Keeps Me Praying

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Last night I dreamt of my ex husband… I dream about him often… I don’t understand it though…
He has his own life and there are no physical signs he wants me back in his life..
I have come to the place that whatever relationship on earth I have with him… Eternity is forever and I pray that for him most of all.. That one is assured! But I think why.. Why dream about him so often… It’s hard I get lonely and I don’t want to be single forever.. My circumstances have not been easy.. Being almost deaf… Single mum and having prayed for my future for what feels like forever…
I do cry still over it… It’s been a long long long road… I don’t know what is ahead… I mean people have ideas.. They get into a relationship. They make a career… I don’t have any of that.. I have my kids… I love my kids..

But I didn’t sign anything that said I was going to do this on my own…

I have not given my faith up… God is with me that I know… I smile knowing my own weaknesses… Because in my weakness I see His strength and this kind of tenacity to not give up… I know I don’t have a clue why or how or when… I have prayed for many people like myself over the years… But I have not seen physically too many breakthroughs yet I keep praying.. I wonder though what it is that drives me?
I mean people who see miracles you can understand they being busy… People who are in a group working kinda encourage each other. Even couples together can work and help one another…

But mostly I’m a loner… Yet I keep praying… 🙂 that makes me know something is going on behind the scenes..
That despite tears, frustrations, the lack of physical manifestations, long periods of praying for the same things.. I must have some inner hope that holds me strongly to this life I live… People do pray for me I know it..

But the things I’ve wanted most, dreamed of, hoped for and longed for…. have not happened yet.. Its those things I continually lay at Gods feet… Daily seeking Him for strength, guidance, even sometimes giving up completely cause its too hard yet here I am!

Still in this place… Still hoping… Still believing… Still praying.. Still speaking faith… Bless The Lord O my soul and all that is within me bless Your holy name…

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2 responses »

  1. Sharon, I SO understand all that u are feeling. My divorce was in 2001 and I’ve been alone since then until I met Marvin in 2011. And he’s still not here with me yet. I know ur tears. It hurts. God has something special for u. I never knew I could love like this. God gave me a man who is as in love with me as I am with him. Hold on honey. I will keep u in my prayers. Your time is coming!

    • Thank you Rachel for coming here… I wish I could totally let go and write everything that’s inside… I know you understand I know together we help each other get where God has for us… I pray for you also..

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