Monthly Archives: February 2014

Ordinary Extra

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Today is an ordinary day.
Overcast and cooler.
Unlike other hot summer days we have had.
I feel blah.
I see undone things everywhere.
Feel bloated.
I talk to God feeling unworthy..
Will I ever be super spiritual enough?
Yet even doing daily chores..
Little things can happen to add extra to my ordinary.
I rarely go to the library but for some reason I did today..
I’m in between jobs and waiting..
Today without knowing its free tea and coffee hour..
Only for one hour and I happened to be here for it!
I’m smiling now..
Thanking God for how this came to be.
I see something more in all this.
Something so simple yet it changes my whole day!!!

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Expressing the Bounty

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I just wrote this as a comment to a face book friend who struggled with Valentines Day.. Married too.. I will quote it below..

My answer reveals what HE is becoming to me… Immanuel is just blessing me out… So deliriously happy today.. I’ve chosen to call God “Immanuel” when I speak about him or reference him because Jesus, God, Lord have become too familiar to me… I want a name that is more personal and meaningful to me… My art also reveals I hope all that is happening in my life.. Just really honing my self.. Thoughts… On JESUS with me… Talking lots and lots.. Enjoying… As I might a really good and special friend.. Or a lover even… Its actually incredible how intoxicating this is… How nothing or nobody compares and you are drawn back to HIM… Takes time but the more time you give, the more personal you make it… Creatively even… The more HE reveals Himself to you… Wow!!! I liken the inner feeling today to a young girl whose meeting her idol.. Like for instance she adores “One Direction” and she is finally going to meet them…
The butterflies inside.. The anticipation… And this is for God.. Ha ha who would have thought…

The greatest lover of the universe. Is with you… No man can match HIM.. Somehow being lost in HIS presence all the aches and pains vanish… I longed for years and years for that kind of love.. 18 years married now divorced… I found Mr Love Himself and wooooooooooo I could of had this years and year ago… Put all your energy or whatever you have left onto HIM… Blow you away ha ha… Only the start… Love to you

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Increasing Glory

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How do you explain what your feeling, what you are seeing with spiritual eyes. Being the most unlikely person for it to happen too..

I cover my eyes with my hands (as if that will stop it) its too much LORD.. nobody will believe me.. but everywhere I look there are messages from you.. EVERYWHERE… Ha ha.. you have been telling me they will take notice when miracles start happening.. and I will be hated even more than before. Misunderstood.. but the miracle part… I like that.. I love the bliss inside.. and how beautifully special I feel and sense YOU.. I feel like Im glowing.. I know people who see only me might easily miss it.. but YOU how can anyone not see YOU!!!!! When we start to see YOU.. there is nowhere YOU are not…

I hear YOUR love song to me.. I hear it loud and clearly.. its a cup running over and over even before I see any of the amazing miracles I hear are coming.. They will see me and not understand.. I don’t understand myself. All I know the signs are coming fast and thick now. If only they know and see and hear and feel what I am experiencing without physical miracles already. Im tired but at the same time energised. Intoxicated but able to stand.. like in another world but walking here.. ahhh its how the poets and authors and painters feel they see it all and they try to capture it and truly they are in another time and place and so misunderstood much of the time too.. Its like a vibration constantly feeding into me… I feel my spirit humming or something its strange.. my physical surroundings are much the same even my own physical limitations but you are not aware of the surroundings… less and less they are noticed I guess thats what walking in the spirit feels like..

Today this song woahh… I heard it spiritually.. relating to my relationship with YOU.. I will post link below.. I couldn’t find the lyrics written anywhere… listened to it over and over and over.. it just seems perfectly to speak into my life.. and about how much love I feel from YOU.. I mean I feel the most intense love I have ever felt… like the world around me was created just for me. Its like everything around is fitted together and I am going to implode with the magic of it all.

I swear the messages are everywhere.. I had coffee the other day with a friend.. and she gave me perfume.. Imari.. I looked up the meaning of the name… yep I do that now I am wanting to know the messages around me.. I mean if you are aware of GOD or just starting to be or hungry for it.. I encourage you to start to see everything around you speak.. it doesn’t matter anything can speak to you..
Re below.. I actually am not a good finisher but maybe things are changing.. πŸ™‚ its a sign… see the word “Adventurous” well check out last blog post about the word Adventure being this months word.. lol so right for me… so much of this fits.. but yet its just the meaning of the name of perfume I got.. everything just seems to fit.. Its just I see this in everything… πŸ™‚

What Does Name “Imari” Mean
Your tendency is to finish whatever you start. You like to use the pen or the needle (writing, fashion design etc). You are loving, compassionate, intuitive and humanitarian. Runs of luck, either good or bad, follow you. You are sympathetic, but at times might be touchy and oversensitive. You may have a gift for writing. You are intuitive and might be interested in the arts, drama or science.
You are seeking freedom, opportunities to enjoy life: to make love, to go places and to do things. You are very adventurous and willing to take risk to achieve your objectives. New ways and new experiences can’t satisfy your restless nature. One adventure leads you to another. You are honest and fair, because you know that this is the only way to receive justice and honesty from other people. But your personal growth is vital for your, and it is difficult to be tied down by rules and obligations. Your restless spirit might best controlled by choosing the field of work that meet your demand for action and adventure.

I am just going to try to capture what is going on in my life here. I have prayed a long time without seeing the big things change and kept faith despite much that says different, spent more and more time with GOD seeking HIS heart for many things lately and one has been to experience HIM more and more and of course impact my world.. I fail so much to share it in the fullest measure as I sense it.. but I am still going to try. I know something greater is happening more and more and if it continues to increase and come into all that I believe it will and more .. We are all going to be blown away and blessed and helped..

Dionne Warwick – No one There to Sing Me A Love Song

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February Adventure

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Last night I sensed the LORD all around me. The word Adventure popped up. Word of my month already. Just can sense GOD in what I am reading of late whatever I choose to pick up and I tend to jump from book to book. A word stands out to me and I embrace it not knowing why and suddenly its everywhere!!

Pic below shows “Adventure” for my “2014 Create Your Amazing Year Life Edition book” Oracle card reading for this month of February. I found a stamp with the word on… and also it has become my word for “New Brain Planner” month word for February as well… then I read it in a book last night.. Bam!!! Ha ha.. blew me away.. That it keeps coming up shows something..
I am alone with it physically because the people I could talk too its just not flowing with them right now enough.. so here I am.

What LORD do I do now?

Im typing because well its a release, it helps me commit to something. Gets my thoughts out. I have gifts as a writer.. though more than ever before I have found myself editing and re-editing and not just letting go as I write or even expressing it fully. It doesn’t just flow for me.. most of the time I start and get distracted… I have nothing and time has passed and just blogging is incredible that I actually get something out there.. I sit and I find it hard to get started and then I have to make myself write and like everything in my life with persistance it comes out.. I know I have lots in me but when you have few to talk too it gets pushed down inside.. I bet that happens alot to others too.. It might come out in frustration or I try and talk to the kids and they don’t want to hear.. or I say the wrong things and say too much lol and people close up.

I have been stuck in the past, blank, no direction, yes it leads me back to YOU LORD always that is why I talk about GOD so much and have the relationship I have with HIM.
Yes It feels like something should come of it religiously. I should have results. You know LORD sometimes praying doesn’t seem enough. I can be honest with you. Elaine sent me a post about being an intercessor. I couldnt acknowledge it for a bit. I wanted more lol or different and I don’t feel I am good enough or pray long enough.. Or devoted enough.. Also I have prayed for a long time about things and well they don’t seeem to change maybe that is it.. that I keep praying when others might stop? I don’t know what I pray in tongues.. LORD I ask that just once I learn what I am praying in tongues.

I am still drawn in my art (did art jounalling yesterday) to spiritual things I dont know that I could do anything else. But that I was reading about anointing oil in a book (later on) and I had pasted a picture in my altered book of oil or liquid dripping down from a red source. (see below) The Healing Power, a rainbow, even the words “God loves me.. He has led me…. I found and added.. WOW!!! Pic of kid looking up. A candlestick with lit candles. All very spiritual and very meaningful. I didn’t focus on a background either.. I just used what I had found of recent and it all is coming together that way.. White could symbolise purity.. Hearts going up.. Fullness.. Lot of love. Sacred Place.. On the very next page its where the Bride and Groom certifies that they are married… Coming together of the whole reason the book was created in the first place.. A lot of significance in this… I have a picture of Prince William and Catherine Im sure I will add to that page its not stuck down yet..
Royalty in their wedding finerey I think its the moment they first came out of the church and showed themselves to the world as a married couple. Yes a lot of meaning in that too.. that I am up to that page could signify that GOD is about to show HIMSELF along with me to the world/public openly?? Or show Himself along with HIS bride.. which is His people.. those who join themselves to HIM… happy too be associated with GOD.. Want to be associated with GOD.. He wants the whold world to know HIM… enjoy intimacy and enjoy HIS presence.. Ha ha… I have trouble writing that. I know you don’t have to do anything special to be Gods child. Jesus as Gods son His blood and sacrifice at the cross saved us all but its knowing that and believing that which changes everything. Its just the ones who will experience all the good stuff from knowing what has been done for us will stand out in the world more in days to come. Is what I am trying to say. JESUS is the reason there is peace with GOD, HE is the only way to GOD.. Our salvation.

It couldn’t be any more opposite to real life for me if this art refers to me. I am unknown to the world but I am royalty through the KING of KINGS who is our LORD JESUS in the heavenly Kingdom πŸ™‚ I am just thinking about the symbolism, timing and other things happening in my life.. Reading books about the glory of GOD.. Ha ha.. people have told me JESUS is to be my husband as a single woman.. but I’m human too I want JESUS but also a flesh and blood husband to love on and live with.. People can argue with me but lots of people follow Jesus and have a husband or wife too. πŸ™‚

I am posting this “as is” at the moment.. It might encourage someone. Processes are important to Artists and speak to our own selves and also help us see the meaning and message coming through as we continue to create. Without boasting GOD is literally everywhere to me. Truly apparent in books, media, others art, things people are posting on social media, in my circumstances, so strongly evident around me even as you can see in just one word..
When all seem to be saying similar things at the moment re (why I am so encouraged about this art I am working on) I have to share but I don’t understand my part in it. I can only talk more to HIM, keep working with what I have and am seeing and because its so inspiring me… share it for whatever reason..

I don’t know what it means but when things line up around you, words, books you read, you are believing GOD, seeking HIM more and more, praying, talking to GOD more and more and its unexplainable and yet you know that you know that you know there is something more wonderful at work. You have to DO something with that… Seems an urgency too. Perhaps a timing to things you know you have to deal with it.. do it then and there.. I tend to slack. Procrastinate. Wait. Put things off.. not even commit myself to art/expression every day but why I ask myself? I have a driveness inside me and am frustrated so I pray.. Still not always seeing the value of connection to art/expression and spirituality. I do get annoyed I cannot do anything apart from GOD.. lol.. other artists can do so many other things but for me it always come back to HIM.. I even have to write in capitals πŸ™‚ It just feels right to me.. My way of acknowledging HIM in everything because I know good comes from HIM.. Look I am not trying to put people off but its something sometimes you have to do.. And I need to learn to be ok with what I do.. no matter if anyone understands that or not. Not be ashamed or fearful or held back but be free..

I don’t know why GOD would use me Im basic. I don’t have any great skills. I dont do anything special. Apart from spiritually speaking I am not motivated in any other way or have anything about myself that I could say.. Here is this or that.. this is my offering to the world.. I don’t feel I have an offering except I pray, I have faith and I am alive and I am a fellow human being right here right now writing this. Ha ha I don’t even have a great audience of people that read muah.. No one really seeks me out for council.. I don’t try to stand out I tend to stand back.. πŸ™‚ I guess you might say.. yes but you write personally and you post about it.. Ironic isn’t it. Another thing I do that I do without knowing why. I guess its like the light on a hill scripture. Why put it under a basket or hide it away light is to be seen isn’t it!! I just like to share but strangely enough in a setting with another person I might not think of all this.

Its just so exciting what opens up to me sometimes that I am alone with.. I do struggle to explain it fully so I have to blog or share my art… I have too.. Many times there is literally nobody to talk about this with and I pace the house praying, asking why GOD and what is the purpose and why am I alone with this and what do I do with it? I cannot explain to anyone but its burning burning inside me.. I am called… I know that.. I am here in this world for a purpose… I know there is much more that this world needs that GOD has for us, I believe its out there but I don’t know what it is or what my part in all this is either but I seeking HIM for it… This is my way to express myself, my GOD and my journey..

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To Feel I Belong

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Is what I take away from a healing service I went to last night at Bay City Church in Geelong. I was grinning and laughing all the way home to Ballarat.. Yes my hearing is still impaired but I couldn’t give a stuff about that compared to the warmth, the belonging and the connection I felt to the people around me.

The service was led by John & Julie Mellor. I bought their book too “Miracles in the Dust”. My sister (pic below) bit fuzzy sorry.. Was prayed over for an epileptic condition she has that she takes medication for which gives her blank outs.. Where she literally freezes like pause on a video player for a short time and it impedes her life plus she cannot drive.. A lady who didn’t even know her approached her in the service and said I’ve been praying for you a whole week! Also suffered pain in her shoulder and had trouble lifting her arm.. Pain completely gone!!!
We travelled together last night to the meeting on a very hot summers day.. Like a sauna in that meeting packed with people lol!!!

Will link to their ministry for anyone that’s interested to find out more.. John Mellor Ministries

I’ve been to church almost my entire life and the last few years I felt so disconnected, alone and its the last place I want to be. But last night strangers hugged me, smiled, talked and looked me in the eye! And most of all I felt I belonged. I met two face book friends there which was just so amazing! In the last few weeks I’ve been much more confident meeting people and making connections.. Being social when for a long time I’ve been isolated.
Lindsay who is a Christian from Ballarat I’ve known from church and Facebook sitting right in front with his girlfriend and her children.. I was stunned by them being there sitting in front, it just felt great that we were from the same city and seated so close.. I just knew that was a good sign.
I attended with my younger sister and Lindsay got to meet her and even hugged me goodbye.. It felt so warm, comfortable and natural. I’m usually shy and awkward around people.. Its making me cry write this.. It was a beautiful thing… I just want this so much with everyone, everywhere. I just thank God so much for the love I felt in that place..

I also met Kathy another face book friend who is also deaf/hearing impaired! I’ve never met her face to face only online but saw her face in the crowd and went straight up and said hello! THAT is so unlike me!!! Usually I stand back.. Smile from afar. But nope I wanted to say hello.. She also met my sister too! How amazing in one night to meet two people like that lol!!!!! Yippe I’m social!!!

I haven’t even felt that kind of love and connection always even from my own family.. Not placing blame its probably more to do with me being shy, damaged inside and self conscious but whatever it was more, more, more I say!!!

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