Love of a Another Kind


Sitting here in the purest of raptures.
Like being intoxicated.
So peaceful.
Feel like my face is glowing..
The atmosphere seems charged with good vibrations.
Though physically I’m alone..
I’m so in bliss.. I don’t feel lonely at all.. Totally accepted..
My face wreathed in a kind of silly grin..
Deep inside a kind of unexplainable warmth and honey like sense..

If you had a lover with you it would be described as the kind of heavy but nice feeling of being desired and awake to all your physical senses.. But its not something that builds and is released.. Its a heavy presence that your totally satisfied within and out at the same time and totally at ease.. You don’t need anything else at that moment.. I know with sex… right.. you have a build up.. and release.. you are driven wild for culmination of your bodily desires.. Its the way GOD has created us.. but with the spiritual heightening.. its not something you need more of when your aware of it.. your sort of paralysed lol in the nicest way.. Its too good but yet somehow you endure it.. Everyone likes the peak.. but you climb down the mountain.. What if you were in the valley and still had the mountain top experience.. 🙂 thats how I am going to describe it.. You know something wonderful is going on inside, outside of you.. but I certainly cannot see it or easily explain it..

Being single I miss physical affection.. I get lots of hugs from my kids.. and sometimes friends.. but that is not the kind I mean.. But this spiritual high.. enlightenment.. rapture.. yes does supersede physical I suppose.. Physical desires can come and go.. they can drive you crazy if you cannot find fulfilment.. But they are short lived.. people take medication to get longer satisfaction….. You need helps right.. to get you there.. or you need someone else.. but spiritually speaking.. you can be alone and it doesn’t stop GODS presence neither does your status in life.. You cannot earn this.. or work for it.. but I will say.. You need to spend time in HIS presence.. talking to HIM.. the more you are aware of GOD.. the more wonderful the experience is.. I talk alot to HIM.. ha ha I will say not always by choice.. Im not so spiritual I am continually praying and interceding for nations.. not like that at all.. My kids see me talking to myself.. so more like a nutter.. ha ha.. but talking to GOD for me is natural.. you tell it all.. all of it.. not like prayer.. more like continual conversations through the day and anything and everything.. Yes and normal prayer requests.. someone sick.. someone hurting.. someone needing help etc

Now I get frustrated.. because yes I long for human contact.. being deaf.. or severely hard of hearing.. Im in my own world as far as communication is concerned.. and being single I don’t have a lover or husband.. so I get frustrated with GOD because I have wanted love… romance for a long long time.. the kind of soul relationship long time lovers have.. But GOD has not given that to me.. not yet.. not the way I want.. or think I want..

But yet I cannot say that HE has withheld Himself.. HE is a lover.. thats for sure.. and HE can show YOU much much more.. than one can easily explain.. HE loves.. HE gifts.. HE blesses.. HE favours.. HE is real.. HE is able to supersede our understanding.. I can understand people not knowing HIM.. because HE is not like humans.. We are made in HIS image.. but HE is far greater than our capacity to understand.. HE is beyond our minds.. and even the wisest man or woman on earth is minute in comparison of wisdom they can achieve.. No wonder there are atheists.. That I can understand.. Because if you come in your humanity.. you will fall very very short.. There is a place for the faith of a child.. very much so.. GOD knows it.. and HE can withdraw the awareness of HIMSELF.. HE has done that world over.. you can see it.. but its not that HE wants people not to know HIM its actually just the opposite..

I know this.. because in my personal struggles I have isolated.. some part was not my fault.. but other parts I choose it… I do so sometimes to see if people really want me.. really want my presence and miss me.. GOD has shown me that many men and women seek HIM and want to understand HIM.. but there hearts are far from HIM.. They have it all wrong.. not really wanting HIM.. HIS presence at all.. so HE will appear to be distant to get them to desire HIM more.. But they turn to all manner of things and HE is jealous for them.. yes HE actually really really wants us.. But he is like a jealous lover making himself scarce so that we come after HIM.. Hiding if you like but still there.. close.. very close..

In my day dreams and dreams I desire to be wanted.. sought out.. and ha ha hotly pursued.. and it appears so does GOD… I told HIM.. you have millions who follow HIM.. but he said few seek HIS heart.. they follow HIM but not with their whole hearts.. It is possible to be in a room with someone speaking but your mind is elsewhere.. you are thinking about other things and not really fully present.. GOD said people are the same when they pray.. they are not really talking to HIM.. but asking for this and that.. and not really talking.. communicating with HIM.. HE has told me just to enjoy HIM.. But you know religion has burdened us.. because from what I have experienced all my life.. its about what we are doing for GOD.. and oh yes all that we are not doing.. Yet how often do you get taught to enjoy GOD?? When its all about HIM.. you are free.. free to be yourself.. free to love.. free to enjoy life and GOD and each other.. free to get on with living…

GOD is GOD.. he is great.. I mean look at the whole world.. the flowers, trees, every single human you know.. and HE made all that.. how do you get your mind around that.. its impossible.. but yet its HIM.. HIS signature everywhere.. and yet we are tiny in comparison.. but we really do want to know so little about HIM..

I do hope and pray.. ask GOD.. that somehow this isolation.. or intimacy I have with HIM.. cause HE is always here.. so I am never really alone ever.. and I’m aware more times than not of HIM.. that something greater comes of it.. I do so little out in the world.. I see so few people.. I don’t work out of the home even.. yet GOD is with me.. and I do what little I can.. like writing this now.. and I leave it in HIS hands.. and hope it speaks in some way.. you can easily see my humanness I just pray that through my weakness HIS greatness is shining!!

I am going to include a picture.. a expression.. a piece of art I came across.. through reading a book called.. “The Life of Teresa of Avila” this sculpture created by Gian Lorenzo Bernini. Called the “Ecstasy of Saint Teresa” and it displays intense spiritual and physical experience.. Other worldly.. heavenly.. woah.. lol…

Just because it fits with the experience I have had of GODS great love and how its heavenly and how it just completely “undoes” us physically and its all very very good.. Mine of course.. nothing like this.. but it encourages my heart to see this.. If you search further you can see it in more detail and read more information.. its very interesting..



3 responses »

  1. Just also want to add that I have had similar thoughts lately, that I don’t “do much” in the world’s eyes. I am home taking care of my son and my daughter….. But He knows everything. Thank you for reminding me and encouraging me to get back on the right path to HIM and HIS HEART.

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