Am I proud?

Standard

DAY 29 – DIG DEEPER: 

Are you proud of yourself, your passion, your creative call, your desire to write? If not, what is keeping you from feeling proud to call yourself a Writer?

Yes I am proud of myself that I have not given up my creative call.

There is a canvas and quote I created which I can see while I am writing this. That says…

“Just be Yourself. Let people see the real,imperfect,flawed,quirky,weird,beautiful and magical person that you are.”

I have not really done much to put my physical gifts into a tangible expression. Meaning most of my stuff is on-line and in personal diaries and on blogs (on-line type of diary). To actually look at a piece of art I made myself is encouraging to me. Something I DID finish. I am a procrastinator so not always do I finish things or have I finished things.

The quote is not my own of course so a magical goal for the future would be to create an art piece with my own words that I can hold in my hands or display on a wall etc!

That quote was given to me by a person who has been pivotal in my life. We at this stage have stopped talking which is very awkward and almost closed me down for good because she was one of the only people I met with outside the home face to face. But humans are flawed aren’t they as this quote says. The power this art piece has in my life. Is that although there is pain associated with it. That this person helped me find my path is no reason to not keep this quote and its message central in my life. I need to remember you have to take the good with the bad. Keep the good and throw out the bad. 

I see that what she said has helped so I don’t want to discard it. I want to let it empower me to overlook the troubles we have had and choose the good that has come out it. 

I hold onto this and choose what is most important to me. That she too like me has flaws and whatever it was that came between us is the flawed part not that which is precious. And the bad that has come between us does not in anyway diminish the good that remains in both of us. 

Spirit remains. When a body dies spirit does not die. So physical trials and tribulations are not going to stop me. Such as the above I explained and also my one other main obstacle in my creative life.

That is simply having a reason to do it bar that I enjoy it. One of my parodies is. Art is Selfish. I enjoy writing. I enjoy blogging. I enjoy art journaling. I enjoy art. But it is all I focused. Being a believer in GOD. That does seem mighty self centering. A lot of the main gist of Christianity is supposed to be in service to mankind. So there is this wrestle inside me. Is it right to write? Is it right to spend in inordinate amounts of time expressing myself in whatever forms that I choose? 

Obviously expressing myself creatively IS what I flow best in and it is best for an almost deaf person who is not social. It is not a work for me. I have the time and availability to do it.

I like that trials have not shut me down. That I am almost finished this 30 days of Writing Myself Alive and have kept at it even though it has taken me almost twice as long to do it. I have worked with the prompts not chickened out because it was uncomfortable or not my usual choice to write about. At one stage I even filmed myself singing ha ha. That was brave seeing I am almost deaf and was probably out of tune. VERY VERY BRAVE. I had to rewrite the lyrics to a song and make it my own. I decided to film myself singing it lol. Don’t ask me what came over me that day. One of the craziest things I have done. Posted in a private face book group so they didn’t really know me and probably will never want too after this course! 

I am just going to keep going on this journey and do some different things and always do it from my Spirit. The last prompt I shared here has given me some ideas about the direction I can go. I love that as you write things come to you. That is exciting and makes me want to keep going. 

I am proud I can speak about my faith. My faults. My physical limitations. Share my art.. Write my own words. I have gained some positive feedback while doing this course and that has helped me. Definitely shaking myself up and committing to a goal of 30 days of writing helps define what I am wanting and hoping for and keeps me plugging along. Not just doing the same old same old does challenge you. Stretches you. Pushes you out of your comfort zone. I enjoy it. It excites me. It’s flowing which has been oh so needed and once I start writing I don’t find it hard. Being stagnant and stuck was horrible. I can say my passion and my creative call is no longer stuck!! 

  

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s