I Need a Life Change

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Its Sunday… still in pjs…. This is going to be blunt lol and I think people will be surprised.. but this is me and its time to be completely honest and change things.. maybe sharing it honestly will help lol or scare people away..

I am doing my “2014 Create your Amazing Year life edition work book and planner” by Leonnie Dawson. I am in her academy for a year since September I think.

Doing the page that asks… Darlingheart… (and I love that) Darlingheart, what do you most want to experience 2014 as?

I could have just put the title of this blog post.. I NEED A LIFE CHANGE..

These are answers to the question above.. things I want to experience 2014 as.. Same as in photo image…

To be varied..
Im really boring.. I stay in my room too much… I don’t work because I am severely hearing impaired and I get a pension. Plus my ex husband pays child support so I get enough to live.. Also the kids and I share a house with my parents and our expenses are low… I mean I don’t have to work.. but I definitely don’t take advantage of this or live a full life I waste it.. 😦 over the years of my life.. deteriorating hearing.. marriage probs and finally over years till the divorce and beyond I just stopped a lot of things and got lazy which makes me boring..

Make plans…
I never or rarely plan.. Enough said…

Do different things..
Well that kind of goes with the varied theme above.. but I know I could do things differently and change things and that might help… I tend to do the same things the same way and eat the same foods lol… not a great person for change…

Be daring….
ha ha yes I guess sharing publicly is being daring.. so there I am doing this.. πŸ™‚ but taking some risks.. and trying new things might bring some pizazz into my life..

Stop the fricken waiting..
yes I tend to put things off.. wait for things to happen instead of make them happen.. I have dreams you know that haven’t died.. but I do nothing to help be in the right place for them to happen.. Like meeting a guy.. they don’t just knock on the family house door and ask to date you.. or meet you.. I wish..
I need to do things or be places or at least meet people to find a soul mate… Ha ha.. not just day dream… I have waited a long long time for love.. the kind of love I have dreamed about.. but he is not going to just zap into my little house is he…. I need to go meet him or at least be out there, putting myself in placees where he might run into me…

Stick at things…
I procrastinate.. I also put things off.. and I do a little of this.. and a little of that.. and then get frustrated because I have unfinished projects and mess and things mounting up I need to attend… a growing number of books that I start to read and move on to another book.. ohhhh… I feel so much better having accomplished something.. I even have books on motivation and de-cluttering and changing your life but start to read and follow and don’t finish of course..

Better organised….
on my bed beside me I have books, art supplies, diaries, papers, etc.. though my room is a lot cleaner than it can be sometimes… I have been working on that some lately.. more is required and I have to keep at it..

Busier..
well lately as its school holidays.. summer break.. I get up late.. go to bed late.. yes I think you can see how things would flow on from that.. or not flow on from that..

Bear fruit
.. is a christian concept where we think of results as per life and how your living and what is being produced.. I know because of how I am living.. I am not getting the the results I would like or have the possibility of producing..

Stop wasting time..
thats pretty obvious isn’t it. Hours can pass by and nothing to show for it.. The more aware of this I am.. the more I hate it.. but that thing I don’t want to do I end up doing..

Enjoy it.
You can just go through life and live.. or you can go through life and enjoy living.. Big difference isn’t there… In my own way I enjoy it.. but to savour the people around me better.. the experiences and every day life… It takes thought, time and application.. Set your heart and mind on that.. Also spiritually to enjoy GOD more too.. and thats something I definitely want to do more of…

Fuller year…
Fits with so much already said above.. My mother can pack so much more into a suitcase or box by her creativity and wisdom.. With more thought and wisdom and yes that word that I have hated but see the life changes it can bring.. Planning…. we can have a fuller year..

Keep moving through it with purpose…
Have you seen the soapies/drama’s where the actor or actress looks off into space for a brief moment which I have not yet ever seen another person do like that lol.. thats exactly what I do in real life but in a sharon way.. I just switch off and thats where my problems start.. when I do that.. I lose momentum and find myself distracted.. Then I move off into never never land and don’t return.. I don’t mean the never never land thats fun and frolicsome.. I mean the never never land that sucks you dry and you come back emptier and more zombie like.. To be moving.. keep going means I might commit myself and get something done and when I do have time to create, read, write, or whatever that actually might be enjoyed and find myself blessed for it at the end.

Even writing this above is good for me.. Because I am thinking about myself and life as I write and Im getting ideas on how or what to do different…. also I am writing and not wasting time.. Every time I do write its keeping my mind at work and motivating me… I will finish it so I can post.. Knowing others will see it means I want to do things differently because then I have some updates to post at a later date or just if someone says something that encourages me it does help.. Something about airing publicly that makes you realise you now have less secrets and more people know and you want to (eek) better yourself because they now know.. πŸ™‚ and its a bit embarrassing…

Many years ago when I told the deepest darkest struggles to a trusted friend… How I was struggling with lots of little kids, and a messy house, failure at doing what I should and all the problems that were going on around that time..
She said.. “But you can do better”…. wow.. I spiralled.. for a long time after that and although there have been positive changes since and much hard times too.. I still struggle with many things you can see above.. I can be a lazy and unmotivated shit.. 😦

She had it altogether.. Still has… I read a recent family christmas letter.. and the family.. still married and thriving.. kids having own families… Great jobs and many life “wow” moments..

I know I can do better.. and its not the low blow as it was back then to ponder it.. But its to do it.. keep at it.. its one thing to write it down.. know it.. but another thing altogether to get off your butt and do it.. Now to start somewhere… and invoke an amazing 2014!

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6 responses »

  1. You’ve realized all of the things that u want to change and need God’s help with. That is the first step! I’m going thru some changes myself that I asked Him to help me with. It’s amazing how much He loves us and is willing to help us to be happy. I don’t know what I would do without God!

    • Thank you so much for personally coming here that means so much.. Secondly sharing that you too are going through changes helps.. Your encouragement and care blesses me no end my beautiful friend.. I certainly don’t know what I would do without God either!!!

  2. Dear Sharon,

    I have just finished reading your blog and feel compelled to reach out to you. My mum only had 10% hearing for over 15 years. Last year, though having private health cover she had an operation for a cochlear implant in Melbourne. It has taken time, and she has had to relearn sounds again.

    The cochlear implant has changed the quality of life around for my mum – she can enjoy having a conversation, no one is shouting at her, and she is more inclined to get out of the house and attend craft markets, community garden days and fun family events.

    My mum occasionally visits Ballarat to see my sister.

    If a cochlear implant appeals to you and you would like to talk to my mum about her story, let me know.

    It’s great that you are sharing your stories online and with the world. When you can’t hear it can be very isolating.

    Luv

    Kerry

  3. Hi Sharon,

    Sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I finally spoke to my mum. Having a cochlear implant depends on the level of deafness. My mum recommended having a hearing test done first at a hearing clinic. She went to Mr Niall McCochie (an ear, nose and throat specialist in Errad St, Ballarat). More than 70% hearing, then hearing aids can help. If hearing is less than 70% then an implant would be recommended. My mum put off going for a hearing test for 15 years. Times have changed. Technology has changed. It is your journey and I hope this information helps.
    Love
    Kerry

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