Journal Prayer

Good morning LORD… soon as I can YOUR first.. but I am glad I have washing drying on the line.. Oldest daughter took kids to school and I am dressed and showered and I have done my dishes!!!
Just feels better that is all..

Well here I am LORD.. and here YOU are.. I saw YOUR hand upon me yesterday.. I know YOU were with me.. and YOU know all about me.. I am happy now.. I am concentrating on YOU.. I do need to let go of some things.. AGAIN.. lol… but Im so glad YOU are here.. and this is possible.. and I can type write my prayer/ talk or whatever it is.. YOUR grace is sufficient for all things… Praise YOU for this..

I am going to see everything perfect..
I liked this quote I read somewhere yesterday.. Nisgardatta’s magic words _ “In my world nothing ever goes wrong” This is my salvation today.. YOU.. your grace… your mercy.. your forgiveness.. your view.. your love.. your perfection.. your glory.. your way.. your truth.. your life.. your hope.. your strength.. That this is how YOU see things.. this is YOUR realm.. YOU don’t see the failures.. you just see perfect us… Amazing.. I mean that knowledge swallows up all the niggly, horrible things that I could think about and vent with you..

YOU pointed some things out to me as I slept.. so I did wake up and scribble them down.. it is strange times.. but I feel keeping my focus on YOU is what will bring me through.. Its not about what happens to me.. or even the things that come against me or even what is not happening.. or what people think or don’t think.. Its about YOU.. and in YOU I am holy.. ohhh that is good news.. funny I feel this one should be published.. weeird..

Problems last night again with a person.. unnamed because YOU know.. but in YOU this is already dealt with.. and even though I got frustrated.. sad.. angry.. disappointed.. could have said so much more and wanted too.. but sometimes all I can do.. is tell YOU and trust YOU with it.. sometimes there isn’t another person around to tell.. Or who might not be bias.. or would understand.. because if I tried.. I would seem bitchy or they might think I’m depressed or they might think crazy… ha ha.. they might not understand at all.. Who does though.. like YOU.. who does understand us.. and how every word can hurt or we can feel mis-understood by even people who know us well.. And we want things LORD.. that never ever seem to come.. and you just know the other person has no idea.. Whoosh over their head completely.. and that in itself can drive you insane if you let it.. This confidence I find in YOU that YOU are listening.. that even though I don’t have a conversation perse with you back at me.. I find peace floods in or joy floods in and I just know I have been heard.. I begin to think good thoughts.. and my perception changes..
Thoughts come that are totally opposite of what my jumbled thoughts are creating inside my head.. They are cool thoughts.. to a hot head.. 🙂

LORD if sharing my thoughts, the way I get through things.. helps another soul.. it is worth it.. because YOU do help me.. YOU do listen.. YOU do understand me.. and ohhhh that is the biggest reason I keep my faith in you.. Not because of the big things cause honestly I don’t always see them.. some I do.. but there are things in my life I have wanted and not seen come to pass.. yet.. 🙂 but I love that I can believe YOU are here.. and I can believe that you love me and YOUR spirit is inside.. working.. helping.. strengthening.. using me… ohhh little me.. stumbling.. imperfect.. procrastinating.. lol.. little me.. with my big faults that people love to pick up on.. ha ha.. but YOU love me.. and I know it.. and I believe it.. and thump my chest because I won’t get down about the stupid stuff which everyone goes though.. and I will believe I am holy.. Wow that word and me together.. lol.. but YOU made it possible.. because YOU lived perfect.. YOU did that for me and YOU say I am with you and even in me through YOUR spirit and I believe it..
That makes everything work together.. and helps me along my way.. to keep going.. no matter what.. and they can say what they say.. or think what they think.. but I know YOU know and YOU know I know.. and that makes it all OK!!!!