Monthly Archives: October 2013

Soul Writing

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I’m doing three pages of writing every day as part of a book study I am taking part in.. “The Artist’s Way.. A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity’.. This is almost the whole of it from this morning ha ha my noted book is A5 so not the biggest pages you can get.. its incredible what comes out when you get GOD involved in your writing..

Today we were encouraged for the whole of this week.. being week 6 to focus in our morning pages on “The God I do believe in and the God I would like to believe in..”

This below is my first for the week at looking at this.. and what came of it today.. Not always can I simply write on what is expected and go off in a tangent on something related..

LORD = I believe in a close GOD. You being here with me always. You want intimacy with me daily, often.
My whole heart and soul. That you know whats best for me. Troubles are not the gauge to anything do with You.. Works through weakness. I am talking about what I’ve learnt. Not to lean on my own understanding. Definitely not!!!
Not about the God in the bible. But about the God of ———— Street. In my house. Not a God in a church. A God in my heart/room. Goes everywhere. Who knows everything. Longing for every word that comes out. Actually enjoys my presence. Isn’t phased by pj’s, unmade beds and unpaid bills. He’s interested in Me.
In my expressions, my hopes, my frustrations. He’s patient to listen to the very last detail. He doesn’t leave ever. Incredible really. I wouldn’t change anything except to be more aware of His presence. To be more aware of “what is”. To be honest, if you really think about it, this doesn’t seem enough. Just talking. Just being. Just….
I don’t know. I mean your heart longs for intimacy right. But who could “be there” like God. I mean for everything? Nobody could. Soul rests in His presence so what more could you want than that. Mary was commended for wanting more of His presence. We see this is an essence of His heart. (Time) What are we longing for? Meaning, purpose. You get the idea He is not in a hurry. What can you do but “Breathe” and enjoy that.
Nothing seems pressing anyway when you are in communion with Him.
Like a big ancient tree. You just sit beside it. Admiring it. Being shaded. Watching the branches dance in the wind. His majesty towering over you. Seems a sacred, safe place. So in His presence its sacred/safe and comforting.
Is there a connection you feel to earth, sky and nature in the tree?
To your roots. To Soul/Spirit.
Strength. Breathe in oxygen. Deep into your lungs. You take that with you. Longing to return again. Yet spiritually we don’t need to lose that sense. The tree, re majesty, sacredness is within. I know people meditate. Sit for hours. Peace. Breathe. But God is within. God is peace.. God is breath. God is out.
God is everywhere. Get a sense you need nothing but to see Him always. So that nothing blocks His view. So that He may even manifest physically because Your aware. The veil is thin. So aware. So aware. No longer seeing but being Heaven on earth. Heaven is here.

((You know touching on that last part of Jesus/God actually appearing.. or manifesting physically.. I have had that happen re an online friend.. he is a male friend.. online.. rarely see his face.. only spoken on skype a couple of time.. don’t know why.. just haven’t. Chat online.. in pieces through the day.. every day.. closest friend I have really ever had.. and there are times.. in my physical life.. when for just a flash.. I am visualising him beside me.. its very weird.. Once was when I was out walking my dog.. I think about things while I walk.. I don’t remember what exactly I was thinking about this particular day.. but for a very short time.. I actually saw him walking beside me.. suddenly he was there.. I mean he wasn’t physically but I had a type of vision where he was walking by my side.. Weird huh that has never happened like that before.. Another time I was sitting at my dining table.. and I just quickly imagined him sitting there.. just like he suddenly appeared.. Seemed so natural.. and then he was gone.. Another time third and final ha ha.. I just saw his hand.. I was thinking about what it would be like to meet him (at the time) cause known online for years.. and I started thinking of his hands (he is an artist) and I saw a quick vision of his hand.. Ok now you think I am crazy.. but I can relate to the fact that if you know someone really well that its possible to have the memory so much inside you.. or spiritual sense.. that you might start to see them.. Thats what dreams are aren’t they!! Apparently some people can see their loved ones with them.. or sense things about them.. Don’t know what it means.. but those separate incidences just get me thinking about the spiritual realm and that there is so much more to all our lives and the cosmos than we currently know.. ))

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Love of a Another Kind

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Sitting here in the purest of raptures.
Like being intoxicated.
So peaceful.
Feel like my face is glowing..
The atmosphere seems charged with good vibrations.
Though physically I’m alone..
I’m so in bliss.. I don’t feel lonely at all.. Totally accepted..
My face wreathed in a kind of silly grin..
Deep inside a kind of unexplainable warmth and honey like sense..

If you had a lover with you it would be described as the kind of heavy but nice feeling of being desired and awake to all your physical senses.. But its not something that builds and is released.. Its a heavy presence that your totally satisfied within and out at the same time and totally at ease.. You don’t need anything else at that moment.. I know with sex… right.. you have a build up.. and release.. you are driven wild for culmination of your bodily desires.. Its the way GOD has created us.. but with the spiritual heightening.. its not something you need more of when your aware of it.. your sort of paralysed lol in the nicest way.. Its too good but yet somehow you endure it.. Everyone likes the peak.. but you climb down the mountain.. What if you were in the valley and still had the mountain top experience.. ๐Ÿ™‚ thats how I am going to describe it.. You know something wonderful is going on inside, outside of you.. but I certainly cannot see it or easily explain it..

Being single I miss physical affection.. I get lots of hugs from my kids.. and sometimes friends.. but that is not the kind I mean.. But this spiritual high.. enlightenment.. rapture.. yes does supersede physical I suppose.. Physical desires can come and go.. they can drive you crazy if you cannot find fulfilment.. But they are short lived.. people take medication to get longer satisfaction….. You need helps right.. to get you there.. or you need someone else.. but spiritually speaking.. you can be alone and it doesn’t stop GODS presence neither does your status in life.. You cannot earn this.. or work for it.. but I will say.. You need to spend time in HIS presence.. talking to HIM.. the more you are aware of GOD.. the more wonderful the experience is.. I talk alot to HIM.. ha ha I will say not always by choice.. Im not so spiritual I am continually praying and interceding for nations.. not like that at all.. My kids see me talking to myself.. so more like a nutter.. ha ha.. but talking to GOD for me is natural.. you tell it all.. all of it.. not like prayer.. more like continual conversations through the day and anything and everything.. Yes and normal prayer requests.. someone sick.. someone hurting.. someone needing help etc

Now I get frustrated.. because yes I long for human contact.. being deaf.. or severely hard of hearing.. Im in my own world as far as communication is concerned.. and being single I don’t have a lover or husband.. so I get frustrated with GOD because I have wanted love… romance for a long long time.. the kind of soul relationship long time lovers have.. But GOD has not given that to me.. not yet.. not the way I want.. or think I want..

But yet I cannot say that HE has withheld Himself.. HE is a lover.. thats for sure.. and HE can show YOU much much more.. than one can easily explain.. HE loves.. HE gifts.. HE blesses.. HE favours.. HE is real.. HE is able to supersede our understanding.. I can understand people not knowing HIM.. because HE is not like humans.. We are made in HIS image.. but HE is far greater than our capacity to understand.. HE is beyond our minds.. and even the wisest man or woman on earth is minute in comparison of wisdom they can achieve.. No wonder there are atheists.. That I can understand.. Because if you come in your humanity.. you will fall very very short.. There is a place for the faith of a child.. very much so.. GOD knows it.. and HE can withdraw the awareness of HIMSELF.. HE has done that world over.. you can see it.. but its not that HE wants people not to know HIM its actually just the opposite..

I know this.. because in my personal struggles I have isolated.. some part was not my fault.. but other parts I choose it… I do so sometimes to see if people really want me.. really want my presence and miss me.. GOD has shown me that many men and women seek HIM and want to understand HIM.. but there hearts are far from HIM.. They have it all wrong.. not really wanting HIM.. HIS presence at all.. so HE will appear to be distant to get them to desire HIM more.. But they turn to all manner of things and HE is jealous for them.. yes HE actually really really wants us.. But he is like a jealous lover making himself scarce so that we come after HIM.. Hiding if you like but still there.. close.. very close..

In my day dreams and dreams I desire to be wanted.. sought out.. and ha ha hotly pursued.. and it appears so does GOD… I told HIM.. you have millions who follow HIM.. but he said few seek HIS heart.. they follow HIM but not with their whole hearts.. It is possible to be in a room with someone speaking but your mind is elsewhere.. you are thinking about other things and not really fully present.. GOD said people are the same when they pray.. they are not really talking to HIM.. but asking for this and that.. and not really talking.. communicating with HIM.. HE has told me just to enjoy HIM.. But you know religion has burdened us.. because from what I have experienced all my life.. its about what we are doing for GOD.. and oh yes all that we are not doing.. Yet how often do you get taught to enjoy GOD?? When its all about HIM.. you are free.. free to be yourself.. free to love.. free to enjoy life and GOD and each other.. free to get on with living…

GOD is GOD.. he is great.. I mean look at the whole world.. the flowers, trees, every single human you know.. and HE made all that.. how do you get your mind around that.. its impossible.. but yet its HIM.. HIS signature everywhere.. and yet we are tiny in comparison.. but we really do want to know so little about HIM..

I do hope and pray.. ask GOD.. that somehow this isolation.. or intimacy I have with HIM.. cause HE is always here.. so I am never really alone ever.. and I’m aware more times than not of HIM.. that something greater comes of it.. I do so little out in the world.. I see so few people.. I don’t work out of the home even.. yet GOD is with me.. and I do what little I can.. like writing this now.. and I leave it in HIS hands.. and hope it speaks in some way.. you can easily see my humanness I just pray that through my weakness HIS greatness is shining!!

I am going to include a picture.. a expression.. a piece of art I came across.. through reading a book called.. “The Life of Teresa of Avila” this sculpture created by Gian Lorenzo Bernini. Called the “Ecstasy of Saint Teresa” and it displays intense spiritual and physical experience.. Other worldly.. heavenly.. woah.. lol…

Just because it fits with the experience I have had of GODS great love and how its heavenly and how it just completely “undoes” us physically and its all very very good.. Mine of course.. nothing like this.. but it encourages my heart to see this.. If you search further you can see it in more detail and read more information.. its very interesting..

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HEALING

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The post is about the art canvas below which is my “Healing” piece for the “Creative Goddess” e course I’m doing for week three from Leonie Dawson’s Amazing Life and Biz Academy.

I have not been working through it week by week but instead working… no plodding through it at my own pace. This is my first collage canvas ever, also first time to use Gesso to prime the base and Decoupage craft glue to paste and coat my art.. A bit of a learning process but I have thoroughly enjoyed doing this..

We were encouraged to infuse it with our spirit (my words) so I laid hands on my canvas before I started… praying it would be a healing piece that GODs Spirit would guide me as I created it and that it would bring healing to me when I looked at it and that it would bless me and/or bring a blessing of healing to anyone who saw it.

I recently visited the National Gallery of Victoria and it was believe it or not the first time I’ve been and I was overcome by how there was a presence around the art pieces and in the rooms where you went to view it.. The older paintings especially.. there seemed a real aura in the room.. It wasn’t just pictures on a wall.. I felt an atmosphere that I cannot explain. It was very evident to me.. and very exciting and so as I continue on my creative journey its all becoming so much more meaningful to me.

This piece is layered in the back ground with personal computer printed letters via emails and forums, messages I’ve received in the past online because as my hearing has deteriorated online has been my world.
Actually all of them I’ve chosen to use are from friends.. who have been my main influence as family through GOD online and many never seen face to face. Prayers, scriptures, pictures and words I’ve chosen to include that are personal to me and part of the background of who I am and what I consider that helps me be who I am.. So many virtual strangers over the years yet connected through Spirit.. who have loved on me, listened to me and helped me through hard times and good times.. I also used to encourage many others every day which always gave me encouragement back.. be it other grieving parents, hurting friends and strangers and pray for them as well as ask others to pray for me.. I wanted to still read some of the words so I only washed the background lightly with water colour paint.. Using light blue, pink and gold.. I’m not going to explain everything lol.. because art is supposed to be expression enough.. I haven’t quite learnt that part yet..

I put my tears lightly in the background.. because there was a lot of pain in my past.. over the loss of our baby son, struggles in my marriage and the divorce.. and all the suffering that brings.. I actually first considered doing a complete positive piece.. But GOD was prompting me to keep it real. I mean HE has shown me Himself through pain and suffering and in my weakness I have witnessed and understood HIS strength..

Peace of course represents GOD and HIS “peace that surpasses all understanding” as GODs ways are always higher than ours.. I experienced this “other worldly..” peace when our baby was sick, died and afterwards and it is truly not able to be explained how great it is but you know that its not earthly.. Definately not normal and also not of yourself so even though others may not believe in GOD.. you cannot see any other way through but to trust in HIM and its all OK…

Wonderfully I remember sensing.. or knowing in my spirit that it was not just about that period, that time, that particular hardship I was going through.. A “knowing” that this peace went back into my past and also extended forward into the future for everything else. How I could know that I cannot explain.. Heavenly things are like that.. Its huge though and so powerful and wonderful this peace and is everything to me and life changing because its GOD and HE is so important to me… I know He’s with me all the way through my life..

The canvas looks a bit messy, life is like that.. but the presence of GOD.. so big… encompasses all.. includes all things for HIS good and higher purpose and brings everything together.. to completion.. wholeness and yes healing!! You know I must add.. I experienced HIS peace through the death of baby.. through a divorce.. and through isolation.. None of those circumstances represent actual healing.. actual wholeness.. YET.. But you have incredible hope which is also unearthly.

Through all this.. you see something greater happening.. you do sense.. a greater plan at work through it all.. that you got to this point and still believe.. That no matter what you have found internal peace and hope and strength something many grasp for and desire.. and somehow you know it will all work out and that it hasn’t yet means its not the end yet!

(Two views – so over cast here today and terrible light) first has Dove image stamped.. )

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My Words for Today

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Incredible is a word I would use to describe the power of one word.. or two words together..
And how they can set the tone for your day.. just choosing them or being aware of your surroundings. The messages that are coming in to your world through different means..

To explain. I subscribe to a monthly magazine called “Right Brain Planner”.. It is my first month to subscribe.
And in the magazine is a monthly planner consisting of all the days of whatever month it is. Currently being October. Empty squares to fill in whatever way takes your fancy.. I’m still learning but I have noticed that the others who also have joined this venture.. Write words for each day, some span a few days and its an amazing experience to take part in.
How I choose my words is they come up in my day or previous days. Might be a word I read and it keeps coming up again and again.. Or a short phrase that keeps coming up or stands out to me for whatever reason.

Today’s for me is New Moon.

One reason being.. I love the “Twilight” series by Stephanie Meyers and have a poster on my wall from the second in the series “New Moon”. Another reason is I am reading a book on my Kindle called “Emily of New Moon” by LM Montgomery. And also an online community of art journalling ladies I’m in is thinking of doing a get together and one suggestion is meeting in March next year on a date considered “New Moon”.

That’s three times its come up and is what I have picked for today’s word.. I think I would fall off my chair ha ha if it was currently new moon phase in Victoria Australia today.. which I just checked but it isn’t.

So instead I look at meanings of this phrase to encourage myself searching online to find amongst other things what I have added below..

* In Christian symbolism featuring Virgin Mary with the new moon it resonates with the concepts of purity, peace, illumination and perfection..
Weirdly enough “Illumination” was my word for Thursday, Friday and Saturday just passed.. Interesting huh.. I will show a picture of my month so far at the bottom of this post..
* New Moon symbolises new beginnings, a fresh start and rebirth.
Another funny thing is this fitted with my current month too… yesterdays words were.. “Letting Go” so new beginnings resonate here don’t they!
* Psalm 104:19 “HE made the moon to mark the seasons; the sun knows when to set.”
* Created order not chaotic. (Sun and moon, times and seasons)
* The word used for New Moon is Hebrew “Rosh Chodesh” literally means “beginning, head or renewal.”
Time of Spiritual renewal.

**From site : http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Hebrew_Roots/New_Moon**

**All through the scriptural record, the New Moon was a day when the prophets heard from Yahweh, being a day designated for waiting upon Yahweh, for discerning His purposes and for prophetic revelation. Isaiah 47:13; Ezekiel 26:1; 29:17; 31:132:1; Haggai 1: 1** They have made an error there so one of the scripture references does not work..

This just above is “woah” to me mind blowing.. because just before I started some research and study on these words today including meanings.. I had a heart to heart with GOD myself.. asking for discernment.. for exactly that.. HIS revealing to me HIS purposes for me and yes I also do desire prophetic type revelations.. So according to my words.. this is exactly the right day or moment for me to ask GOD on a “New Moon” day.. Really really encouraged me… How these chosen words fit in right now. So I had to share this here..

Aren’t these things inspiring.. Great meaning for “New Moon” and my choice of words to symbolise today. I even found a moon sticker in my art stash.. LOL…

This is the site where you can find out about “Right Brain Planner” and even subscribe yourself.. I’d love to meet you and see what you do with your zine, your month and what messages you receive for your days ahead!!

www.rightbrainplanner.com

Attention – added 11:37pm tonight.. Wow I walked dog this afternoon and what did I see but the moon even in the day on my horizon.. Wow had to return and add this in.. Last night I also downloaded an iPhone ap called “Sky Guide” today while walking I took a pic and right in front of me along with the moon ( viewed in ap) was the sign of Aquarius.. Now I don’t follow star signs but interesting that this is my birth sign.. Right in my path in the sky today! God aligning around me or I’m just waking up to it.. Included collage pic below.. Shows ap, view through ap of sky as I walked and a pic of moon! Woah!!!

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My Letting Go..

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I have joined the “Amazing Biz & Life Academy” through Leonie Dawson.. and am working through one of her courses.. If that is the right way to say it.. Called “Creative Goddess E Course”.. One of the projects in week 2 is to create a “Transformation arrow” a type of tool or creative way to let go of things in my life and from my personal self that are holding me back from being all that I can be..

Now part of the course is listening to video teachings.. and also I’m supposed to listen to meditations. Unfortunately with hearing loss so bad.. I cannot do the meditations.. because I cannot hear them properly.. Also the videos I miss bits here and there.. but thankfully I get the gist of most of it..

Being a christian.. or believer in GOD there are things she suggests in the course I choose to do differently.. this particular activity I changed my “Transformation arrow” into a Cross.. Same thing she’s suggesting but created a cross instead out of sticks I found outdoors. I will post a picture of my cross… finished work below..

From a Christian & Spiritual perspective.. Jesus did take away my sins, failures and all that separates me from being fully free and from a connection with GOD on a cross made of wood; being all human shortfalls whatever they might be..

Its true even though we are freed from all bad, evil, sin, short-falls, any type of curse on humanity etc.. (all done for us already on the cross) we still carry these things into and through our lives by how we mentally and physically cope and because of what happens to us and how it affects us. These things consist of words/actions/people’s influence on us in whatever way they affect us (family, friends, enemies or people we meet along our path in life) and it can hold us back.

Some things we cannot help suffer from but other things we can let go of and be free from..

Its these things that I considered and secured to the cross.. I wrote down things I felt about myself that are negative.. or others have said about me and too me that I’ve struggled with.. traumatic experiences that happened to me.. plus my own failings etc.. Anything that I could attribute to sucking joy out of my life and that could hold me down.. I wrote them on pieces of coloured paper and attached them to the cross and it symbolised letting go of them.. For example one thing I added was my divorce.. and another was the sense of feeling invisible..

Then I painted the cross “Red”, covering over all those words.. all those feelings.. all those things in my life that I wanted freedom from that I no longer wanted to control me and carry into the rest of my life.. that I am willing to let go of… I kept painting till all that was left is a red bloody cross..

The blood of JESUS came from HIS holy self as HE says and I believe HE was the son of GOD.. His doing what he did with HIS perfect self gives me if I choose to believe it and celebrate it.. Freedom… from all that this personally means to me!! Just talking about myself here.. ๐Ÿ™‚

I even found that the process represented what Jesus did.. As I used a whole tube of red paint in the process.. At the end the tube was empty, spent of its colour and devoid of its contents and was changed by what happened to it.. now all it is good for is to be thrown away.

It got messy and the stick is ugly.. but it is finished.. it seems brutal yet all of my problems are now no longer visible under the paint.. which GOD also says the same because of the spent life of HIS son which was horrific in its entirety .. the giving up of HIS life.. the brutality of losing every drop of HIS blood… now because of this.. my shortfalls, my failings and others failing against me have been finished with too.. They have been taken care of completely by HIS blood..

Leonie suggests burning the transformation arrow at the end to signify total freedom and letting go.. I don’t need to burn the cross and the beauty of her course is and is said throughout.. (remember there isn’t any right or wrong way to do this course. Its all perfect)..

To me and for me in this activity I consider the blood of CHRIST is enough.. What the blood signifies to my soul, spirit and self including my past, present and future is.. I am free because of what happened on this cross.. freed to be fully me.. Freed of all my own personal mistakes and failings and freed from all mistakes and failings done to me and even free from the way I am negative about myself..

The wonderful thing is.. it is my choice to receive and also my choice to let go of all of this..

All that was written down.. documented.. expressed by me and all that I wrote about what has been done to me that holds me back… clips my wings.. is now secured to my cross and covered by the blood..

If you look at the picture.. it just seems that its the cross alone.. a red bloody mess of sticks.. Believe me there are short words/sentences written on paper on every part of these sticks.. but even in this picture they are not really visible.. Amazing..

This is my letting go….

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