try, lists how they should stand up for themselves and basically anything else that only adds to the load and further hurts the victimized person.

If someone is brave enough to tell you what is happening to them by another person and they are deeply hurt.
That should be enough to warrant comfort. To warrant a shoulder to cry on. To warrant being heard and understood. It shouldn’t warrant that their pain is labeled, categorized, compared or given solutions.
I am sure solutions are needed!! But firstly more than anything else that person needs your love.. They need to be heard.. Held if they wish it. To be believed. Sometimes it isn’t about their enemy. It is about being believed and being heard and being offered another’s strength. Not turning them away when they are desperately seeking someone to listen. To simply hear said ‘I am so sorry that is happening to you.’ ‘What you are going through matters.’

I definitely fail too at caring adequately for other people.

I have found that most people do not want to know. And when I have bravely spoken up I feel that as rejection like a knife in my gut if they other person just fobs me off and doesn’t seem to care.

The people who have abused me. Usually are nice people in public. They don’t know what they are doing or just flat out deny it or are moving right along and can more easily deal with it. They seem unable to emphasize with what I am telling them about what is happening and how I am feeling.
I just wish sometimes people would believe me. Know my heart or understand that I am not a vindictive person and that I can move past things it’s just I need to deal with them at the time too. And if time passes without anything happening I cannot and will not just pretend everything is ok.

It has actually caused me more distress than the actual abuse that people move on and pretend all is fine when it clearly isn’t. Seriously this has harmed me. Ignore anything long enough and you can put it out of mind but that doesn’t mean an issue goes away it just means that issue is continuing on un-addressed. That is how a dam bursts if that little cracks are not fixed and are ignored eventually they widen and the pressure of the water inside the dame will burst through.. Small things do matter. Especially if they keep happening over and over again. One can say that is in the past over and over too. But the past affects the future anyone knows that and if it continues it will blow up in your face.

There have been a precious few that have picked up on it. But unfortunately it has damaged me like a vase that is dropped. I can’t go back to the way I was. I can’t just be that perfect person not that I ever was.. Neatly packaging up what has happened to me into a pretty package with bright red bow and putting it in the past because it still affects me every day. I can forgive yes. I do. I have too.. I could not have peace if I didn’t. But I cannot just sit down and let it continue. This is part of why I write this. I am struggling with a current relationship and I don’t know how to do this in a beautiful way. I have to be as honest as I possibly can.

A lot of this is behind the scenes. Manipulative treatment that does my head in. Seems to have been my lot in life to be targeted by this person and others both now and in the past.. But this person is the one I am struggling with the most right now. Christianity makes it harder. Because we are told to forgive even turn the other cheek. Well I am telling you I have done both.. I always forgive. But I can’t forget. I can’t easily see it continuing when the other person keeps doing it over and over and over. Yes we are told for forgive 70×7. But I ask anyone if they are continually suffering by the same person who is going to just stand there and let it happen over and over and over again. You might forgive but you are not going to stand there anymore. That would be foolish.

Every time I try again to work with this person it damages me further. So like David in the bible I must escape it for now. When God gave me that story in my mind it helped me. Because this has been going on for years. And David and Saul’s problems went on for years too.. Not a good outcome for Saul either.. Sigh.. Not focusing on that. Mostly I focus on the length of time it is going on and why when I pray and pray it is still ongoing. And if this story shows this actually happened to someone I can rest that I can identify with it in the here and now. David was not responsible for how Saul acted and the hatred of him. I am not responsible for this person mistreating me either. Not saying it is hatred.

One thing I feel I need to write is. If you are going to question the person who is telling about abuse in any form. That you step back a bit first. Think to yourself. Who is this person that is telling me this. Is this person a known liar? What do I know about their background? Is it possible they are telling the truth? Is this person a known stirrer? If this was true how would they be coping? Perhaps it is possible the way they live and things they do stem from things that have happened to them and not from being a ‘bad person’. It is very likely you have not added up all these things. Because if the victim is lying. Why tell it in the first place? We really do owe any person love. That everything in their lives has brought them to this point. All the things that have happened to them have brought them to this place.. If you choose to judge them than your not loving them. Your not considering how they are or what has happened to them to bring them to telling you this. Yes people lie.. But is this person a liar?

I surely hope people do not think of me as a liar when I say these things.

People and family do know of it. I would say right now there is not one person who is really helping me with this. A few have helped in recent times. God did bring a wonderful close friend even closer for a long length of time to help me. This person currently I have no contact with. I do feel mostly peace about that though. I just have to believe people come and people go for a reason even if I do not know what that reason is for.

People have said to me.. ‘I would never let someone treat me like that!!’ when I have mentioned mistreatment before. Well that doesn’t help. I am not a confrontational person. Never have been. Maybe I do not stand up enough for myself. But I don’t go down quietly. I let people know. Hence this post. Hence many things I have said. Mostly though people don’t take much notice and don’t offer me some comfort when I tell them. So I am left to my own devices. Yes it can mean I internalize it. Yes I can become selfish and withdraw. Run away and hide away even. BUT I am telling you it is not weak to say something it is bloody brave. I do put myself out there and that IS not easy..

Hence another reason I share this. I am not caring about what other people say. I have prayed about this before writing. No check in my spirit to stop. In fact I am writing this very easily. It is needed and perhaps others need to read this too.

I will be posting a link to this on my face book. I will not hide it. I would like to do an art piece or photograph or poem in the future about this. Perhaps many more blog posts or art pieces too.. I don’t know.. I can’t move forward in a healthy way without addressing this. I cannot find healing. Perhaps people I know might be more understanding I can only hope. I will share one of my favorite scriptures about bad things and how God uses it for good. It is my genuine wish and desire that this very promise works for me in such a way..

Genesis 50:20
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

faith

Hope

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I have NOT blogged for awhile I really really need too..
I tend to shut down if I don’t.
Journal or blogging same thing.
I tend not to write with a pen because my writing is so very messy.
Depressingly messy. Artists scrawl the most beautiful messages on their art work.
It’s sad I can’t do that. Not really. I think the writing unless you want the meaning hidden. Should be
Legible.

Yesterday I spent a lot of the day creating a painting. Do not do that often.
It really pumped me up to do it.
The night before last I woke in the early morning hours after a nightmare a little before that.
I was speaking in poetry!! Weird I know but it woke me up enough to notice it. I quickly got
Out my ipad and started taking notes. I rarely can remember my dreams so I knew if I didn’t
Take notes that I would not remember it in the morning.

This art piece shared here and the poem have sprang from that. I have wanted to write poetry for ages.
I mean I have been here and there writing pieces. But it hasn’t flowed easily. But what came to me in
The night was perfect! To me it was! It fit with a beautiful hand crafted stamp I recently received
From a local artist. The words in my mind also fit with my personal situation and that they came the
Way they did and in a continuous flow was mind blowing. Especially because poets write using descriptions
To explain what they are feeling. I don’t know why but I struggled to think of my feeling in symbolic form.
Everything that I was thinking. The words. Images. Everything just all of it I can relate too!! I really
Couldn’t have said it that way naturally if I tried!!

I have been reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s newest book “Big Magic” and she speaks of trains of inspirational
Creative thought that seek us out and we are the ones that need to take hold of them when they come..
It was exactly as she had written about! I really have not had many of them. It has for a long time
been me sweating it out and not knowing what I wanted to do. Especially how to describe it. Break through
for me!!

How to do it and a direction to take. I love creativity. I love writing etc
But to actually create something with function and that beautifully and powerfully expressed my whole life
As I am currently experiencing it.
I mean WOW!!!
This is in a form that I could give away. Could sell..
Though I wince at that thought. My art has mistakes. I originally posted this first on Instagram.
Posted first with the poem digitally added. Neat and tidy.
Later I cut out each line and found a marker to outline it which has smudged.
It isn’t pretty and possibly the words are not clear. I have ruined so many markers trying to write
over paint and/or crafty substances.

The poem. The words. I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it. Miracle. Magic. I believe it is of God’s
Spirit!! Thanking Him over and over.
I so want to be authentic with my own voice. I do not want to overtly religious.
I want to speak in every day language.
When I originally told the artist Asphyxia (I will add a link to her website) I loved the cross idea. Some
Of her other characters held crosses. I wanted her to represent me. I think the cross is known to be
Associated with Christianity. Obviously people will always interpret what your meaning is in art work in
Their own way. But to me it represents my spirituality, my faith and relationship to Jesus!
It is everything I am about. You can’t take it away. It is who I am. Core of my being. Central to who I am.

I hold it up. It is what I want seen. Can’t take the spirit out of the girl. But it is so much more than
religious. I think of religions as set in their ways where I am definitely not that kind of person. I think
Religious people are set apart. Rock solid in what they believe. I like to define myself as one who stands
On the rock rather than being a rock myself. I have found that people do not accept you as easily if you are
different to the mainstream. I do identify as a believer but unique and special in my own way.

I suppose there are some that will always reject me because of the cross. There are also those who will reject
Me because I do not do what everyone else does. No matter my core beliefs.

This is me! I love love love to share it!!

Poem..

One day on the steep slope she became a poetess.

People looked for her.

Thinking she’d fallen down a deep hole.

Never looking up.

Instead they looked down.

Peering from the edges. 

Glaring into the darkness.

All they ever said was that she’d fallen.

She was still on the steep slope though.

Tenaciously holding onto her cross.

It provided strength and purpose.

Blinking in the bright sunshine.

She could still see the people. 

But they were not looking for her anymore.

She decided to sit awhile. 

Contemplating where she was.

Her view gave her inspiration.

She started engraving etchings.

On the side of the mountain.

Realizing that the journey was not in vain. 

One day someone will look up again, 

she thought.

So she stayed there. 

Kept doing what she could do.

Time became her friend.

Eventually people did look up 

again.

They recognized her. 

Read her messages.

They began to understand 

why she’d gone.

What kept her there.

She gave them hope.

Asphyxia ~ art, book & inspiration

hope2